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09/12/2021 By David Rigby & Martin Kubler

Duck Ramps

Duck Ramps

What’s my role as a mentor?

Before going to Oman to deliver training to Ministry of Transport in December 2021 , I was enjoying a fine spring morning walking around my neighbourhood in Stockholm and preparing for an upcoming Zoom with one of my Institute of Hospitality mentees, when I stumbled upon this contraption on the side of a small canal, which runs through a park behind my apartment:

What’s that sloping metal sheet for?

Initially, I wasn’t sure what the purpose of the sloping metal sheet was that was attached to the side of the canal. Just as I was looking at the ramp and scratching my head, a duck mother and her recently born ducklings drifted past and paddled to the ramp. Mother duck hopped out of the canal with a swift jump, but the little ducklings used the metal ramp to reach the shore.
I remember thinking, that it says a lot about my new neighbourhood that local authorities go to the trouble of installing duck ramps, so little ducklings (or older ducks, which feel less energetic), can enter and leave the water effortlessly, but I also realized that the image fairly aptly symbolizes my role as a mentor

Adapting to mentee´s needs

I feel strongly that, just as every mentee’s circumstances are different, a mentor’s approach also needs to adapt and that “one size fits all” isn’t a good approach. For a mentor – mentee relationship to be successful and produce results, both parties need to, at least broadly, align, which also means that, depending on a mentee’s journey, he or she should work with more than one mentor. It’s important for a mentor to understand the stage a mentee is currently at to be able to provide the right guidance.

Danger- Mashed potatoes , no?

Equally, a mentor doesn’t just need to understand the mentee’s industry and circumstances, but also the finer details of why the mentee is looking for guidance. “Mentee pleasing” sounds like a nice thing, but isn’t really helpful in the long run. A mentor’s a short-time guide, not a permanent advisor, and he or she cannot mentor, say, an entrepreneur from the pre-start-up phases to successfully running every aspect of a multi-million-dollar business.

Martin Kubler training for Ministry of Transport Oman December 2021
Duck Ramp – Stockholm

You might be a start-up specialist and a sales expert, but have no idea of the intricacies of human resources or how to set up an ERP system. It’s best to be upfront with mentees and explain where you can and cannot add value. Beware of people who try to add value everywhere or you’ll end up with an ERP system that mashes potatoes (I don’t know too much about ERP systems, but I’m pretty sure that they’re not supposed to mash potatoes).

Swimming without arm floats

Personally, I’ve got things figured out – and that’s also where the duck ramp from earlier on comes into play again: I help mentees get into the water smoothly and safely and learn how to swim. Once they know how to use the ramp and can swim comfortably without arm floats, I might wave them a fond farewell and introduce them to a mentor who’s better placed to help them with the journey ahead. Unless, of course, you’re talking marketing planning, communications, digital, or one of my other specialties, in which case I might just jump into the water myself and paddle alongside my mentee for a bit longer.

The ‘Number One’ factor in growing up to be a Swan

Mentors, essentially, are duck mothers or maybe Swan mothers. We’ll make sure our mentees paddle into the right direction, but we’ll also know that the time will come when our mutual journey ends and when a mentee might need different, fresh, specialist guidance.

If you’re a mentor, look around you, and you’ll soon find your duck ramp – even if your local authorities aren’t as duck friendly as mine. If you’re a mentee looking for a mentor, don’t agree to a ramp when what you really need are water skis or a 500 horsepower outboard motor, but also don’t buy a fancy yacht when you haven’t yet learned how to row a dinghy boat.

At Smart Coaching & Training we coach and mentor according to client’s need, matching the client to appropriate associate based on needs including location and language.

Written by Martin Kubler © 2021 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Mentoring, Mindset, News, Personal Development, Wellbeing Tagged With: Emotional, feedback, feeling, intuitive, Jung, logical, profiling, psychological safety, Smart Coaching & Training, Stockholm, thinking

18/03/2021 By David Rigby & Martin Kubler

How COVID brought us closer together

How COVID brought us closer together

Hello? Can you hear me? I’m sorry if I’m sounding a bit far away, but I’m currently hanging out with a group of hospitality professionals in Yorkshire while I’m in Dubai. Or was it Stockholm? Or possibly Accra?


There’s little doubt that COVID has wreaked havoc on our industry worldwide. Furloughs in the UK, lockdowns everywhere, limited (if any!) in-outlet dining, cancelled cruises – you name it. I’m not known for laughing challenging trading conditions in the face and shouting “Hey, but look at the bright side!”, but I readily admit that the pandemic has also brought certain positive changes to our industry – the most important one, in my opinion, being that we’ve come closer together.

It didn’t matter where you were

I’ve spend the last 16 years as an expat in various locations that didn’t have an Institute of Hospitality branch and I got used to looking at pictures of meetings, networking events, and celebrations that the Institute and their branches have put on over the years with varying degrees of envy. Then the pandemic hit, everything moved online and suddenly, it didn’t matter anymore where I was based – I could be anywhere.

The Institute of Hospitality’s virtual Thursday Coffee and Conversation mornings provided a first taste of our newfound freedom. Members joined from all over the world and exchanged updates or just engaged in light-hearted conversation to find a few minutes of distraction from the latest lockdown news.

Martin Kubler © Martin Kubler

People started to cooperate and collaborate… new platforms such as www.backtowork.support were born based on our conversations. New ways of presenting and distributing industry news and expertise like the fantastic Hospitality Recovery on LinkedIn Live were tested. If you fancied it and had the time (and, let’s face it, time was something most of us had in abundance during the various lockdowns), you could attend virtual branch meetings and networking events from the comfort of your armchair. One branch even put on a pub-style quiz.

Bringing people closer together

The pandemic has brought us closer together and that’s a good thing. The key, going forward, is to keep the momentum and not let things revert to silos again. The Institute and its members have an important role to play in the process, because we’ve been here, done that, and got the tea cup – in other words, we’ve successfully demonstrated how large international organisations can use technology to bring people closer together, ensure information and expertise flows freely, and collaborations between individual professionals create new opportunities, ventures, and projects

Remember Face to Face?

The pandemic has brought us closer together and that’s a good thing. The key, going forward, is to keep the momentum and not let things revert to silos again. The Institute and its members have an important role to play in the process, because we’ve been here, done that, and got the tea cup – in other words, we’ve successfully demonstrated how large international organisations can use technology to bring people closer together, ensure information and expertise flows freely, and collaborations between individual professionals create new opportunities, ventures, and projects.

Don’t get me wrong, now that I’m based in Europe again, I do want to attend one of the Institute’s annual Fellows’ Dinners. It’ll be my first one and I’m sure will be very enjoyable. The goal isn’t to move everything online – there’s much to be said for face-to-face interactions and good old black-tie jollifications. The goal really should be to use technology in the way, I think, it is meant to be used… to bring people together and to make things more inclusive and, very often, faster.

Cats are for baskets not Zoom calls © David Rigby

The latter is, in my opinion, a key point. Teams can now meet at the click of a button, regardless of where the various team-members are. You don’t need to take minutes anymore, because you can record things – great for people who aren’t totally fluent in English. Right now, I’m involved in a project that brings together professionals from Russia, the Middle East, and Europe. We communicate in English, but some of us find it very beneficial to be able to watch the recordings of our meetings again, just to make sure they understood everything correctly. You can’t rewind a face-to-face meeting, but you can rewind a Zoom meeting.


I hope some of what we’ve learned during the pandemic stays with us even in post-COVID times. The coffee mornings, for example, shouldn’t stop just because we’re all able to meet again IRL, in real life. How else could I find out how Robert’s hotel in Ghana is doing or what’s going on in the Scottish highlands and islands? Quite apart from being able to see the various members’ coffee and tea cups (someone used a massive Homer Simpson cup in today’s call!) and pets (last week I was in a Zoom meeting and a team-member’s cat blocked the screen for a good 5 minutes).
Walking into a face-to-face meeting later in 2021 or 2022 is bound to be like “Oh, I know, you’re the chap with the Homer Simpson cup!” or “What do you mean, you didn’t bring your cat?”.

A version of this article was first published by the Institute of Hospitality

Written by Martin Kubler, © 2021 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Enterprise, Global teams, Growing your Business, hospitality, Management, Mentoring, Mindset, Personal Development, Soft Skills Tagged With: closer, coaching, COVID, Faceetoface, Foreign, Hospitality, inclusion, profiling, ventures

23/04/2020 By David Rigby & Martin Kubler

I’ve never been to me

I’ve never been to me

Becoming confident enough to be yourself

  • taken in Kuala Lumpur by David Rigby

‘I’ve never been to me’ is a song by Charlene which went to No 1 in the UK charts in 1982. For many it is the worst Motown Number One ever, but is pertinent to the situation (COVID-19) we find ourselves in now.

The cheesy lyrics include the lines ‘I’ve been to Nice and the Isle of Greece… but I’ve never been to me’.  It is about having to always be someone else and never being allowed to even find out who you are, let alone actually be that person.

Forward to late 2019, and many in the music industry, as in many other industries, are forced to subsume themselves into industry norms and accordingly standardise their personalities.  Paradoxically the most successful have not done this. Good recent British examples have been Amy Winehouse and Adele who refused to follow the norms. An outstanding American example, even subject to a BBC Radio4 Profile, is the singer Lizzo – larger than life in every category, a phenomenal singer and performer who has no need of pitch correction in her performances.

Come 2020 and COVID-19, the requirement of the performers to be who they are and deliver has never been on show quite so much as the ‘One world’ show where performers such as Lady Gaga, Sam Smith and Andrea Bocelli, and many others sang together, each performing from their own home. No lavish productions or autocorrect to prop them up. And, of course, it is significant who is not performing and the conclusions we can all come to about their skills.

How does this affect us?

Many of us are now in lock down and the only places you can go are shops to buy food or pharmacies to pick up meds – the rest of the time, you are at home, either by yourself or with some version of immediate family.

It is the perfect time to discover who you really are – a great opportunity for self-examination, and if you don’t like the ’me’ you actually are, you can set about changing it.

Many are using this period as a great opportunity to organise themselves, deal with all the filing and position themselves for the future. And then see others, via Zoom, who are in a bad way, and cannot cope with the uncertainty.

Sphere of influence

The ‘sphere of influence’ model is useful here. Issues divide into three :

  • Inner circle: those issues you can deal with by yourself;
  • Outer circle: those issues you can deal with by collaborating with others;
  • Outside both circles: those issues which you absolutely have no influence over.

Many of the issues thrust upon us by COVID-19 are things we have no influence over, so the first step is STOP worrying about things you can do nothing about.

Divide the things you CAN do something about into three categories:

  • Things which are essential to your well-being which you can do on your own. (If you don’t look after yourself then you won’t be able to look after others);
  • Things which are essential to your well-being, which you need to ask or influence others to attain;
  • Things which are essential to others’ well-being which you can deliver to them (whether or not they have asked).

These can include:

  • Ensuring you eat enough healthy food to stay fit but not fat, with, if you want, exercise;
  • Keeping your distance when out and wearing a face mask to assuage the concerns of others;
  • Really learn to appreciate yourself and potentially change the characteristics you don’t like;
  • Keep in remote contact with others and support them when they need in the best way you can;
  • Decide what you will do when this is all over and prepare yourself for it.

And finally: examine the way you communicate with other people:

  • Do you understand them well enough to understand how they prefer contact?
  • Do they understand you well enough to understand how you prefer contact?.

Always assuming you understand yourself well enough to know your own preferences.

This downtime is the lifetime opportunity to discover who you really are and what you really need. The chance to ‘be to me’.

For further discussion and remote coaching, contact us here, or, for Europe info@smartcoachingtraining.com +44 3335660067 and for Middle East hello@spsaffinity.com +97156 652 5970. Take a C-me colour profile to better understand your communication preferences..

Written by David Rigby and Martin Kubler

© 2020 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd 

Filed Under: Being Confident, coaching, Decisions, Emotional Intelligence, Motivation, People Development, Personal Development, Uncategorized, Wellbeing

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