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26/01/2024 By David Rigby

What the butler saw

What the butler saw

Executive Assistants and Work Ethic

I have just finished listening to The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro. In it, the protagonist Stevens, a butler, reviews his life. By putting his duty to his boss above all else he fails to support his father and wrecks the opportunity for a relationship – indeed doesn’t even recognise it. He was privy to many meetings held by his boss, significantly about the treaties after the first world war and meetings with the Germans immediately before the second world war. Never questioning the wisdom of his boss he wonders how his responsibility for the provision of the perfect cup of tea helps with the meetings .

How relevant is this for today?

An Executive Assistant appears to be similar to the role of Butler. Making sure that everything runs smoothy. Recent articles have asked whether the EA should be on the board? To me, lets say at a meeting, it depends on whether the EA is in part responsible for the outcome of the meeting. Providing input and opinion as well as ensuring the smooth running behind the scenes as it were are different responsibilities and different roles . And it depends whether the EA is paid for those different responsibilities,

1975 show of Joe Orton’s 1967 play What the butler saw

The Work Ethic

Working 72 hours per week not only ensures you are not working at your most effective at work but it can completely remove any hope of a personal life. During a coaching session for a client, we had developed a strategy for his career, and I asked what his personal goals were. He replied- to find a partner, get married etc. There was no space in his life to even build a strategy to find a partner let alone execute it. It took him ten years to find a partner.

Perfectionism and Delegation

The butler believed his standards were the only ones, and was incapable of delegation of responsibility. Complete failure to recognise what is ‘good enough’, and that there are other ways of doing the job. The ‘extra mile’ is fine every once in a while.

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro : the book, the film, the audio book

Getting the coffee

It was the butler’s role to provide the tea (and maybe coffee) . These days the first half hour of a meeting can be: going around the room, taking coffee orders, someone leaves the meeting to go to Star*ucks  (and therefore does not participate during that time), then there is this skill of each participant trying to remember what they ordered.  A butler could arrange this, but an Executive Assistant with responsibilities couldn’t because they need to be present. (Personally, as I am in Spain I would insist on a proper coffee from a local café , thereby extending the ‘coffee’ process).

The Remains of the day

In the novel, this refers to how much of your life is left, and the things you might regret

  • Spending too long at the office
  • Not building up connections and lifelong friendships nothing to do with work
  • Not getting a life or even organising a life
  • Not getting too many responsibilities and if you do, making sure you are paid
  • Not finding space to reflect, learning new stuff, changing your strategy.

Gen x/z and the 35 hour week

My Mother always said that if you can’t do your job in 35 hours a week then you are incompetent or in the wrong job .  The butler’s only life was his work.

It used to be: you clocked off your work after 8 hours and clocked back in the next day.  Technology, flexible working and working from home meant being always available, a slave to your job.  So welcome back the 35 hour week and not being always available. And eat the remains of your dinner while it still hot and have a proper Spanish two hour lunch break

It’s your misguided choice to work 72 hours a week, therefore doing someone else out of a job as well as wrecking your own life, . Just don’t expect others to do so. And remember this lifestyle is YOUR CHOICE. Smart Coaching & Training’s coaches can help you get a balanced life .

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

“What the butler saw” is also a play by Joe Orton

Written by David Rigby © 2024 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Authoritarianism, Being Confident, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, hospitality, leadership, Mindset, Mother, New year's resolutions, Personal Development, Presence, Soft Skills, Wellbeing, You and Your Career Tagged With: Executive Assistance, intuitive, keeping tradition, laughter, performing, Smart Coaching & Training, The Remains of the day

12/11/2023 By David Rigby

Roads were invented so that men could drive to work

Roads were invented so that men could drive to work

The myth of the fifteen minute city

“Roads were invented so that men could drive to work in their cars” -and therefore are bad. This was the quote I remembered when I listened to BBC Radio 4 podcast – Future Cities – in which Tori Herridge was listening to Katrina Johnson-Zimmerman . (I can’t describe it as interviewing – more like curtsying). She appears to be in Philadelphia and by the time she got to Phoenix at the age of 20 it was her first exposure to a city..

No need for transport as everything is walkable

She explained her concept of the 15 minute city where anyone could walk or cycle in 15 minutes to everything they could possibly need. And that any road with more than one carriageway should be reduced to one to allow cycle-paths. Not a mention about the need for fast cheap and reliable public transport because clearly you don’t need it as ‘you ain’t going nowhere’.

The fifteen minute village

Now I live in a small village by the sea in Spain. Some of it is 500 years old and so clearly is not high rise. It’s quite possible to walk from one end to the other in 15 minutes. There are at least 10 supermarkets and local stores such as butchers, fruit-shops and pharmacies. And there are two health centres and community centres. And maybe 50 cafes and restaurants for the tourists.
A lot of the centre is pedestrianised. So far so good. I chose to have no car. It’s 300 steps from the beach, transport and main shops to my house. While I am not young, I am still able to carry my shopping but could not contemplate using a bicycle and neither can most other people, and I wonder for how long I can continue to walk.

Altea Spain – 15 minute village
Altea Spain – 300 steps
Altea Spain – 15 minute village

Why escape ?


Still, everything I could possibly want is there. So why is it I continually want to escape?

  • I need intellectual stimulation. Most of the old folk’s conversation is about what they had for lunch.
  • I want to experience good original food from many different cultures not touristifed.
  • I want to see the Art Galleries, attend good music events, and spend face to face time with friends and colleagues who are stimulating – and go to meet people for work.

None of this is available where I live. So II spend my time between the cities of Valencia, Madrid and Barcelona. It takes 2-3 hours on public transport to travel the 60km to the nearest mainline train and then the trains are frequent and cheap and that 2-3 hours is a reason I will move.

15 minute cities Lincoln Nebraska USA, (courtesy Getty Images),Hong Kong and Dubai (several)

Worldwide experience of fifteen minute cities

Prior to this I worked in 22 counties including

  1. Lincoln, Nebraska – a fifteen minute city which closes at 1800 every day. I rented a car and escaped every weekend it was so boring.
  2. Hong Kong – a fifteen minute city because everything of interest is within one square mile. And you can go on a pub crawl by going to several bars on different floors in the same building. Escaped by boat!
  3. Dubai a fifteen minute city insofar as within 15 minutes of anywhere is everything, high density high rises everywhere. But despite the tram system and buses they need 10 lane highways not the least because the Emiratis and the elite still insist on driving everywhere in their SUVs and expensive sport cars. And in summer after 10 minutes outside you need a shower. There were places I would not live such as Jumeirah Lakes Towers, Dubai Marina or near Burj Khalifa because they were the most likely to get bombed.

The ultimate case for the 15 minute city is that your enemy can bomb it easily – let me think of an example close to Israel. Katrina Johnson-Zimmerman didn’t mention that point.

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

Meet Author David Rigby at Professional Speakers Association (Spain) , convention in Barcelona November 18th.

Written by David Rigby © 2023 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Being Confident, coaching, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Future Planning, Mentoring, Mindset, People Development, Personal Development, Training, Wellbeing Tagged With: bombing, clowninng, cycling, fifteen minute cities, HongKong, innerclown, nebraska, performing, Smart Coaching & Training

28/10/2023 By David Rigby

Getting your fill of Interculturality

Getting your fill of Interculturality

Food and Interculturality.

Last week I thought I would go for some foreign food – so I found a cultural ghetto and chose some typical food of the ghetto. It always helps to be familiar with local ghetto food.

Mushy Peas ?

So I chose Fish & Chips with Mushy Peas accompanied by Tea with Milk. Where was I? Benidorm, Spain inside the English ghetto. Potato Chips (French Fries) made from real potatoes without emulsifiers etc, And most British wouldn’t know what Mushy Peas is.

Ghetto Restaurants

Most places in the world have cultural or food ghettos. What do you do if you are invited to a ghetto restaurant by a client from that country, or indeed elsewhere?
Forget the “I know what I like, I like what I know “ brigade. Your client is entertaining you and it’s incumbent on you to know what you are ordering and to eat it.

Ghetto Food in Spain: Fish Chips Mushy Peas Tea

Two Choices

Local Spanish food eaten by the author in the last month – you can’t order unless you know its name

You have two choices – either understand the menu and make your own choices or ask your host to choose. And in all cases take into account you or your host’s religious restrictions. Whatever you receive you better know the custom and eat all of it to show appreciation or leave a little or the host will order more on your behalf.

Building Intercultural Relationships through food

This is how good relationships are formed. And that can lead to business.  So what can you do to make this a success ?

  • Learn to understand the menus. This is crucial.  Spanish dishes have names from which you cannot tell the ingredients nor the way they are made. So do Philippine ones. I ordered enough for 6 in a Filipino restaurant in Dubai.
  • Learn how many dishes to order – the size of the portions.  In Europe: Starter – main course -desert – cheese.  (except in France where the cheese comes before the dessert).  In Spain they have Pinxos, tapas, Media Raciones, Raciones and that’s just for the starters or instead of a main course.  In Britain Spaghetti Bolognese is considered a main course, in Italy it isn’t. It’s what you eat before the main course. In Italy, as a guest I requested a second plate of  delicious home-made pasta, then had to eat two more main courses to not insult the chef.
  • Learn who you might or might not meet.  I was privileged to be invited to the home of one of my Pakistani clients.  While I never identified what the food was, it was delicious,. The chef, who was his wife, I never met because that is the custom.
  • Understand Cutlery. Some people eat with their right hand. Learn how to do it as you may not get an option.  Some people, likewise, eat with Chopsticks. Learn how to do it.  In Spain and Italy you get one knife and fork no matter how many courses (I went to an Italian dinner with 14 courses – I ate all of the first 7, some of the next three then fell asleep). In UK you get an array of cutlery learn what to use.  And use the fork in the left hand to put food in the mouth, Americans use a fork in the left hand to cut the food and then transfer the fork to the right hand to eat.

Just a few of the things to consider on the way to becoming interculturally competent while eating. Read more here

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

In conjunction with Professional Speakers Association (Spain) , SCT’s David Rigby will be present at the TEDx Marbella Spain event on June 9 focussing on Entrepreneurs

Written by David Rigby © 2023 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Being Confident, coaching, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Mentoring, Mindset, People Development, Personal Development, Training, Wellbeing Tagged With: clowninng, feeling, humour, innerclown, intuitive, keeping tradition, laughter, logical, performing, psychological safety, Smart Coaching & Training, thinking

15/09/2023 By David Rigby

A journey onto and across the bridge of consciousness

A journey onto and across the bridge of consciousness

Save the date: this Thursday 21 September 2023 FREE event

Supporting the evolution of the individuals and teams through their journeys of expanded awareness and challenge – A journey onto and across the bridge of consciousness.

Life is often a “leap of faith” when undergoing stages of significant life changing transition — loss, birth, the responsibilities of parenthood, a career change — while sometimes we are confronted with circumstances way beyond our control or understanding of why they are happening to us.

In these moments, we grapple with profound questions:

  • What and Why are all these situations happening?
  • Why are the strategies that once served me no longer working?
  • What have I done wrong to deserve this?
  • Who am I really? Do I actually have a purpose?
  • Which path should I tread?

Often, faced with the above people continue forward without really addressing the questions, slipping back into autopilot. They lose connection to their core self, staying too connected to the familiarity of the ego and lower self; sometimes, this leads to depression, anxiety, or burnout.

Coaching aims to work with individuals and teams as coachees to help support them walk “their path less travelled” (Their unique journey) by trying to identify where the coachee is positioned and operating from on the consciousness bridge of the Soul, between the mundane 3rd dimensional ego world on one side of the bridge through to the higher spiritual dimensions of the Spirit on the far side. The step we need make is the next one on the path, but where am I? In our upcoming webinar, three coaches from diverse fields and working with different stages on the bridge will share their personal stories — starting with Leadership Coach Dr. Pari Namazie, Psychosynthesis Counsellor and Coach Sheona Della-Fort and Wizard, Corporate Alchemist and Practical Mystic Malcolm Lewis; all expertly moderated by Founder of Smart Coaching & Training David Rigby

They will try to reveal how they redefined their purpose as a result of spiritual experiences, overcame their own unique challenges and pay this forward to the people and communities they encounter.

They will share:

  • What transitions did they go through?
  • What was their learning?
  • What role did Presence and Spirit Based Coaching play for them?
  • How do they support others in their journey?

Join us as we explore the transformative potential of Presence and Spirit Based Coaching (PSBC), learn from the experiences of these remarkable coaches, and embark on a journey towards integrating body, mind, and spirit, and reconnecting with your inner wisdom.

The Power of Presence and Spirit Based Coaching WEBINAR 21 September 2023

Join Smart Coaching & Training’s Presence and Spirit Based Coaches Dr Pari Namazie, Malcolm Lewis and Sheona Della-Fort on 21 September 15:00-15.45 CEST (14:00 to 14:45 BST)(17:00 to 17:45 GST) to hear how they guide individuals through a transformative process of self-exploration and personal growth. They employ a unique and holistic approach that emphasizes the integration of body, mind, spirit, and soul to help their clients tap into their fullest potential. Book your place for this FREE event via eventbrite link here.

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

Written by David Rigby © 2023 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: coaching, Mentoring, People Development, Personal Development Tagged With: feeling, intuitive, performing, power, presence coaching, psychological safety, Smart Coaching & Training, spiritual coaching, thinking

23/08/2023 By David Rigby

Facing the Big Questions in Life

Facing the Big Questions in Life

Save the date Thursday 21 September 2023

At some point in our lives, there comes a time when we seek a deeper sense of spirituality. We face major challenges, experience setbacks, reach a crossroads — and we yearn for something more.

Perhaps we are undergoing a significant life transition — loss, birth, the responsibilities of parenthood, a career change — or maybe we find ourselves confronted with circumstances beyond our control.

In these moments, we grapple with profound questions:

  • Why is this happening?
  • Why do the strategies that once served me no longer suffice?
  • Why me?
  • Who am I? What is my purpose? What path should I tread?

Often, people continue forward without addressing these questions, slipping into autopilot mode. They lose connection to their core, sometimes they stay too connected to their ego. Sometimes, this leads to depression, anxiety, or burnout.

It is only when we pause and question the turmoils within that we open the door to self-discovery and raise our levels of consciousness. It is not an easy journey, but it can be a rewarding one. Through every transition there is a period of discomfort, but coming out the other side, there is awareness, surrender and peace.

In an upcoming webinar, three coaches from diverse fields — Leadership Coach Dr. Pari Namazie, Wizard and Corporate Alchemist Malcolm Lewis, Psychosynthesis Counselor and Coach Sheona Della-Fort, and moderated by Founder of Smart Coaching & Training David Rigby — will share their personal stories. They will reveal how they redefined their purpose, overcame their own unique challenges and pay this forward to the people and communities they encounter.

They will share:

  • What transitions did they go through?
  • What was their learning?
  • What role did Presence and Spirit Based Coaching play for them?
  • How do they support others in their journey?

Join us as we explore the transformative potential of Presence and Spirit Based Coaching, learn from the experiences of these remarkable coaches, and embark on a journey towards integrating body, mind, and spirit, and reconnecting with your inner wisdom.

The Power of Presence and Spirit Based Coaching WEBINAR 21 September 2023

Join Smart Coaching & Training’s Presence and Spirit Based Coaches Dr Pari Namazie, Malcolm Lewis and Sheona Della-Fort on 21 September 15:00-15.45 CEST (14:00 to 14:45 BST)(17:00 to 17:45 GST) to hear how they guide individuals through a transformative process of self-exploration and personal growth. They employ a unique and holistic approach that emphasizes the integration of body, mind, spirit, and soul to help their clients tap into their fullest potential. Book your place via eventbrite link here.

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

Written by David Rigby © 2023 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: coaching, Mentoring, People Development, Personal Development Tagged With: feeling, intuitive, performing, power, presence coaching, psychological safety, Smart Coaching & Training, spiritual coaching, thinking

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