Training & Coaching News from Smart Coaching Training

03/10/2020 By Eric Moore

The Age of Anxiety

“West Side Story” composer Leonard Bernstein’s Symphony No. 2 The Age of Anxiety was composed from 1948 to 1949 in the US and Israel. It is titled after W. H. Auden’s poem of the same name. Was 1949 the Age of Anxiety or is it now? Most of us have some form of anxiety in our lives and with the continued events of 2020 it is becoming more prevalent.

Our trainer Eric Moore. Ask about individual and group wellness at work coaching

Coping Mechanisms

To combat anxiety people will employ different coping mechanisms to help deal with their anxiety. These may include, exercise, going for a walk, listening to music, or some other form of distraction, though when it strikes these often fail, because the problem is neurological, so therefore to successfully cure anxiety the changes need to take place at the neurological level. Another mechanism many use is to try and avoid the situations that cause them to feel anxious or panic. This though prevents, change and growth. Another thing I often come across is hearing clients say “It happens to me – I don’t make it happen”. This mindset can unfortunately prevent the person from taking ownership of the problem.

Causes of Anxiety

Anxiety is caused by an over arousal of the autonomic nervous system, so someone will often get anxious before they even know it, and by the time this happens it’s too late. So they say “it’s not my fault since it happens automatically”. However they created it due to reacting to an external stimulus such as crowded spaces, social gatherings, giving a presentation. This can then generalise, so even the thought of it becomes enough to create the anxious state.

Fight or Flight

This triggers the fight or flight response in part of the brain called the amygdala and can cause a myriad of issues both psychologically and physiologically. Dry mouth, sweaty palms, palpitations, racing heartbeat and thoughts, tightness or pain in the chest to name a few.

Internal Dialogue

Taking responsibility and owning it is one of the steps to overcoming this debilitating issue towards recovery. Anxiety and panic is often a function of the internal dialogue and the images one creates in the mind. Intervening by changing the images and speed of what is said internally are key to becoming anxiety free. Now, depending on the type of anxiety there will be more activity in one hemisphere of the brain and another tool for change is to engage both hemispheres whilst thinking of the anxious state. If you are curious about to take back control and become anxiety free then join our workshop here on send us a message here.

Written by Eric Moore , Smart Coaching & Training Ltd.

23/04/2020 By David Rigby & Martin Kubler

I’ve never been to me

Becoming confident enough to be yourself

‘I’ve never been to me’ is a song by Charlene which went to No 1 in the UK charts in 1982. For many it is the worst Motown Number One ever, but is pertinent to the situation (COVID-19) we find ourselves in now.

The cheesy lyrics include the lines ‘I’ve been to Nice and the Isle of Greece… but I’ve never been to me’. It is about having to always be someone else and never being allowed to even find out who you are, let alone actually be that person.

Forward to late 2019, and many in the music industry, as in many other industries, are forced to subsume themselves into industry norms and accordingly standardise their personalities. Paradoxically the most successful have not done this. Good recent British examples have been Amy Winehouse and Adele who refused to follow the norms. An outstanding American example, even subject to a BBC Radio4 Profile, is the singer Lizzo – larger than life in every category, a phenomenal singer and performer who has no need of pitch correction in her performances.

Come 2020 and COVID-19, the requirement of the performers to be who they are and deliver has never been on show quite so much as the ‘One world’ show where performers such as Lady Gaga, Sam Smith and Andrea Bocelli, and many others sang together, each performing from their own home. No lavish productions or autocorrect to prop them up. And, of course, it is significant who is not performing and the conclusions we can all come to about their skills.

How does this affect us?

Many of us are now in lock down and the only places you can go are shops to buy food or pharmacies to pick up meds – the rest of the time, you are at home, either by yourself or with some version of immediate family.

It is the perfect time to discover who you really are – a great opportunity for self-examination, and if you don’t like the ’me’ you actually are, you can set about changing it.

Many are using this period as a great opportunity to organise themselves, deal with all the filing and position themselves for the future. And then see others, via Zoom, who are in a bad way, and cannot cope with the uncertainty.

Sphere of influence

The ‘sphere of influence’ model is useful here. Issues divide into three :

Inner circle: those issues you can deal with by yourself;
Outer circle: those issues you can deal with by collaborating with others;
Outside both circles: those issues which you absolutely have no influence over.

Many of the issues thrust upon us by COVID-19 are things we have no influence over, so the first step is STOP worrying about things you can do nothing about.

Divide the things you CAN do something about into three categories:

Things which are essential to your well-being which you can do on your own. (If you don’t look after yourself then you won’t be able to look after others);
Things which are essential to your well-being, which you need to ask or influence others to attain;
Things which are essential to others’ well-being which you can deliver to them (whether or not they have asked).

These can include:

Ensuring you eat enough healthy food to stay fit but not fat, with, if you want, exercise;
Keeping your distance when out and wearing a face mask to assuage the concerns of others;
Really learn to appreciate yourself and potentially change the characteristics you don’t like;
Keep in remote contact with others and support them when they need in the best way you can;
Decide what you will do when this is all over and prepare yourself for it.

And finally: examine the way you communicate with other people:

Do you understand them well enough to understand how they prefer contact?
Do they understand you well enough to understand how you prefer contact?.

Always assuming you understand yourself well enough to know your own preferences.

This downtime is the lifetime opportunity to discover who you really are and what you really need. The chance to ‘be to me’.

For further discussion and remote coaching, contact us here, or, for Europe info@smartcoachingtraining.com +44 3335660067 and for Middle East hello@spsaffinity.com +97156 652 5970. Take a C-me colour profile to better understand your communication preferences..

Written by David Rigby and Martin Kubler

12/04/2020 By David Rigby

Deportment 2020: Know how to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘Zoom the Zoom’

In these days of COVID-19 you not only have to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘walk the walk’ but you have to appear good on Zoom. Not only do you have to sound good you have to look good too, And not just you – you are most likely to be working and broadcasting from home – so the view of your home must also give the right impression. I notice every one judging what you look like when you have not been able to go to the beauty salon, nail stylist, or hairdresser for weeks and having to do your own cleaning due to lockdown. Tolerance of shady presentation skills won’t be accepted for long either – so brush up those skills too!.

While you are practicing your body posture and setting up the appropriate lighting and soundscape for your broadcast, whether a serious business meeting or a chat with a distant neighbour take a look at the article below I wrote for Al Arabiya News about deportment training for some stars in the 1960’s. And note how much still applies today. Below is one of many of these articles as published in 2015.

Deportment: Know how to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘walk the walk’

It’s now the winter holiday season, and just like in the UK and USA, here in the UAE you see the girls dressed in impossible heels and wearing designers while staggering to various social venues. One difference here is that, in general, they are not freezing to death on the way to their chosen location.

They may have the designer frocks, but few of them know how to walk elegantly or indeed talk elegantly. There is an old British expression “You can take a girl out of Essex, but you can never take Essex out of the girl.”

This is because they don’t know about Deportment.

Way back in the early 1960s there was a developing record business called Motown. Based out of a house called “Hitsville USA” in Detroit. In those early days one of several vocal groups was called The Supremes. They were often known as the ‘no-hits’ Supremes as at the time every record had flopped.

But like everyone else in the Motown roster, they went to American etiquette instructor and talent agent Miss Maxine Powell to learn about deportment.

And this is what The Supremes learnt
• Perform in front of the mirror – see how you look
• Sing with a smile – not like you are in pain
• Learn how to sit on a barstool elegantly, walk stairs, get out of cars
• Always introduce yourself first, then the visitor introduce themselves
• Never see anyone for 20 minutes after a show
• Continue to grow until there is no breath in your body

In England you were taught how to handle a dazzling array of cutlery in case you went to an exclusive dinner. But the main message in all of this that you will know what to do when you meet the Queen of England.

And this is the message.

That group of three lean individuals from low grade subsidised government housing in The Brewster Projects went on to become worldwide stars. 12 number one hits in USA in three years. That was just the start.

And in 1965 they performed at Britain’s prestigious Royal Variety performance and indeed met the Queen of England.

And they knew how to conduct themselves! Years of lessons about deportment both on and off stage meant they knew exactly what to do. As did many other stars in the Motown roster which included Martha & The Vandellas, Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder – all megastars in their own right. I first saw Stevie Wonder perform when he was 14.

For those who don’t remember The Supremes you may know their lead singer, Diana Ross. In a recording career spanning almost 50 years she sold over 140 million records and is still performing to great reviews today while in her seventies.

But what distinguished them from the rest? In many cases they were the first black girl groups to break into the largely white supper clubs and TV shows. Sure, they can sing, but they could also put on a good show, deal with the audience and not be scared of anyone.

Why could they do this? Because they had deportment.

In the old days in Britain, the rich girls ‘came out’ (different meaning today!) after going to finishing school. They learnt how to walk in heels with a set of books balanced on their heads. These days you can record yourself, take selfies, and video yourself moving around. So observe and improve – sometimes you can’t see it yourself but a coach can help you.

Just putting someone in a posh frock and high heels doesn’t work. To again quote Margaret Thatcher: “If you have to tell people you are a lady – then you aren’t”.And all this applies in a slightly different way to the guys too!

Both need to both ‘talk the talk’ and ‘walk the walk!’

Learn all the skills before it really matters – and when time comes you can walk into the audition or job interview an unknown and come out a star!

David Rigby is a founding director of Smart Coaching & Training. He is based in Europe as an international keynote speaker, trainer, consultant, and executive coach. He developed a training practice focusing on Behavioural Preference Profiling and Signature Corporate Training suite.

06/01/2022 By Jessica Breitenfeld

Sell Yourself Authentically

How Can You Sell Yourself Authentically within the First Five Seconds of Your Video?

Potential clients want to know quickly if you are a good fit for their needs, so you need an emotional hook to keep them listening. In the coaching industry you are your product; you need to know your strengths, what your ideal client wants and be engaging enough to get them interested in listening to your video, hiring you and recommending you.

Grab Their Attention

Your first sentence must show that you understand your clients. Start with a fascinating fact or a surprising statistic, mention their problem, offer a solution, ask a question or hint at a story.

People hire coaches based on a feeling much more than on certificates or qualifications. They need to be vulnerable with you in their process and if they don’t like or trust you they will not progress. So, the big questions is: How do you get people to like and trust you in a short amount of time?

*Jessica Breitenfeld Smart Coaching & Training Associate*

*Feedback from Jessica’s remote training in Saudi Arabia for SCT*

Building Trust Has a Formula

Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy = Trustworthiness

As a Gestalt therapist, I have seen many situations where women have put up a wall to protect themselves from getting hurt emotionally. Yet this same wall keeps intimacy, love and deep relationships on the outside knocking to get in. The door cannot open without intimacy, honesty and being oneself. I have come to understand that the best way for you to be yourself is to be brave. How2BeYou was founded with the vision of helping women get their ideas heard. To do that, you need to have the confidence to be yourself in three areas.

Understanding what you offer gives you credibility. Once you become confident in who you are and what you are offering, getting your ideal client is easier online than it is at your local networking event. You don’t need seven billion clients; you need people who like you, relate to you and trust you to help them with their goals.

Building reliability comes from repeated exposure. One example is building a Facebook group. It’s easier and more comfortable to sell to your community than it is to your family and friends. You could give a workshop to build your YouTube library. People need to see you seven times before they buy from you, so video is the cheapest, easiest way to gain clients´ trust.

Intimacy is developed through being authentic.You have strengths and weaknesses and you are unique. What is it about you that your ideal client will relate to? Once you can show them that you have overcome the problem they are facing they will trust you and want to work with you.

Three tips on how to be visible and comfortable on camera:

Always be clear and know your audience so you know what to talk about.
Focus your topics on their pain points and their outcomes.
Have a solid structure that offers tips and a call to action.

Are You Ready to Really Connect with Your People?

I know you want to do it. It can be scary, but ultimately, it is the play button to success. Your business has the potential to take off when you use video content properly. Once you step outside your comfort zone, your comfort in that zone grows and naturally your confidence grows! When potential clients see you putting yourself out there, being you in all your “you-ness” they come to trust you.

Remember, you are your brand. You are selling a transformation that comes from working with you and only you. Being open and sharing more of yourself helps build credibility and authority in your specialty. It shows who you are and: the expert- having overcome the thing they are struggling with. Allow your personality to radiate through your videos, creating connections as you go.

Still Not Convinced You Are Ready?

Are you worried about that mean girl from high school commenting on your video?

There are three typical problems that were stopping my clients from making videos to get clients:

Imposter syndrome.
Uncertain about how to structure content.
Uncomfortable on camera with no real faces to connect to.

I felt like old friends might challenge me on who I grew into. How could I claim to be a motivational speaker? I used my techniques on myself. I overcame my imposter syndrome by applying the legendary LAB approach to my fears. I heard my doubts floating in my head, then trained myself to speak. I took courses, gave more than 50 workshops on Zoom this year, won contests in Europe and ta-da—the confidence and authority which I now have comes from being voted Best Speaker in Barcelona and second Best Speaker in the Professional Speakers Association London, UK. Having trained professionals like you for thousands of hours on five continents, I can confidently claim that I can get you heard on camera, in your relationships and in your career. I’m looking forward to hearing your ideas!

At Smart Coaching & Training we coach and mentor according to client’s need, matching the client to appropriate associate including location and language.

17 associates; 4 continents; 8 languages.

This article was originally published in Metropolitan Barcelona

09/12/2021 By David Rigby & Martin Kubler

Duck Ramps

What’s my role as a mentor?

Before going to Oman to deliver training to Ministry of Transport in December 2021 , I was enjoying a fine spring morning walking around my neighbourhood in Stockholm and preparing for an upcoming Zoom with one of my Institute of Hospitality mentees, when I stumbled upon this contraption on the side of a small canal, which runs through a park behind my apartment:

What’s than sloping metal sheet for?

Initially, I wasn’t sure what the purpose of the sloping metal sheet was that was attached to the side of the canal. Just as I was looking at the ramp and scratching my head, a duck mother and her recently born ducklings drifted past and paddled to the ramp. Mother duck hopped out of the canal with a swift jump, but the little ducklings used the metal ramp to reach the shore.
I remember thinking, that it says a lot about my new neighbourhood that local authorities go to the trouble of installing duck ramps, so little ducklings (or older ducks, which feel less energetic), can enter and leave the water effortlessly, but I also realized that the image fairly aptly symbolizes my role as a mentor

Adapting to mentee´s needs

I feel strongly that, just as every mentee’s circumstances are different, a mentor’s approach also needs to adapt and that “one size fits all” isn’t a good approach. For a mentor – mentee relationship to be successful and produce results, both parties need to, at least broadly, align, which also means that, depending on a mentee’s journey, he or she should work with more than one mentor. It’s important for a mentor to understand the stage a mentee is currently at to be able to provide the right guidance.

Danger- Mashed potatoes , no?

Equally, a mentor doesn’t just need to understand the mentee’s industry and circumstances, but also the finer details of why the mentee is looking for guidance. “Mentee pleasing” sounds like a nice thing, but isn’t really helpful in the long run. A mentor’s a short-time guide, not a permanent advisor, and he or she cannot mentor, say, an entrepreneur from the pre-start-up phases to successfully running every aspect of a multi-million-dollar business.

*Martin Kubler training for Ministry of Transport Oman December 2021*

You might be a start-up specialist and a sales expert, but have no idea of the intricacies of human resources or how to set up an ERP system. It’s best to be upfront with mentees and explain where you can and cannot add value. Beware of people who try to add value everywhere or you’ll end up with an ERP system that mashes potatoes (I don’t know too much about ERP systems, but I’m pretty sure that they’re not supposed to mash potatoes).

Swimming without arm floats

Personally, I’ve got things figured out – and that’s also where the duck ramp from earlier on comes into play again: I help mentees get into the water smoothly and safely and learn how to swim. Once they know how to use the ramp and can swim comfortably without arm floats, I might wave them a fond farewell and introduce them to a mentor who’s better placed to help them with the journey ahead. Unless, of course, you’re talking marketing planning, communications, digital, or one of my other specialties, in which case I might just jump into the water myself and paddle alongside my mentee for a bit longer.

The ‘Number One’ factor in growing up to be a Swan

Mentors, essentially, are duck mothers or maybe Swan mothers. We’ll make sure our mentees paddle into the right direction, but we’ll also know that the time will come when our mutual journey ends and when a mentee might need different, fresh, specialist guidance.

If you’re a mentor, look around you, and you’ll soon find your duck ramp – even if your local authorities aren’t as duck friendly as mine. If you’re a mentee looking for a mentor, don’t agree to a ramp when what you really need are water skis or a 500 horsepower outboard motor, but also don’t buy a fancy yacht when you haven’t yet learned how to row a dinghy boat.

At Smart Coaching & Training we coach and mentor according to client’s need, matching the client to appropriate associate based on needs including location and language.

09/11/2021 By David Rigby

Dressing for Effect

Having the unconventional on your team

A man in a frock, a westerner in Arab dress! Which is worse? In this world of diversity what are you challenging when you break conventions, what are you going to achieve?

A man in a frock

A man in a frock: This shows a sign of confidence. A person good at getting publicity by challenging conventions. This photo was on linked in (I got permission to use) . The comments which went with it were fascinating. “No place for this on LinkedIn, an affront to women etc”. The overwhelming opinion seemed to be that those who were complaining should just get over it and get real. The transformation is impeccable – but still so obviously a man in a frock and high, high heels, not a woman. It should be noted that these days no one complains about women wearing trousers yet they were male clothing, High heels also were male attire, originally designed to prevent horse riders fall of their horses. Probably a good person to have on a diverse team – he would definitely get you to challenge your assumptions.

A Westerner in a thobe

A Westerner in a thobe (Arabic dress): this shows signs of disrespect. This is traditional clothing worn by Arabic Muslims. Non-Arabic Muslims in the business world tend to wear suits for business. Occasionally you will see Pakistanis and non Arabs wearing a thobe. Enquiring from my Muslim friends this represents Muslims showing support and respect for the Muslim Arabs. But they can only do it because they, themselves, are Muslims. So what will a westerner (presumed not Muslim) wearing a thobe achieve? – he will just look stupid and unaware. Don’t have him on your team!

It’s good to challenge assumptions and conventions – but know what you are challenging !

At Smart Coaching & Training we have associates in four continents speaking seven languages – some wear skirts some wear thobes.

See Barry Brandon on LinkedIn

11/09/2021 By David Rigby

Would you rather improve your competence or transform your mindset?

Do you focus on task or focus on people?

Corporations that help their executives and leadership teams examine their personal world views can reap rich rewards in terms of effective cultural transformation and engaging the younger generation. Organisational Managers have two broad options in how to use their authority to serve the organisation at any given time. They can perceive themselves to be in a managerial mode delivering today’s outcomes within the relative ‘certainty’ of the system as it currently exists and operates or else by stepping back into an uncertain big picture mode of leadership of the future. Their daily performance necessarily combines both operational management of today’s needs along with a more strategic leadership role focused on tomorrow’s needs.

The voyage from Manager to Leader

The voyage of development ‘from manager to leader’ is not an easy one; some people change little during their lifetimes while others substantially.

*Spiral Dynamics and Vertical Development*

Those willing to work at developing themselves and becoming more self-aware can almost certainly evolve over time into truly transformational leaders. .

Are you on a ‘Heroes Journey’?

For the future world emerging, the higher stages of consciousness are being called forth dramatically, with the younger generation coming in at levels far higher than their bosses, creating new tensions in the corporate cultures. Note consciousness is very different from intelligence. Few current leaders are desiring to change the world for the worlds sake however many want to progress on their ‘Heroes Journey’.

We advise and sell many preference profiling tools such as DISC and C-me to help you improve your competence.

Spiral Dynamics

With Psychosocial Adult Development approaches such as Leadership Development Framework and Spiral Dynamics adults start at level one and can progress through a number of levels. The closer you are to the higher levels of consciousness the more able you will be to effect and deliver on change, be an effective director and manage internationally.
.

https://www.smartcoachingtraining.com/what_we_offer/signature-corporate-training-longer-courses-and-retreatsPsychosocial Adult Development Training

Each stage can be regarded as a level of awareness or consciousness and forms the psychological basis for a critical perception of why we act in a certain way. We can help leaders become better leaders by helping them transform from one level to the next.

To find out more check out our course “Transformational Leadership using Psychosocial Adult Development Strategy ” This is just one of our Signature Corporate Training courses. see then all here . Or simply just ask us at info@smartcoachingtraining.com

02/07/2021 By Jessica Brietenfeld and Simon Grayson

Make Your Team Psychologically Safe

Teams that Trust – Triumph: Why Psychological Safety matters to your bottom line

Remember when you were on a team and really enjoyed it. What were the meetings like and how did the group communicate? Which team did you most enjoy being in? Which team that you were a part of was most effective? Were you more effective when you felt safe to be yourself and express yourself?

Being on a team can be a dream or a nightmare.

All of us have mixed experiences when being part of a team or group or when leading them. What makes an efficient team? Talent alone is nowhere near enough of an attribute to make an effective team. It has been proved through various scientific research that the best teams share ideas.in a safe atmosphere where failure is viewed as progress- when a member of the team feels like it is okay to share an idea without knowing if it will in fact work out. In fact they are willing to share the acorn of an idea knowing that others will help it grow and develop it to something better.

Using one´s strengths

On an ideal team, each person is willing to speak their truth and give feedback when things are good, bad or indifferent. They speak humbly with empathy,,are open to feedback and opportunities to learn and have a desire to improve. Team members are willing to speak up if and when they spot a potential risk. What they spotted may be incorrect, but mistakes are not held against each other. Each team member realises that they need to include, listen and challenge others to be more effective. The leaders of these teams listen in order to learn, grow and develop the team. So that they can do more with less stress.

Think of teams that you’ve experienced, inside or outside of work, that keep quiet, don’t share ideas and avoid speaking up, even when they know the answer or see a problem looming.

Danger- imminent disaster, no?

Imagine a ship where the captain knows they will hit an iceberg but they fear upsetting the owner of the ship and losing their jobs- in case they are wrong.
Imagine a IT guy having had the experience at a previous job of a similar project and knowing what went wrong but not having the safety to share this information because of the hierarchy on the team.
Wouldn’t you want your team to help make you more successful? You must give them permission to fail and to try again.

*Psychological Safety Expert- Simon Grayson*

*Psychological Safety Expert- Jessica Breitenfeld*

The people in these teams can be merciless if someone makes an error The result is that no one speaks up, no-one shares ideas and you became extinct like Kodak film. Leaders of teams like this listen only to correct, react and delegate. These companies become Irrelevant in today’s VUCA (volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity) world without innovative team.which ultimately drives ‘safe’ behaviours that don’t maximise performance, rarely create fresh ideas and never surpass targets. The leaders of these teams listen in order to respond, fix and tell. This team will never fulfil its potential because the team has low Psychological Safety. That sense of not feeling safe and supported within a team or group gets in the way of performance, innovation, learning, and personal success.

The ‘Number One’ factor in team effectiveness

The NUMBER ONE factor in team effectiveness is “Psychological Safety”.
This insight is the result of almost 30 years of research by Amy Edmondson, at Harvard Business School, supported and reinforced by an extensive two-year research programme (Project Aristotle) across 15,000 employees at Google read about Project Aristotle in The New York Times magazine).

At Smart Coaching & Training we measure team effectiveness across four dimensions:

Attitudes to risk and failure:
• the degree to which it is permissible to make mistakes
Open conversations
• the degree to which difficult and sensitive topics can be discussed openly
Willingness to help
• the degree to which people are willing to help one another

Inclusivity and diversity
• the degree to which people can be themselves, and be welcomed for this. The degree that others can be different and the tolerance for it.

*How Psychologically Safe is it to Spill the paint or Spill the beans? Wales, UK Photo by David Rigby*

You can be do the ¨AQai Adaptability Quotient test to see how your team members respond under stress and in change situations and then our coach can help you with a plan to increase your team’s Adaptability IQ score so that it is agile and able to keep up.

We deliver coching support, diagnostic tools and a Psychological Safety Workshop to assess your current level of Psychological Safety and help you plan to improve it

Workshops will train a ¨Yes, And¨ mindset, will have role plays and improvisation LAB Experiences with Serious Games where your team practices the mindset of an adaptive team that supports one another.

Your team practices feedback sessions, how to present information and how to create rapport so they approach the team prepared and with confidence that they are delivering their ideas clearly.

Team that trust – triumph.

See “Make your team Psychologically Safe Workshop” Here and help build tthat atmosphere of trust, trial and triumph with interactive, dynamic training .