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26/01/2024 By David Rigby

What the butler saw

What the butler saw

Executive Assistants and Work Ethic

I have just finished listening to The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro. In it, the protagonist Stevens, a butler, reviews his life. By putting his duty to his boss above all else he fails to support his father and wrecks the opportunity for a relationship – indeed doesn’t even recognise it. He was privy to many meetings held by his boss, significantly about the treaties after the first world war and meetings with the Germans immediately before the second world war. Never questioning the wisdom of his boss he wonders how his responsibility for the provision of the perfect cup of tea helps with the meetings .

How relevant is this for today?

An Executive Assistant appears to be similar to the role of Butler. Making sure that everything runs smoothy. Recent articles have asked whether the EA should be on the board? To me, lets say at a meeting, it depends on whether the EA is in part responsible for the outcome of the meeting. Providing input and opinion as well as ensuring the smooth running behind the scenes as it were are different responsibilities and different roles . And it depends whether the EA is paid for those different responsibilities,

1975 show of Joe Orton’s 1967 play What the butler saw

The Work Ethic

Working 72 hours per week not only ensures you are not working at your most effective at work but it can completely remove any hope of a personal life. During a coaching session for a client, we had developed a strategy for his career, and I asked what his personal goals were. He replied- to find a partner, get married etc. There was no space in his life to even build a strategy to find a partner let alone execute it. It took him ten years to find a partner.

Perfectionism and Delegation

The butler believed his standards were the only ones, and was incapable of delegation of responsibility. Complete failure to recognise what is ‘good enough’, and that there are other ways of doing the job. The ‘extra mile’ is fine every once in a while.

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro : the book, the film, the audio book

Getting the coffee

It was the butler’s role to provide the tea (and maybe coffee) . These days the first half hour of a meeting can be: going around the room, taking coffee orders, someone leaves the meeting to go to Star*ucks  (and therefore does not participate during that time), then there is this skill of each participant trying to remember what they ordered.  A butler could arrange this, but an Executive Assistant with responsibilities couldn’t because they need to be present. (Personally, as I am in Spain I would insist on a proper coffee from a local café , thereby extending the ‘coffee’ process).

The Remains of the day

In the novel, this refers to how much of your life is left, and the things you might regret

  • Spending too long at the office
  • Not building up connections and lifelong friendships nothing to do with work
  • Not getting a life or even organising a life
  • Not getting too many responsibilities and if you do, making sure you are paid
  • Not finding space to reflect, learning new stuff, changing your strategy.

Gen x/z and the 35 hour week

My Mother always said that if you can’t do your job in 35 hours a week then you are incompetent or in the wrong job .  The butler’s only life was his work.

It used to be: you clocked off your work after 8 hours and clocked back in the next day.  Technology, flexible working and working from home meant being always available, a slave to your job.  So welcome back the 35 hour week and not being always available. And eat the remains of your dinner while it still hot and have a proper Spanish two hour lunch break

It’s your misguided choice to work 72 hours a week, therefore doing someone else out of a job as well as wrecking your own life, . Just don’t expect others to do so. And remember this lifestyle is YOUR CHOICE. Smart Coaching & Training’s coaches can help you get a balanced life .

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

“What the butler saw” is also a play by Joe Orton

Written by David Rigby © 2024 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Authoritarianism, Being Confident, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, hospitality, leadership, Mindset, Mother, New year's resolutions, Personal Development, Presence, Soft Skills, Wellbeing, You and Your Career Tagged With: Executive Assistance, intuitive, keeping tradition, laughter, performing, Smart Coaching & Training, The Remains of the day

11/01/2024 By David Rigby

Enjoying Interculturality

Enjoying Interculturality

Being fully present in multiple cultures simultaneously

Many people find intercultural encounters scary as they are frightened of doing or saying the wrong thing. Gaining experience of different cultures and people can help with your confidence. Knowing your own culture – its benefits and pitfalls – is essential. Being aware of the cultural behaviours of the other cultures you maybe encountering is also useful.

The Christmas period

I live in Spain. During the Christmas period (and for me that’s what it’s called) I had the pleasure of seeing my Argentinean friends and experiencing again how they celebrate Noche Buena (Christmas Eve) with lots of meat well into the night. My guests of the period were my former lodger from Antigua and his mother.  I took them for a very British Traditional Christmas lunch on the seafront at Benidorm where it was warm enough to sit outside.

Hombre G 40th anniversary intergenerational concert

The in-between Period

On the 28th I was fortunate to be invited to a rock concert in a stadium in Madrid. The 40th anniversary concert of the Spanish Band “Hombres G”. Witnessing how middle aged Spanish (therefore Intercultural and Intergenerational) behave: standing up for 2.5 hours singing all the words.

New year Period

Noche Vieja (New years eve) was spent with a traditional Spanish dinner. The next few days were spent in Madrid with one of my best friends from Dubai. We had great fun trying (and succeeding) to find Pork-free and Alcohol-free food on Spanish Menus. Fortunately as part of my personal intercultural training I know my way very well around Spanish Menus. Fortunately also, my other friends and I didn’t feel the need to exclude ourselves from indulging in both, indeed we were encouraged.

Roscon for Reyes,, typical Spanish food, Indian food in Spain, British Christmas lunch

The Reyes (three kings) period

On the night of the 5th of January the Spanish leave a shoe by the Christmas tree in the hope of receiving gifts from The Three Kings. This is why the sales in Spain start January 7 rather than December 26 in UK. There is a traditional cake called a Roscon which is a sweet bread-based ring-shaped dessert which is eaten on January 6th. So we had to abandon eating the British Mince Pies with Brandy Butter for two days to focus on the Roscon. It was great to experience Spanish Epiphany Mass in a village church.

Celebrating Interculturality

None of this would have been possible without the effort made to know people from different cultures, and understand their cultures and also introduce them to mine.
I had a great time because I knew what I was doing, was proud of my own culture and took the time to learn about others. Rather than taking the safe middle ground for fear of upsetting, this was enjoying one’s own and other traditions to the full. You can also do this . Read more here

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

Written by David Rigby © 2024 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Being Confident, Emotional Intelligence, hospitality, leadership, Mindset, New year's resolutions, Personal Development, Wellbeing Tagged With: Christmas, intuitive, keeping tradition, laughter, NewYearsEve, Noche Bueno, performing, Reyes, Smart Coaching & Training

28/10/2023 By David Rigby

Getting your fill of Interculturality

Getting your fill of Interculturality

Food and Interculturality.

Last week I thought I would go for some foreign food – so I found a cultural ghetto and chose some typical food of the ghetto. It always helps to be familiar with local ghetto food.

Mushy Peas ?

So I chose Fish & Chips with Mushy Peas accompanied by Tea with Milk. Where was I? Benidorm, Spain inside the English ghetto. Potato Chips (French Fries) made from real potatoes without emulsifiers etc, And most British wouldn’t know what Mushy Peas is.

Ghetto Restaurants

Most places in the world have cultural or food ghettos. What do you do if you are invited to a ghetto restaurant by a client from that country, or indeed elsewhere?
Forget the “I know what I like, I like what I know “ brigade. Your client is entertaining you and it’s incumbent on you to know what you are ordering and to eat it.

Ghetto Food in Spain: Fish Chips Mushy Peas Tea

Two Choices

Local Spanish food eaten by the author in the last month – you can’t order unless you know its name

You have two choices – either understand the menu and make your own choices or ask your host to choose. And in all cases take into account you or your host’s religious restrictions. Whatever you receive you better know the custom and eat all of it to show appreciation or leave a little or the host will order more on your behalf.

Building Intercultural Relationships through food

This is how good relationships are formed. And that can lead to business.  So what can you do to make this a success ?

  • Learn to understand the menus. This is crucial.  Spanish dishes have names from which you cannot tell the ingredients nor the way they are made. So do Philippine ones. I ordered enough for 6 in a Filipino restaurant in Dubai.
  • Learn how many dishes to order – the size of the portions.  In Europe: Starter – main course -desert – cheese.  (except in France where the cheese comes before the dessert).  In Spain they have Pinxos, tapas, Media Raciones, Raciones and that’s just for the starters or instead of a main course.  In Britain Spaghetti Bolognese is considered a main course, in Italy it isn’t. It’s what you eat before the main course. In Italy, as a guest I requested a second plate of  delicious home-made pasta, then had to eat two more main courses to not insult the chef.
  • Learn who you might or might not meet.  I was privileged to be invited to the home of one of my Pakistani clients.  While I never identified what the food was, it was delicious,. The chef, who was his wife, I never met because that is the custom.
  • Understand Cutlery. Some people eat with their right hand. Learn how to do it as you may not get an option.  Some people, likewise, eat with Chopsticks. Learn how to do it.  In Spain and Italy you get one knife and fork no matter how many courses (I went to an Italian dinner with 14 courses – I ate all of the first 7, some of the next three then fell asleep). In UK you get an array of cutlery learn what to use.  And use the fork in the left hand to put food in the mouth, Americans use a fork in the left hand to cut the food and then transfer the fork to the right hand to eat.

Just a few of the things to consider on the way to becoming interculturally competent while eating. Read more here

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

In conjunction with Professional Speakers Association (Spain) , SCT’s David Rigby will be present at the TEDx Marbella Spain event on June 9 focussing on Entrepreneurs

Written by David Rigby © 2023 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Being Confident, coaching, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Mentoring, Mindset, People Development, Personal Development, Training, Wellbeing Tagged With: clowninng, feeling, humour, innerclown, intuitive, keeping tradition, laughter, logical, performing, psychological safety, Smart Coaching & Training, thinking

31/07/2023 By David Rigby

Wake up and smell the coffee

Wake up and smell the coffee

by David Rigby

Introduction for Diversity Success WEBINAR Thursday 14 September 2023

Dorleta Gonzalez will interview SCT MD David Rigby to discuss diversity success in a webinar on Thursday 14th September – Book your place via Eventbrite here

“Wake up and smell the coffee” is a favourite expression of my favourite estate agent. This message therefore is aimed at the 50% who work with feelings over facts, or who are emotional rather than logical. Logically this message has no effect on those 50% of the population unimpressed by the call to emotion.

Then he is assuming that everyone loves the smell of coffee which they don’t. So, he is alienating more people than he is impressing with his message. It’s the same with selling cars – imagine xxx does not impress 50% of the potential buyers. On the other hand , of those logical ones, 50% don’t do detailed facts either. So bombarding people with detailed facts may impress just 25% of your target customers.

If all your team thinks the same as you, then the likelihood is you will target the 25% of your potential market. Your team might tick all the boxes regarding race, sex, age, sexuality, religion etc but if you all think the same way you are missing out on maybe 75% of sales.

It is a recognised fact that diverse teams get better results, but only if the team is properly diverse and the individuals properly belong. A board full of the male pale and stale and the token woman only deals with ‘women’s issues’ is not a diverse board. If the male, pale and stale think differently then they may be a more diverse board than if it’s made up of a people which are “technically” diverse. And the same goes for your teams.

Recruiting a team or board which is cognitively diverse is the best chance of success. How would you know? By using profiling tools to assess your current team and the kind of persons you would want to complete your team or board. We recommend using colour profiling assessments and team wheels. For more information look at this page

Diversity and Success WEBINAR 14 September 2023

Join our Smart Coaching & Training’s MD David Rigby on 14 September 17.30- 18.15 CEST (16.30 to 1815 BST)(19.30 to 20.15 GST) being interviewed by Dorleta Gonzalez about how using colour profiling and team wheels to develop a team or Board which is truly diverse – that is cognitively diverse. Book your place via eventbrite link here.

Read about Diversity here and about Profiing here

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

Written by David Rigby © 2023 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: coaching, Mentoring, People Development, Personal Development Tagged With: clowninng, diversity, feeling, humour, innerclown, intuitive, keeping tradition, laughter, logical, performing, profiling, psychological safety, Smart Coaching & Training, thinking

28/06/2023 By David Rigby

Presence and Spirit based Coaching

Presence and Spirit based Coaching

by Smart Coaching & Training’s Pari Namazie, with Sheona Della-Fort and Malcolm Lewis

Background reading for Presence and Spirit Based Coaching WEBINAR Thursday 21 September 2023

This is article is written by associates Pari Namazie, Sheona Della-Fort, Malcolm Lewis with help from Chat-GPT The topics in this article will be discussed in a webinar on 21st September – Book your place via Eventbrite here

In the chaos of modern life, we often find ourselves longing for a deeper connection to our true selves and seeking guidance to navigate the challenges that come our way.
In a world characterized by constant distractions and disconnection, the practice of cultivating presence is more crucial than ever. Presence and Spirit Based (PSB) Coaching encourages individuals to be fully present in the moment of NOW, engaging their senses (5 Senses) and emotions as well as tapping into their 6th sense of deep intuition. By deepening awareness of the body, tuning into the wisdom of the higher mind, nurturing the Spirit of the Higher Self, and honoring the essence and development of the Soul, individuals can access deeper and more profound insights, clarity, and purpose. PSB coaching provides the tools and practices to navigate uncertainty, manage stress, and find resilience amidst challenges. By fostering a deeper connection to ourselves and the world around us, it empowers individuals to lead with compassion, purpose, and authenticity, ultimately creating a more care for Humanity.
In addition to working with the mind, body and emotions, PSB Coaches fully acknowledge the spiritual and soulful aspects of human existence, not just the psychological and practical factors in our world. Spirit and Spirituality, in this context, doesn’t necessarily refer to religious beliefs but rather to a sense of connection to something much larger than ourselves. It involves exploring our values, our purpose, and the deeper meaning of our lives coupled with exploring the unconscious parts of ourselves and the collective, which restrict our coming fully back into wholeness.
PSB Coaches create a safe and supportive space for individuals to explore these dimensions of themselves. They help clients uncover limiting beliefs, clarify their values, and align their actions with their authentic higher versions of themselves. By integrating body, mind, spirit, and developing their soul, clients can experience profound personal growth, increased self-awareness, and a deeper sense of fulfillment.
We come to coaching to explore our potential, unravel limiting beliefs, and create meaningful change. PSB Coaching offers a safe and nurturing space where you can be seen, heard, and supported, as well as Witnessed, as you follow your personal inner and outer journey. It recognises that true transformation requires a (w)holistic approach that honors every aspect of our being. Through skillful guidance and mindful practices, the approach enables you to tap into your inner wisdom, individuality and personality , align with your desired values, and cultivate a greater sense of authenticity and fulfillment.

Presence and Spirit Based Coaching WEBINAR 21 September 2023


Join our Presence and Spirit Based Coaches and Smart Coaching & Training Malcolm, Sheona and Pari on 21 September 15:00-15.45 CEST (14:00 to 14:45 BST)(17:00 to 17:45 GST) to hear how they guide individuals through a transformative process of self-exploration and personal growth. They employ a unique and holistic approach that emphasizes the integration of body, mind, spirit, and soul to help their clients tap into their fullest potential. Book your place via eventbrite link here.

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

Written by David Rigby © 2023 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: coaching, Mentoring, People Development, Personal Development Tagged With: clowninng, feeling, humour, innerclown, intuitive, keeping tradition, laughter, logical, performing, psychological safety, Smart Coaching & Training, thinking

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