Mindset Archives - Smart Coaching and Training | Business Support, Consultancy, Mentoring

29/01/2021 By David Rigby

Zooming with Intercultural Globality

Remembering Dr David Clive Price

Most of us ‘ain’t going nowhere’ at present because of COVID. So, you can sit at home doing nothing, or you can consider the world as being your oyster. With tools such as Zoom you can attend virtual meetings in virtually any country and subsequently in another immediately after. And each meeting can have attendees from multiple countries. So, you have the opportunity to really cock it up several times a day. Do you know enough about the culture, the attitude to hierarchies, how decisions are made, approaches to LGBTQ+, women and ageism.

Do you even know where the countries are that delegates are coming from?

Can you
• Understand the underlying languages of the delegates
• Speak loud enough so that everyone can understand
• Simplify your language, being careful not to use expressions
• Know when to read out loud documents for readers where not first language
• Appreciate that some can read better than they can speak and for others – the reverse
• Understand the decision-making process
• Show the skills of enabling people to come round to your opinion without them losing face
• Know enough about other languages to at least do small talk

*Zoom session with composer Valerie Simpson with some of the 150 participants*

Developing the personal skills to be able to succeed in many different countries at the same time or in rapid succession is not a case of learning the languages and the cultural mores. It is a case of changing the way YOU behave and your actions so that, wherever you are, you are both accepted by the people and are successfully able to navigate your way to success. Rather than expecting everyone to be like you it is an opportunity to cash in on the differences if only you know how.

Diversity and Inclusion

Diversity and Inclusion covers the pitfalls and benefits of working with a team where the members are not exactly like you, whether local or global. To finally grasp why the benefits are worth it despite the aggravation, and how to develop the skills to succeed. Intercultural Globality is about developing your sixth sense using Emotional Intelligence, NLP, sensitivity and awareness. Developing the confidence to glide through the conflicting cultural messages.

Hidden Demons

I am writing this in tribute to our associate Dr David Clive Price who died in December from COVID after a short illness. His knowledge of working with different cultures was second to none – as he had lived a life and practiced before he preached. I took some of his courses.

We were about to jointly deliver a webinar based on his latest book, about which SCT wrote “Hidden Demons is a wonderful read based on his life story together with training about how to recognise the depths he fell into and in particular how he can help you get out of them. Compelling personal story, great coaching, compulsive read.”

Read Hidden Demons: How to Overcome Anxiety, Addiction and Fear of Failure – it’s a great way to appreciate the necessity and benefits of Intercultural Globality. Read more about Intercultural Globality …

Squaring Mindful Meditation with Internalised Capitalism

According to New York Therapist, Lee McKay Doe, Internalised Capitalism looks like ……

Internalised Capitalism

Feeling guilty for resting
Your self-worth is largely based on doing well in your career
Placing productivity before health
Believing hard work = happiness
Feeling lazy, even when you’re experiencing pain, trauma or adversity
Using busyness as a way of avoiding your needs .

Painting by *Andrés* Sergio *Echeveste* *taken in Altea by David Rigby*

Many of us will recognise many of these thoughts in ourselves. And this is why we might find meditation so difficult.

Finding meditation so difficult

When we meditate, we lower our stress levels, we get to know our pain, we connect better, we improve our focus, and we’re kinder to ourselves. All of these things can improve our health, and as a consequence help us become better at our internalised capitalism.
Being super focussed on the here and now, rather than planning what to do next, or reviewing the past, is the basis of mindfulness and also can be a good focus when meditating. But that also requires letting go of the here and now too. Learning to be who you are, and liking it is sufficient.
If I am chugging along nicely I don’t find the tine to meditate. If I am super stressed I find it really beneficial, If I am not too busy then it’s a useful way of connecting with myself and with others.

So how to avoid the guilt trip?

• See meditation as part of work. – and so it’s not ‘resting’
• Recognise meditation can help you focus – so you can be better at your career and self worth
• Meditation can improve your heath – and with better health more productivity
• Meditating is not being lazy – it’s not easy to do
• It’s a way of being busy, but also it can be a way of recognising and meeting your needs.

Meditating Mindfully

Meditating Mindfully is difficult on your own – better to join a group and meditate on Zoom or whatever. Your colleagues can give you insights and encouragements as well as the discipline. You can also watch how the others meditate – though it is often more interesting to watch paint dry (especially these paintings).

27/10/2020 By David Rigby

Staying authentic while code switching

Code-switching is when someone changes their language based on who they are with, typically to fit in better with that group. There are many reasons why people code-switch. People switch their pronunciations of words and their dialects around to better fit in with a certain group.

They also change their behaviour.

In linguistics, code-switching or language alternation occurs when a speaker alternates between two or more languages, or language varieties, in the context of a single conversation. But its much more than that.

Multilinguals, speakers of more than one language, sometimes use elements of multiple languages when conversing with each other.

*Ghiyathi, UAE – code switching or diplomacy? by David Rigby*

In dress and food – choosing to dress in the mode of the people you are with, learning to eat the same food in the same way the others do is another type of code switching .

Why do people do this ?

Often to do with work. In the UK people switch to the codes of the straight white southern public-school-educated male in order to get the best jobs.. And all places have their equivalents.

But what do they switch from?

Being Northern – whilst having a Northern Accent is not the slur it was, it can still be prejudicial in building the connections. Dropping the northern sense of humour in order to be understood, removing terms of endearment and being over-friendly.
Being Female – it is possible to get on as female, but many have to adopt ‘boy’s behaviours’ to climb the ladder.
Being of Foreign Origin while raised in Britain. – In many ways having to have two different cultures – the ones you use at home and the ones you use at work. Those that don’t follow the subtleties and indirectness of the polite British society can ‘scare the natives’ with their directness or loudness.
Being Foreign – being aware that the accepted behaviours at home may not be acceptable in your new location. Observing and copying the new ‘norms’.
Being LGBTQ – being ‘straight acting’ or so you think.

There are dangers

So, at least historically, wearing the traditional uniform of white man’s business – Grey or Blue suit, white shirt and tie, no beard is a way of ‘belonging’. But it can be cultural appropriation – white people wearing dreadlocks or Arabic dress is asking for trouble.
The more you code switch the more you become the person you are switching into. And then you go ‘back home’ and everyone thinks you are now too posh to talk to. So you switch back. Which is the real you? It is so stressful and exhausting.

*Being Intercultural while Leadership Training in Ghana by David Rigby*

Intercultural Globality is a method by which you can learn to be all things to all people. And still be true to yourself. Understanding your communication preferences is a good start. Just ask .

03/10/2020 By Eric Moore

The Age of Anxiety

“West Side Story” composer Leonard Bernstein’s Symphony No. 2 The Age of Anxiety was composed from 1948 to 1949 in the US and Israel. It is titled after W. H. Auden’s poem of the same name. Was 1949 the Age of Anxiety or is it now? Most of us have some form of anxiety in our lives and with the continued events of 2020 it is becoming more prevalent.

Our trainer Eric Moore. Ask about individual and group wellness at work coaching

Coping Mechanisms

To combat anxiety people will employ different coping mechanisms to help deal with their anxiety. These may include, exercise, going for a walk, listening to music, or some other form of distraction, though when it strikes these often fail, because the problem is neurological, so therefore to successfully cure anxiety the changes need to take place at the neurological level. Another mechanism many use is to try and avoid the situations that cause them to feel anxious or panic. This though prevents, change and growth. Another thing I often come across is hearing clients say “It happens to me – I don’t make it happen”. This mindset can unfortunately prevent the person from taking ownership of the problem.

Causes of Anxiety

Anxiety is caused by an over arousal of the autonomic nervous system, so someone will often get anxious before they even know it, and by the time this happens it’s too late. So they say “it’s not my fault since it happens automatically”. However they created it due to reacting to an external stimulus such as crowded spaces, social gatherings, giving a presentation. This can then generalise, so even the thought of it becomes enough to create the anxious state.

Fight or Flight

This triggers the fight or flight response in part of the brain called the amygdala and can cause a myriad of issues both psychologically and physiologically. Dry mouth, sweaty palms, palpitations, racing heartbeat and thoughts, tightness or pain in the chest to name a few.

Internal Dialogue

Taking responsibility and owning it is one of the steps to overcoming this debilitating issue towards recovery. Anxiety and panic is often a function of the internal dialogue and the images one creates in the mind. Intervening by changing the images and speed of what is said internally are key to becoming anxiety free. Now, depending on the type of anxiety there will be more activity in one hemisphere of the brain and another tool for change is to engage both hemispheres whilst thinking of the anxious state. If you are curious about to take back control and become anxiety free then join our workshop here on send us a message here.

Written by Eric Moore , Smart Coaching & Training Ltd.

22/07/2020 By David Rigby

White Lies Matter

“You might think that, I couldn’t possibly comment!” was the signature phrase of the scheming politician Francis Urquhart, played by Ian Richardson in the 1990 television thriller House of Cards. It’s the great coaching get-out, but what if you did comment and were sparing with the truth?

“Does my bum look big in this?” What can you say? If you don’t say ‘no’ you are in trouble. My father lost a life long friend by responding honestly to the question “What do you think of these paintings I have made?”.

White lies, being economical with the truth a.k.a. lies by omission : Do they have a place in the coaching world? Do they have a place in your everyday world?

it’s ‘the way you tell them’

Ultimately, it’s ‘the way you tell them’ which makes the difference between retaining and losing a client or a friend. How honest an answer will you give, will depend on

Who you are;
Who they are;
The nature of your relationship.

But white lies and omissions are only for the lazy.

Sugar coated diplomacy

For those who are familiar with Behavioural Preference Profiling, which is about communication, the blunt logic of the ‘Reds’ and ‘Blues’ can be an affront when talking to the more emotional ‘greens’ and ‘yellows’ who prefer the truth sugar coated with opinion and diplomacy.

In the world of politics telling blatant lies seems to be the way forward, and of course the history of the winners, as taught in schools, and portrayed by the tabloids, seems not to matter either.

My father used to say ‘Give me the facts’ – and was not interested in opinions. Even if they confirmed his own. He read a left wing broadsheet so there was some hope, but never got the balance, and believed what he read was ‘the truth’ because it was ‘in print’.

In the office, it is well recognised that having the Psychological Safety to be able to speak up and speak out leads to better results but in most organisations cannot be done. To be well at work you need also to be able to both tell the truth and receive the truth. But you must remember

Your truth, is probably your opinion often based on little or biased knowledge of the facts;
Their truth, is probably their opinion often based on little or biased knowledge of the facts.

Learning to debate, without falling out, is a life skill, as is being able to recognise that others may be just as passionate as you about their incorrect views. Learn to live with it. I recently asked a group to debate with me issues I was currently having about recent politics. It helped me enormously. Being able to discuss without fear of retribution is crucial to a healthy life. We can facilitate groups or just coach you honestly to help you resolve your issues. Be brave. – white lies do matter.

Written by David Rigby, Smart Coaching & Training Ltd.