Soft Skills Archives - Smart Coaching and Training | Business Support, Consultancy, Mentoring

26/01/2024 By David Rigby

What the butler saw

Executive Assistants and Work Ethic

I have just finished listening to The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro. In it, the protagonist Stevens, a butler, reviews his life. By putting his duty to his boss above all else he fails to support his father and wrecks the opportunity for a relationship – indeed doesn’t even recognise it. He was privy to many meetings held by his boss, significantly about the treaties after the first world war and meetings with the Germans immediately before the second world war. Never questioning the wisdom of his boss he wonders how his responsibility for the provision of the perfect cup of tea helps with the meetings .

How relevant is this for today?

An Executive Assistant appears to be similar to the role of Butler. Making sure that everything runs smoothy. Recent articles have asked whether the EA should be on the board? To me, lets say at a meeting, it depends on whether the EA is in part responsible for the outcome of the meeting. Providing input and opinion as well as ensuring the smooth running behind the scenes as it were are different responsibilities and different roles . And it depends whether the EA is paid for those different responsibilities,

*1975 show of Joe Orton’s 1967 play What the butler sa*w

The Work Ethic

Working 72 hours per week not only ensures you are not working at your most effective at work but it can completely remove any hope of a personal life. During a coaching session for a client, we had developed a strategy for his career, and I asked what his personal goals were. He replied- to find a partner, get married etc. There was no space in his life to even build a strategy to find a partner let alone execute it. It took him ten years to find a partner.

Perfectionism and Delegation

The butler believed his standards were the only ones, and was incapable of delegation of responsibility. Complete failure to recognise what is ‘good enough’, and that there are other ways of doing the job. The ‘extra mile’ is fine every once in a while.

*The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro : the book, the film, the audio book*

Getting the coffee

It was the butler’s role to provide the tea (and maybe coffee) . These days the first half hour of a meeting can be: going around the room, taking coffee orders, someone leaves the meeting to go to Star*ucks (and therefore does not participate during that time), then there is this skill of each participant trying to remember what they ordered. A butler could arrange this, but an Executive Assistant with responsibilities couldn’t because they need to be present. (Personally, as I am in Spain I would insist on a proper coffee from a local café , thereby extending the ‘coffee’ process).

The Remains of the day

In the novel, this refers to how much of your life is left, and the things you might regret

Spending too long at the office
Not building up connections and lifelong friendships nothing to do with work
Not getting a life or even organising a life
Not getting too many responsibilities and if you do, making sure you are paid
Not finding space to reflect, learning new stuff, changing your strategy.

Gen x/z and the 35 hour week

My Mother always said that if you can’t do your job in 35 hours a week then you are incompetent or in the wrong job . The butler’s only life was his work.

It used to be: you clocked off your work after 8 hours and clocked back in the next day. Technology, flexible working and working from home meant being always available, a slave to your job. So welcome back the 35 hour week and not being always available. And eat the remains of your dinner while it still hot and have a proper Spanish two hour lunch break

It’s your misguided choice to work 72 hours a week, therefore doing someone else out of a job as well as wrecking your own life, . Just don’t expect others to do so. And remember this lifestyle is YOUR CHOICE. Smart Coaching & Training’s coaches can help you get a balanced life .

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

“What the butler saw” is also a play by Joe Orton

01/03/2022 By Ian Gibbs

Why I’m passionate about PLS

I wasn’t the ‘brightest’ of kids at school. I was good at Art. I could keep my head above water with Maths and Science. But everything else was pretty grim and I wasn’t happy about it.

Given that my home was at the bottom of the valley and my school at the top, it’s fair to say that my educational progress was an uphill struggle every day.

Focus on what you are good at

But in spite of my academic failings, I was persuaded, for better or worse, to drop Art and continue Maths and Science at ‘A’ level, a decision helped by the fact that Close Encounters and Star Wars came out that year and the idea of working for NASA seemed like a dream worth pursuing. And that’s when something remarkable happened. I suddenly became intelligent. All those numbers, formulas and laws started to click into place. I started to get it. My capability for learning grew.

Swimming pool full of mud

My confidence grew with it so much I practically ran up that hill each day. I left school with grades good enough to get into St. Andrews (the 3rd top university at the time) to study Astrophysics. I started university with the confidence of someone who was going to devour astrophysics and graduate with a glorious first class honours.

Unfortunately it was not to be. My newfound intelligence disappeared in first term. I went through university like Usain Bolt trying to sprint through a swimming pool full of mud. It was incredibly tough and I felt I had to study twice as hard just to keep up with everyone else. I did get my degree but not what I felt reflected my efforts.

The remarkable point of this story though, isn’t about the change of my academic abilities. The remarkable point is that nobody, not my teachers, not my parents, not even myself asked the question why? Why was I intelligent during ‘A’ levels and why not before or after?’. In fact it was only 30 years later on that it occurred to me to finally ask and answer it.

Are You Intelligent or do you just have a good teacher?

The answer was to do with something that few in education talk about.

When someone does well in a subject, we either justify it by saying they have a good teacher (school, coach etc) or they’re intelligent (bright, talented etc). Few people consider the third option: their learning techniques. Or in other words the way they learn – the strategy they use to combine the resources at their disposal to learn in a way that suits them. When done correctly, a Personal Learning Strategy can make a world of difference. Yet it too often gets overlooked.

And this is a pity because whereas we can’t genetically modify our intelligence or feasibly change teachers, we can easily change our learning techniques. During A levels I inadvertently stumbled across some great learning techniques. But because I didn’t recognise them for what they were I failed to maintain them through university and thus my university studies were much more of a struggle than they needed to be. I could have sailed through my degree, but I didn’t.

This missed opportunity has left me feeling frustrated, partly for my disappointing grades, but mostly for all other students, young or not so young, who could be reaching their potential if only they knew how to put together the techniques which suit them best. Trying to change this by raising awareness of the options we have and how to develop our own personal learning strategies to become better more quickly at whatever we choose has become my driving force.

When I see the difference it can produce, it makes me feel that getting out of bed each day is worth it. It makes them feel good and it makes me feel good, too.

That is why I’m passionate about personal learning strategies.

Still Not Convinced You need to learn how to learn?

At Smart Coaching & Training we coach and mentor according to client’s need, matching the client to appropriate associate including location and language.

17 associates; 4 continents; 8 languages.

06/01/2022 By Jessica Breitenfeld

Sell Yourself Authentically

How Can You Sell Yourself Authentically within the First Five Seconds of Your Video?

Potential clients want to know quickly if you are a good fit for their needs, so you need an emotional hook to keep them listening. In the coaching industry you are your product; you need to know your strengths, what your ideal client wants and be engaging enough to get them interested in listening to your video, hiring you and recommending you.

Grab Their Attention

Your first sentence must show that you understand your clients. Start with a fascinating fact or a surprising statistic, mention their problem, offer a solution, ask a question or hint at a story.

People hire coaches based on a feeling much more than on certificates or qualifications. They need to be vulnerable with you in their process and if they don’t like or trust you they will not progress. So, the big questions is: How do you get people to like and trust you in a short amount of time?

*Jessica Breitenfeld Smart Coaching & Training Associate*

*Feedback from Jessica’s remote training in Saudi Arabia for SCT*

Building Trust Has a Formula

Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy = Trustworthiness

As a Gestalt therapist, I have seen many situations where women have put up a wall to protect themselves from getting hurt emotionally. Yet this same wall keeps intimacy, love and deep relationships on the outside knocking to get in. The door cannot open without intimacy, honesty and being oneself. I have come to understand that the best way for you to be yourself is to be brave. How2BeYou was founded with the vision of helping women get their ideas heard. To do that, you need to have the confidence to be yourself in three areas.

Understanding what you offer gives you credibility. Once you become confident in who you are and what you are offering, getting your ideal client is easier online than it is at your local networking event. You don’t need seven billion clients; you need people who like you, relate to you and trust you to help them with their goals.

Building reliability comes from repeated exposure. One example is building a Facebook group. It’s easier and more comfortable to sell to your community than it is to your family and friends. You could give a workshop to build your YouTube library. People need to see you seven times before they buy from you, so video is the cheapest, easiest way to gain clients´ trust.

Intimacy is developed through being authentic.You have strengths and weaknesses and you are unique. What is it about you that your ideal client will relate to? Once you can show them that you have overcome the problem they are facing they will trust you and want to work with you.

Three tips on how to be visible and comfortable on camera:

Always be clear and know your audience so you know what to talk about.
Focus your topics on their pain points and their outcomes.
Have a solid structure that offers tips and a call to action.

Are You Ready to Really Connect with Your People?

I know you want to do it. It can be scary, but ultimately, it is the play button to success. Your business has the potential to take off when you use video content properly. Once you step outside your comfort zone, your comfort in that zone grows and naturally your confidence grows! When potential clients see you putting yourself out there, being you in all your “you-ness” they come to trust you.

Remember, you are your brand. You are selling a transformation that comes from working with you and only you. Being open and sharing more of yourself helps build credibility and authority in your specialty. It shows who you are and: the expert- having overcome the thing they are struggling with. Allow your personality to radiate through your videos, creating connections as you go.

Still Not Convinced You Are Ready?

Are you worried about that mean girl from high school commenting on your video?

There are three typical problems that were stopping my clients from making videos to get clients:

Imposter syndrome.
Uncertain about how to structure content.
Uncomfortable on camera with no real faces to connect to.

I felt like old friends might challenge me on who I grew into. How could I claim to be a motivational speaker? I used my techniques on myself. I overcame my imposter syndrome by applying the legendary LAB approach to my fears. I heard my doubts floating in my head, then trained myself to speak. I took courses, gave more than 50 workshops on Zoom this year, won contests in Europe and ta-da—the confidence and authority which I now have comes from being voted Best Speaker in Barcelona and second Best Speaker in the Professional Speakers Association London, UK. Having trained professionals like you for thousands of hours on five continents, I can confidently claim that I can get you heard on camera, in your relationships and in your career. I’m looking forward to hearing your ideas!

At Smart Coaching & Training we coach and mentor according to client’s need, matching the client to appropriate associate including location and language.

17 associates; 4 continents; 8 languages.

This article was originally published in Metropolitan Barcelona

18/03/2021 By David Rigby & Martin Kubler

How COVID brought us closer together

Hello? Can you hear me? I’m sorry if I’m sounding a bit far away, but I’m currently hanging out with a group of hospitality professionals in Yorkshire while I’m in Dubai. Or was it Stockholm? Or possibly Accra?

There’s little doubt that COVID has wreaked havoc on our industry worldwide. Furloughs in the UK, lockdowns everywhere, limited (if any!) in-outlet dining, cancelled cruises – you name it. I’m not known for laughing challenging trading conditions in the face and shouting “Hey, but look at the bright side!”, but I readily admit that the pandemic has also brought certain positive changes to our industry – the most important one, in my opinion, being that we’ve come closer together.

It didn’t matter where you were

I’ve spend the last 16 years as an expat in various locations that didn’t have an Institute of Hospitality branch and I got used to looking at pictures of meetings, networking events, and celebrations that the Institute and their branches have put on over the years with varying degrees of envy. Then the pandemic hit, everything moved online and suddenly, it didn’t matter anymore where I was based – I could be anywhere.

The Institute of Hospitality’s virtual Thursday Coffee and Conversation mornings provided a first taste of our newfound freedom. Members joined from all over the world and exchanged updates or just engaged in light-hearted conversation to find a few minutes of distraction from the latest lockdown news.

People started to cooperate and collaborate… new platforms such as www.backtowork.support were born based on our conversations. New ways of presenting and distributing industry news and expertise like the fantastic Hospitality Recovery on LinkedIn Live were tested. If you fancied it and had the time (and, let’s face it, time was something most of us had in abundance during the various lockdowns), you could attend virtual branch meetings and networking events from the comfort of your armchair. One branch even put on a pub-style quiz.

Bringing people closer together

The pandemic has brought us closer together and that’s a good thing. The key, going forward, is to keep the momentum and not let things revert to silos again. The Institute and its members have an important role to play in the process, because we’ve been here, done that, and got the tea cup – in other words, we’ve successfully demonstrated how large international organisations can use technology to bring people closer together, ensure information and expertise flows freely, and collaborations between individual professionals create new opportunities, ventures, and projects

Remember Face to Face?

Don’t get me wrong, now that I’m based in Europe again, I do want to attend one of the Institute’s annual Fellows’ Dinners. It’ll be my first one and I’m sure will be very enjoyable. The goal isn’t to move everything online – there’s much to be said for face-to-face interactions and good old black-tie jollifications. The goal really should be to use technology in the way, I think, it is meant to be used… to bring people together and to make things more inclusive and, very often, faster.

*Cats are for baskets not Zoom calls ©* *David Rigby*

The latter is, in my opinion, a key point. Teams can now meet at the click of a button, regardless of where the various team-members are. You don’t need to take minutes anymore, because you can record things – great for people who aren’t totally fluent in English. Right now, I’m involved in a project that brings together professionals from Russia, the Middle East, and Europe. We communicate in English, but some of us find it very beneficial to be able to watch the recordings of our meetings again, just to make sure they understood everything correctly. You can’t rewind a face-to-face meeting, but you can rewind a Zoom meeting.

I hope some of what we’ve learned during the pandemic stays with us even in post-COVID times. The coffee mornings, for example, shouldn’t stop just because we’re all able to meet again IRL, in real life. How else could I find out how Robert’s hotel in Ghana is doing or what’s going on in the Scottish highlands and islands? Quite apart from being able to see the various members’ coffee and tea cups (someone used a massive Homer Simpson cup in today’s call!) and pets (last week I was in a Zoom meeting and a team-member’s cat blocked the screen for a good 5 minutes).
Walking into a face-to-face meeting later in 2021 or 2022 is bound to be like “Oh, I know, you’re the chap with the Homer Simpson cup!” or “What do you mean, you didn’t bring your cat?”.

A version of this article was first published by the Institute of Hospitality

25/04/2017 By Isla Baliszewska

What is Business English?

Where does it come from? What’s it for? What makes it different from non-business English? Ways of communicating both verbal and written have developed over centuries, but the protocols have never changed faster than now. We need to be adequately equipped with the relevant knowledge and understanding of the business that we represent to adapt to its culture, customs, norms, and practices. Who we are and what we do will be clearly reflected in our oral and written interactions.

As the photo of the Electric Vehicle Road Trip in UAE shows – the world is fast changing and many will be left behind. And even legal practices need to balance between the future and the precedent.

Business communication is not just about writing letters

While it is important, it is but a small part of doing business. Of course you need to be able to write business correspondence, whether letters, emails or texts.

Communication also embraces the world of oral business communication, be that face-to-face, phone or social media. Networking gives opportunities only if you know how to behave, engage people and negotiate. Building rapport and improving communication are key ways of getting and retaining business, and are different when dealing with British, American, or other genres where English is used.

One size does not fit all

As with all communication it’s not just following the learnt routine – you need to know your audience and tailor your communication to them. One man’s business English is another man’s flippant communication by a young upstart not showing respect to his elders. Or some boring long winded diatribe for those brought up on instant messaging. The conflict between story telling and the inverted triangle means you have to consciously chose the approach to take. Regardless of ethnicity, age, race or sex some people are more emotional, others more logical, some need lots of detail, some insist on hardly any.

As customers rightly expect omnichannel rather than multichannel it is a skill to balance between the curt and the long-winded. British English and American English have the same words which mean different things (some very rude). Indian English has a different vocabulary too. See the typical reaction when a Brit is told ‘I will revert back to you’. Different cultures read differences nuances in identical sentences.

You might expect that ‘legal’ English is the same throughout the world. There is no international standard of easily understood terms. And the balance between being ‘legal’ and ‘understood’ is harder than ever.

This is why you need to work towards building rapport to create a lasting impact through your interactions, presentations, negotiations, meetings, networking, socialising, listening, speaking, writing and reading. Getting the protocol of correcting mistakes and holistic communication in the global marketplace is essential to succeed in the business arena and the wider economy.

For more information contact David Rigby on [email protected].

Executive Assistants and Work Ethic

How relevant is this for today?

The Work Ethic

Perfectionism and Delegation

Getting the coffee

The Remains of the day

Gen x/z and the 35 hour week

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

Focus on what you are good at

Swimming pool full of mud

Are You Intelligent or do you just have a good teacher?

Still Not Convinced You need to learn how to learn?

At Smart Coaching & Training we coach and mentor according to client’s need, matching the client to appropriate associate including location and language.

17 associates; 4 continents; 8 languages.

How Can You Sell Yourself Authentically within the First Five Seconds of Your Video?

Grab Their Attention

Building Trust Has a Formula

Are You Ready to Really Connect with Your People?

Still Not Convinced You Are Ready?

At Smart Coaching & Training we coach and mentor according to client’s need, matching the client to appropriate associate including location and language.

17 associates; 4 continents; 8 languages.

Hello? Can you hear me? I’m sorry if I’m sounding a bit far away, but I’m currently hanging out with a group of hospitality professionals in Yorkshire while I’m in Dubai. Or was it Stockholm? Or possibly Accra?

It didn’t matter where you were

Bringing people closer together

Remember Face to Face?

What is Business English?

Business communication is not just about writing letters

One size does not fit all

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