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05/02/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

5 Hot Tips for Overcoming Obstacles & your Inner Critic

5 Hot Tips for Overcoming Obstacles & your Inner Critic

It’s all about mindset

Inner critic

blue bullet very small What you say when you talk to yourself [Shad Helmsetter’s best-selling book]

blue bullet very small

Why you give the imposter syndrome permission control your life

blue bullet very small Whether you are prepared to act ‘as it’ – even ‘fake it till you make it’

blue bullet very small

How much you indulge your gremlins, those inner critics.

 

Susan Jeffers wrote a whole book on ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’.

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

It is essentially about the choices we make. What if you choose to replace fear with another, stronger emotional driver; that of core confidence? Choosing to be controlled by your inner critic is very exhausting and destructive, as is the Imposter Syndrome. Experiment using Appreciative Inquiry’s approach, which is so simple and might need practice: appreciate what is working well and what could work even better – which circumvents anything negative.

Consider carefully when you say yes to your inner critic what it is that you are saying no to. And consider when you say no to your inner critic what is is that you are saying yes to. Ask yourself what is the pay off?

“I’d wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot and think, I can’t do this; I’m a fraud.” – Kate Winslet, Academy Award-winning actress

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.” – Maya Angelou, Pulitzer Prize-nominated poet and author

“I am always looking over my shoulder, wondering if I measure up.” – Sonia Sotomayor, first Hispanic U.S. Supreme Court Justice

Getting over obstacles

 

What if, whenever an obstacle appears or arrives in your life, instead of getting despondent, being stopped, letting it get bigger and bigger, feeling it’s not fair or giving up you made different choices?

What if Google Translate interpreted ‘obstacle’ as a challenge to be solved? How might that approach influence your mindset? What inspired solutions might emerge?

 

5 Hot Tips (with thanks to Abraham)

1. Tell a better-feeling story about the things that are important to you.

2. Don’t write your story like a factual documentary, weighing all the pros and cons of your experience

3. Instead tell the uplifting, fanciful, magical story of the wonder of your own life

4. Watch what happens as you make different choices

It’ll feel like magic as your life begins to transform right before your eyes!

“Whatever you think you can you can and whatever you think you can’t you make that happen.” Henry Ford shone this spotlight on the power of your thinking to create your reality.

What will you choose?

 

Halina Jaroszewska Jan 2018

 

 

 

Filed Under: Decisions, Mindset, Motivation

05/02/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

Careering from Career to Career

Careering from Career to Career

Recently, I met one of my clients, whom, two years ago, I encouraged to ‘swim in a different pool’ (according to her testimonial). She is very happy in her new role. She says, as a career coach I gave her the courage to change. But first she needed to decide what she wanted to do

  • How did she do it?
  • How would you do it?

For many people they get their first job by chance, by who they knew, by their qualifications or education subjects.

So career decisions are fixed when you start specialising at school. Some of us have the courage to change over the years. Or maybe every job move is based on doing the same thing, just getting more money or in a different place. This is how promotions shift people from doing to managing – many don’t like it but put up with it.

Read the full article

 

Filed Under: Career Development, Mindset

05/01/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

Time Management that works for you

Time Management that works for you

Make this New Year of 2018 the year when you manage time rather than assuming it manages you; 

make this New Year of 2018 the year during which you design and create new or different ways

of doing things better or differently.

Time ManagementEveryone has 24 hours x 365 days per year x number of years in one’s lifetime.

Exactly the same amount paid into each individual’s time ‘bank’ account at one nano second past midnight on January 1st each year. How do we view that deposit? Do we even give it a thought? Does it warrant a cursory glance? Do we give a nano second’s consideration as to how we will use the time deposited? Does it even cross our minds to make one New Year’s resolution to use every nano second to the absolute max in whatever way we choose? Do we make any plans at all?

Or do we, without a scrap of consciousness, allow ourselves to be swept away on the tidal wave of time with a wild ‘wheee’ of gay abandon making it OK by thinking it’s just another year like any other. And then when 31st December arrives as it inevitably does each year wonder in genuine puzzlement as to where that year has gone and why everything we had wanted to do is still on the list [if there was ever one in existence].

Fact is if we fail to plan we plan to fail.

Maybe we labour under the misapprehension that we have no control over time. In some ways that is correct as we humans have invented time pieces of all shapes, sizes, dimensions and mechanisms and they register the regular passing of each second so that we can keep on track throughout the world.

However the control that all of us have is how we use each of those seconds. Whether we use them consciously or let them slip away without regard. What would you prefer to be in charge of your time or let it vanish unused. Even if for example you have a boss who orders how you use your time at work; a family who absorb your time at home you still can be in control of how you approach each second you spend in either situation.

How about experimenting with a different perspective?

How about valuing each second, savouring each moment, getting total pleasure in each time slot as if it might be your last? How might that change your approach to time and enable you to discover different ways of doing the same old thin Different perspectives g that will make the difference?

You may be started to read this article thinking ‘Yippee! I am going to get a whole list of ways to manage my time … all the hard work will be done for me’. Nice try! How I might organise / use / appreciate my time will be radically different from yours. It is for you to take a slice of time to consider all the excuses, reasons why, reasons why not that are your favourites as to why you run out of time / don’t have enough time / can’t find time etc. And to call yourself to account to ditch the old, out dated, routine ways you have used to date and surprise yourself with how inventive you can be especially regarding procrastination.

In a Youtube clip re mobile phones Simon Sinek talks about ‘in between time’ as the time when relationships are built. He advocates using time to connect rather than being distracted by those incessant pings demanding attention. Maybe that is where you could start with managing time differently, more effectively by relegating your mobile phone to the position of a useful tool rather than a demanding toddler!

For some help with ways to manage your time bank and keep control, get in touch.

Halina Jaroszewska 2018

 

Filed Under: Decisions, Time Management

27/11/2017 By Isla Baliszewska

Being a Positive Disruptor for TEDxBristol 2017

Being a Positive Disruptor for TEDxBristol 2017

Tess McCoughlan of Flexidb and Halina Jaroszewska at TEDxBristol 2017

 

TEDxBristol is the biggest TEDx event in Europe and is all about spreading new ideas, making an impact and building free knowledge to share to a wide community.  This year TEDxBristol took place in November, with the powerful theme of Dare to Disrupt! focusing on “Bristol’s positive disruptors, whose ideas and actions are ripping up the rule book and having a global impact.”

 

The picture here was taken in the Community Partners hub by Alyssa Haggarty, Trainee Solicitor at Burges Salmon, who were headline sponsors at the 2 day event. Burges Salmon VIP guests throughout the 2 days were asking everyone they came across why they dared to disrupt. Tess Coughlan-Allen from MindDoodle & Flexidb and one of the amazing TEDxBristol 2017’s Community Partners said ‘thinking is non-linear’.  SCT’s very own Halina Jaroszewska who was part of TEDxBristol 2017’s organising team with responsibility for Community Partnerships said she dares to disrupt because ‘I can and do … it’s such fun’.

 

TEdxBristol 2017 was a great success, a sell out and trending on Twitter. The much appreciated sponsorship from the Community Partners enabled community groups, young people and the much older people to attend who might not have been able to do so. A result in line with TEDxBristol’s core values.

 

Post event, TEDxBristol held a Wrap Up Dinner for its partners and Disruptors.  Read more about that event in Richard Hill’s article.

TEDx logo

Filed Under: Enterprise & innovation

13/11/2017 By Isla Baliszewska

Six preparations for Successful Presenting

Six preparations for Successful Presenting

Successful Presentation

“Imagine everyone in the audience with just underwear on,” we are told – but don’t imagine that will bring you all the confidence you need for a winning performance! Instead, just be sure you have ticked the list of the Top 6 Preparations for Successful Public Speaking below.

star Just like a film set you can apply some of the stage setting, preparation and rehearsal to your ultimate role in the movie. Think of all the roles that go into making a film, now think of your role as the Lead Star. It takes a team and a methodical set up behind the scenes to make the magic happen. From the director and stage manager to the wardrobe mistress and speech coach, and of course practice practice practice.

Rehearsals

Prep 1 –  Physiology:   Speech coaches have specific exercises you can perform and practice with, warming up before you start. Sentences such as “Top of the tongue, teeth and lips to ensure you deliver with your vowels well rounded and consonants crisp and clear.”  To release stress jump up and down sway your arms from side to side, and let go of any tension and trapped emotion.
Prep 2 – Emotional connection:  Studies show that in presentations how we deliver in terms of voice and posture make up 93% of the impact of a speech. Only 7% is the actual words. Practice out loud as often as possible, if you can record yourself on a smart phone you will be able to direct yourself and write an ’emotions script’ to go with the words. This way you can pinpoint where you can evoke reaction and connection with the audience, enhancing through facial expressions or pauses for contemplation.
Prep 3 – Notes:   Ideally you should not be using any notes.  If you must, then use maybe ten keywords on one or more postcards. And make sure all the pages are numbered in case you drop them!  If you have written a script then, with repetition, you may find that the words will be committed to memory which will allow you to focus on delivery. In any case, the more you use a script the less likely you will be able to tailor your presentation to the reactions of your audience.  Whether you use a tablet or paper make sure it all looks professional and larger than normal print so you are not peering at it!

Stage Management/Costume

Gen Y Prep 4 – Impression:   Plan your outfit ahead of time; every detail is important here, from the undergarments to the clothes on top; think about who your audience is, if you need to present authority then dress for the part.  You have to feel confident before you start speaking, one of the easiest ways is through your clothes.  When actors are reading for a part they often start with clothing as the character develops through the way the clothes make them feel; dressed up to the nines you may see physiological changes, straightening of the back, head held high: if you have a comfy sweater on you may relax and slick the shoulders.  I often find that drawing on a persona helps with delivery, think about who you admire and model your actions on how they would present.
Prep 5 – Environment:  Where possible visit the venue where you will be speaking.  An NLP exercise is to physically draw a timeline and walk through the paces of getting up from your chair walking to the front and turning to the audience. Or if that is not possible visualise yourself making these steps.   Breathing exercises also help, so you don’t forget to take a breath.

Break glass in case of Emergency
Prep 6 – Physiological problems:   If you find your heart begins to race, your hands are sweaty or your mind goes blank, this exercise when practiced will guarantee calmness and confidence when you need it:

Close your eyes relax your tongue, breath deeply from the diaphragm and allow the emotion to pass, next think about a time where you have felt great, amazing and happy…turn up the colours, give it sound if it’s a moving picture, watch it like a film where you are in the audience. Now make an “O” sign with your thumb and forefinger, feel those good feelings inside, and harness that feeling whilst feeling the pressure of your fingertips.
This is called an NLP anchor, by repeating this process you will be able to activate good thoughts and feelings at the moment you need it.

So now you’re ready!  Have fun and enjoy your presentation.

Helen Morris

 

Filed Under: Being Confident, Presenting and Presentations

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