Emotional Intelligence Archives - Smart Coaching and Training | Business Support, Consultancy, Mentoring

27/03/2023 By David Rigby

Keeping tradition at Fallas Valencia

The Fallas in Valencia, Spain is an annual event which lasts three weeks with a history of at least 150 years.

Fireworks and Flames

Basically a montage of paper mache cartoon-like figures reaching maybe 15 metres, often lampooning politicians, will be positioned at many of the intersections of streets in the middle of the road. These are accompanied by very loud fireworks set off by the people at frequent intervals throughout the city until well after midnight.

Mascletas

At pre-arranged times, several times a day, officially organised ‘mascletas’, happen where many loud fireworks are set off at prearranged times. These are heard by hundreds of people in the streets as it’s not possible to see unless you waited two hours in the street. Late on the last Sunday all the mannequins are burnt. I have never seen so many people crammed together in good spirits and apart from predictable thefts and out of control fires there are very few incidents.

Group Behaviours

What is so interesting is the behaviour of the people. You can see the people, mainly young women in traditional dress giving flowers at the statue of the virgin, clearly honoured and clearly believing. People of all ages buy and set off loud fireworks in the middle of the pavement or road with complaints.

Teaching the Children

The children from the age of 8 go out with little wooden boxes full of fireworks and just set them off without incident in the middle of the street and have great fun. How? Because they are taught by their peers and parents how to do it. I set light to my first fireworks since I was 15.

Overcoming personal fears

The last time I lit a firework I was 12 years old. So I was very definitely out of my comfort zone when it came to lighting and holding live fireworks squirting into the air or knowing which ones to light and throw into the distance awaiting a loud bang.

the fireworks in place for burning- each makes a loud bang

Health and Safety

I hate to think what the health and safety mafia in UK or UAE or USA would think of this. Like with responsible drinking, the Spanish teach their children to do apparently dangerous things safely from an early age. Would that the world would follow.

Sunday night – the great burning – and its all over

By Sunday night it’s all over and by Monday morning all is cleared and you would get a hefty fine for setting off your fireworks past that Sunday midnight. The government, the local businesses and the people spend a lot of money on this. It brings international and local tourist money and builds community and maintains tradition. Well done Valencia and the Fallas. Benefits to Smart Coaching & Training is observing and taking part in cultural events

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here

In conjunction with Professional Speakers Association (Spain) , SCT’s David Rigby will be present at the TEDx Marbella Spain event on June 9 focussing on Entrepreneurs

02/03/2023 By David Rigby

Forget ‘Lived Experience’: Diversity + Entrepreneurs = more money

Dancing alone or just with your mates

Dancing on your own or just with your mates is the perfect way to get your truth confirmed, and to re-enforce your lived experience. If you are a startup and just want customers like you that’s a great way to start a business. However:

I often hear it said that ““Diversity and Inclusion” is for big business. So, as an entrepreneur it doesn’t affect me”. In the UK, you need to have a diversity policy to apply for government work, though I do not think they care whether or not you implement it. No amount of your truth through ‘lived experience ‘ will enable you to disregard the wisdom of the many , so as an entrepreneur use others’ diverse lived experience. It is essential that you do.

Dancing with others

Featured in the pictures is Jorge. He is from Cuba, he is gay, and he is young. He teaches posture and dancing – samba, bachata etc. He is in Spain. His clients are principally older, straight, white women from Sweden (he speaks the language and has lived there), England (he is learning the language), Netherlands, Norway and Spain (native language). The competition is tough, there are many dancing teachers. He has taken advice on how his clients behave when these ex-pats are in Spain. This is not the same as when they are in their native countries. Not only his he an expert dancer, he as learnt interculturality from people totally different from himself, particularly recognising that dancing is a contact sport with different rules in different countries.

when dancing: knowing how to touch without offence

teaching multiple nationalities with confidence

Chinese Entrepreneurs

Across the world, immigrants have opened restaurants. Among the Chinese communities, some of the restauranteurs keep to authentic Chinese food and thus the clientele is the local Chinese and those who appreciate it. Others sanitise the food, so it is attractive to the host community, while others recognise that it’s not just the food that is important but also the way you treat the clients. They understand that throwing the food on the table on cracked plates may be exotic but it is not the way to build a business with international or multi-ethnic clients. A Chinese family business is exactly that, so the likelihood is that the workers are only Chinese. But those who want to grow the business need to know the cultural preferences of the non-Chinese people they are surrounded by. In Australia the difference between ‘local’ Chinese in Chinatown and those in the nearby international areas is astonishing. The clients can choose ‘ethnic’ or sanitised.

Greeks, Italians, Turkish, Indians, Scandinavians

Then there are the complications of Italians running Greek restaurants. Immediate culture clash. Were they quick enough off the mark when ‘Turkish’ coffee suddenly became ‘Greek’ coffee in the 1970s? In the costal towns of Spain, the Nepalese produce Indian Curry for the other expats such as Brits and Scandinavians as the local Spanish don’t like it. They have to understand many cultures.

Who are your target customers?

From the get go, an entrepreneur or start-up needs to decide who his/her customers are going to be. If they are exactly like him/her – fine, but that excludes 90% of the population. If a company requires technology, if it builds a website for locals, then it is likely to write its text in one language, use one currency and wont choose a more expensive dotcom web address to demonstrate internationalness. It’s very difficult to change your website suffix, add new languages and currencies later. So, from day one, consider who you want your customers to be, and build for different currencies and languages.

People NOT like you

People like you can be from your country but also from everywhere else. They can be different ages, sexes, sexualities, races and still be exactly like you. And if you employ “people like you”, or even seek their advice, the chances are that they will confirm your prejudices, meaning that you will gear your sales to only “people like you”. The consequence being that you will miss out on a huge number of opportunities because of your inbuilt bias. I recall a greeting card vendor who only retailed cards they personally liked – and went out of business not knowing why.

Worldview and Cognitive Diversity

We are all people who sometimes “do the right thing” or “preserve the family regardless of the individual preferences in it” or “seek power”. You will have behaviours which enforce your preferences. The more different your colleagues are from you in these categories, the more likely you are to attract a broader clientele.

Some sales persons start with “Imagine how it would feel if you bought …”. Some people like to imagine, for others it’s a turn off. Some people like lots of technical details, others like high-level benefits. Do you really need to know how your car works? If you are a salesperson with an engineering background, you may insist on telling potential buyers of a car’s technical characteristics and hence turn off 50% of them. A favourite line of a nearby real estate agent is “Wake up and smell the coffee…” again tapping into the ‘emotional’ folks, and turning off the non-emotional or logical folks – and those who don’t like coffee.

Think BIG from the start

As an entrepreneur you need to think big from the start, to maximise sales opportunities. So, employ, or take advice from people who are completely different from you, not your mates at the bar, the gym or golf club. Choose the kind of advisors who are nothing like you but are like the customers you want to attract, where with your personality and prejudices you have no hope of luring them in.

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 11 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. We can certainly come up with people exactly like you but you would be better working with the exact opposite. See our associates here

In conjunction with Professional Speakers Association (Spain) , SCT’s David Rigby will be present at the TEDx Marbella event on June 9 focussing on Entrepreneurs

09/01/2023 By David Rigby

Productivity and Wellness: Confidence, Communication, and Motivation

Productivity + Wellness = money

I am a great fan of the podcasts and programmes broadcast by BBC Radio 4 in UK. on these programmes I have noticed a great interest in the Productivity industry and the Wellness industry and how they are interconnected. To succeed in both of these, prerequisites are Confidence, Communication and Motivation. And together they can lead to collective effervescence.

Collective Effervescence

I have worked in 22 countries and accordingly the norms of behaviour are very different. Likewise I am aware that learning to communicate with people in a language is not their native one (or my native one) requires special skills. It helps to understand the constructs of their native language. Don’t assume that because someone comes from or lives in a particular country will be have in the stereotypical way. The majority of people in any country do not conform to national stereotypes and the best way of building relationships with anyone is by building cognitive diversity skills as well as intercultural skills.

Motivation is the first step

Unless you are motivated you won’t do anything. Getting motivated to get up in the morning is the first step to doing anything. Motivation leads to action and that’s the only way to get to results. Motivation can help get you better at something. Personally I struggled all my life with not speaking clearly and when I started my first job I was too shy to talk to people. I became motivated to improve my communication skills. Understanding my Cognitive Communication Profile helped me recognise that people prefer to communicate differently. I took the plunge to take public speaking classes. My confidence in speaking gradually improved, one baby step at a time.

unlease your motivation click to see more

ace your communication click to see more

confidence: strut your stuff click to see more

Confidence to speak to strangers

If you talk to a stranger at a meeting or party – what’s the worst thing that can happen? They ignore you. And you would be no worse off than if you did nothing . At best you can get a new friend, lover or work. Having the confidence to try new things, the confidence to fail and learn are skills on the road to success.

Motivation, Confidence, Communication – two ways to learn

Confidence, Communication and Motivation are fundamentals to success, to be productive and be well. We are running one day courses on all three in Morocco in March. Why not join us in the sun. See more here or click through on the icons above right. Or if not, the courses are available on line. here

At Smart Coaching & Training we have a diverse team of 20 associates in four continents speaking 11 languages. We pass the tests on diversity for sex/gender, race/ethnicity, sexuality, education, class, generation. and fail on the boring-interesting spectrum. See our associates here

10/11/2022 By David Rigby

Cognitive: the most important type of Diversity

Are you dancing? Are you asking?

What’s the difference between being asked to the dance and being asked to dance ? This is a well established and good example of explaining the difference between Diversity and Inclusion.

Go sort these women’s issues

Typically, the pale, male and stale brigade announce they have a woman or an LGBT person on the board and they are tasked with dealing with HR or other soft topics and never get asked their opinion let alone to manage with anything else as that’s straight man’s work. And it ticks all the boxes of their Diversity policy. None of the ticks in the Inclusion box.

People like me, people like us

Most organisations typically like to recruit ‘people like us’ so they wont challenge the status quo. Most individuals (and many organisations) have cognitive dissidence – not even realising that have biases let alone doing something to counter it.

You are black – therefore your politics are…

The furore about a recent ex UK prime minister’s non-white chancellor demonstrated that colour is immaterial to diversity if all about you were also educated at Eton. Another politician said , in effect , “All black people think like this (or should)”- unless they are from a privileged group and are not, or much less, oppressed. Some people think “All Spanish people behave like this”- but depending on social status or location may not. – ‘some’ Spanish people may, most probably don’t .

How many stereotypes do you belong to?

Stereotypes are the biggest disaster – for any category the majority just don’t fit because they also belong to many other types which may be more prevalent.

*David Rigby will be presenting at PSAx talks 26 November 2022 in Barcelona (see below)*

*David Rigby was an expert speaker in Jersey (UK) in Otober*

*Hear SCT associates David Rigby, Jessica Breitenfeld, Caroline Dreami, and Ian Gibbs and many other experts at this Barcelona event. – details below*

Gender and Sexuality – sorted – so we are diverse.

There are other types of diversity except gender and sexuality. And yet most of the talk is about these two. The woman’s lobby and the LGBT+etc lobbies have ensured that. And coming up a good third is Race/Ethnicity and country of origin. Is dealing with these enough ? – many organisations dont know any better.

Class, education type and education level, country of residence, age (generation), religion, culture, organisation all are different spectrums of diversity.

Neurodiversity and Worldview

And worthy of inclusion are NeuroDiversity and Worldview. Neurodiversity is used to explain the diverse ways of thinking, learning, processing and behaving. People who think differently can come up with different ideas. ADHD, Autism, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia, and Tourette’s syndrome are all examples of neurodiverse conditions.

Worldview is about values and cultural behaviours. The concept worldview usually refers to an interpretation of reality that provides an overarching framework for the constitution of the world or the cosmos. Various belief systems, religions, ideologies, and science itself are examples of worldviews that contain differing pictures of the world. All of us have different pictures – the more the pictures differ the more diverse the team. For example, the family is more important than the individual. Power is more important than doing the right thing.

Looking at different perspectives and listening to others – to make more money

The point about having a diverse and fully included team is that it looks at things from different perspectives. And research shows over and over that organisations with the most diverse teams are the most successful and profitable. Many people think they are diverse until someone challenges them with a different opinion.

Those who think logically typically take a different perspective compared with those who think emotionally. The extravert thinks differently from the introvert. Having a team or organisation with all these categories in various of the four combinations are the most powerful diverse teams you can have. This is called cognitive diversity.

Cognitive : Introvert or Extravert ? Logical or Emotional

Working with people who think and communicate the same way as you, regardless of their other diverse characteristics, will not get you the benefits of a diverse team. To get the benefits, above all, you need a team that is cognitively diverse. Just invite all the combinations both to the dance and also to dance . Read more here

At Smart Coaching & Training we have a diverse team of 20 associates in four continents speaking 11 languages. We pass the tests on diversity for sex/gender, race/ethicity, sexuality, education, class, generation. and fail on the boring-interesting spectrum. See our associates here

To attend the Professional Speakers Association (Spain) ‘s PSAx event in Barcelona on November 26th click here

24/08/2022 By David Rigby

Rubbing salt into the API wounds

Getting closer to the king

In the very old days , salt was very expensive and was used as a status symbol. At a banquet, salt would be placed in a strategic place on the long narrow tables and at the head of the table would be a very important person such as the king. The closer to the king you were the more important you were and if you were below the salt – you really were nobody.

Enabling people to take responsibility

I have fought running battles with managers and executives, particularly in the Middle East, where every tiny decision needs the signature of the boss – and I thought progress was being made. Getting over the challenges where entire peoples (such as Filipinos in Middle East; most Indians, women, and Northerners and Working Class folk in the UK) were educated to just do what they were told, know their place, and challenge nothing and certainly not to network.

Progress is being made – if you are ‘above the API’ and not if you are ‘below the API’
Today, you’re either above the API (application programming interface)or below the API. You either tell robots what to do, or are told by robots what to do.

*Below the salt: Learning English though Vaughan Systems at Belmonte Spain*

*Chess Pieces made by Alejandro Garabon in Altea Alicante It’s all black or white with API*

Psychologically safe environments

These days you are encouraged to develop your own networks and initiatives, and in theory there is the modern day leader who delegates responsibility to his team in a psychologically safe environment and allows them to experiment , to make mistakes without getting fired and above all gives them the authority to enable them make the decisions, wherever ‘the buck stops’ and your manager supported you. But only if you are above the API . While the upper and middle classes will work though ‘who you know’ it is still positively frowned upon in the working classes who will ‘get there on their own merit without help from anyone’.

Above and below the API

An example of an API is Uber. The app sends a request that includes account data, pickup and dropoff locations to drivers nearby and dispatches one to the customer to fulfil the request. The only two humans involved are the customer and the driver. The skills the drivers develop in driving are not an investment in their future. It’s a dead end job They have no opportunity to progress and no contact with management unless it all goes wrong. So there is even less opportunity than with working in a contact centre where at least you may have contact with the management. There is constant dispute with Uber and similar organisations such as Deliveroo as to whether the drivers are employed or casual It is no great surprise that the drivers are going on strike even in places where it is illegal such as Dubai. Good for them.

It knows you know (tribute to Hilda Baker)

In effect the computer (API) knows when you breathe, how long it takes to pee, as well as counting how many journeys and dinners are delivered, issues you resolve and other times how many people you can get rid of. Does it give you career progression? No. Does it allow you to develop your initiative and self-confidence? No. That’s the world of networking, negotiation, staff retention and freedom which you can get from being above the API and above the salt.

Breeding Populism and Fascism?

People being put below the API and not allowed to challenge, is ideal scenario for breeding populism and fascism. ( and could be a contributing factor to Brexit. )

At Smart Coaching & Training we are really busy teaching those above the API , matching the client to appropriate associate based on needs including location and language.