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26/08/2020 By David Rigby

The Mindful Flâneur

The Mindful Flâneur

how to get the most of travelling

Valencia

In Old Town

    London

    St Pancras Station

      Vienna

      Where Beethoven lived

        This year, because of COVID, many of you will be forced to take your holidays closer to home. Here is an opportunity to know your home country. Instead of sitting on a beach, queueing for museums and socially distancing in the same shop in a different location why not be a traveller and really get to know somewhere. And excellent way to absorb a city is to be a Mindful Flâneur.

        The term flâneur comes from the French masculine noun flâneur—which has the basic meanings of “stroller”, “lounger”, “saunterer”, “loafer”—which itself comes from the French verb flâner, which means “to stroll”. To me a Flâneur is a person who wanders without a destiny within, especially, a city to observe the buildings, people and the general environment.

        Mindfulness or being mindful is being ‘in the moment’, totally focussed, observing everything and not being judgemental.  So a mindful flâneur really can get the most of ‘just wandering about’ provided they are organised ‘just enough’.

        An  invitation to

        change a habit /way of being in order to appreciate the world

        Alicante

        Old Town

          Manchester

          University In the winter

            Vienna

            Covid Rabbit

              While ‘flâneuring’ is ‘just wandering about’ planning can make the experience more joyful and profitable use of time. Try these:
              • Research to know which areas might have hidden secrets and watering holes. These are often older areas. Don’t make restaurant reservations – you don’t want a time critical destiny.
              • Travelling with minimum baggage – preferably none.
              • As you are venturing into the unknown, potentially you could arrive in risky areas. So leave your wallet behind. Take some money, one credit card, and maybe evidence of who you are in case you need emergency medical assistance, and tell someone where you are going.
              • Dress appropriately. Don’t attract muggers and robbers. No Jewellery no expensive watches. Dress downmarket – but you may meet interesting people so don’t look like a vagrant either. Take with you a sun hat and an umbrella. And layers of clothes you can put on or take off

              Be a flâneur not a tourist.

              The assumption is you are walking. Difficult to be a flaneur in a car. No need to tick off the places you have researched. You are mindfully observing the mundane.
              Be mindful. “In the moment” means taking in and being part of the events in the street, where you can:
              • Note the Street names. They may be historical, may be in two languages, such as English/Welsh or Catalan/Castellano, and they may point you in the direction of historic churches. The street furniture and paving are also clues to the history.
              • Guess when properties were built. Look at balconies, outside decoration.

              Many older properties descended into potential ruin in the 1960s and now have been gentrified so only the rich can live there.
              You can also take local refreshment in local cafes. Avoid the familiar such as Costa, Starbucks, McDonalds. They are often a triumph of marketing over quality. See what the locals are offering.
              • Look at the nationalities of the food and compare with the nationalities of those who are serving and preparing. And see if there are locals in there.
              • Look at the decoration – may not have been refurbished in years. For me I prefer tea in ancient tea rooms and coffee in modern establishments. Do they use loose tea and don’t use coffee pods?
              • Take your time and talk to people – you never know where your next friend or offer of work is coming from. Look at their behaviours, language, voice tone and match it.

              Behavioural Preference Profile

              Ultimately how you do this will depend on your characteristics based on your behavioural preference profile.

              Cyprus

              Nicosia Border

                Avila

                What crate shall I chose?

                  Liverpool

                  In Penny Lane, there is a barber showing photographs….

                    Most people have behavioural characteristics based on all the colours, usually one prevails.
                    Your behaviour based on your main colour is likely to be
                    • Red: Cover a great distance and not look at anything in detail. Be more interested in the buildings than the people.
                    • Blue: Possibly develop a detailed itinerary and follow it exactly – not being a flâneur at all.
                    • Green: Cover a small distance looking at the people and their lifestyles and wondering how they feel.
                    • Yellow: The distance covered will depend on how many people you meet and chat with on route!

                    Remember that you are not on a marathon or an endurance test, so stop when you have enough and keep an eye about where you are relatively to the bus and metro stops to help you return. Enjoy!

                    Written by David Rigby

                    © 2020 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd 


                    Ultimately how you do this will depend on your characteristics based on your behavioural preference profile. Most people have behavioural characteristics based on all the colours, usually one prevails.
                    Your behaviour based on your main colour is likely to be
                    • Red: Cover a great distance and not look at anything in detail. Be more interested in the buildings than the people.
                    • Blue: Possibly develop a detailed itinerary and follow it exactly – not being a flâneur at all.
                    • Green: Cover a small distance looking at the people and their lifestyles and wondering how they feel.
                    • Yellow: The distance covered will depends on how many people you meet and chat with on route!
                    Remember that you are not on a marathon or an endurance test, so stop when you have enough and keep an eye about where you are relatively to the bus and metro stops to help you return. Enjoy!

                    An  invitation to

                    change a habit /way of being in order to appreciate the world

                    Alicante

                    Old Town

                      Vienna

                      Danube

                        Vienna

                        Covid Rabbit

                          While ‘flâneuring’ is ‘just wandering about’ planning can make the experience more joyful and profitable use of time. Try these:
                          • Research to know which areas might have hidden secrets and watering holes. These are often older areas. Don’t make restaurant reservations – you don’t want a time critical destiny.
                          • Travelling with minimum baggage – preferably none.
                          • As you are venturing into the unknown, potentially you could arrive in risky areas. So leave your wallet behind. Take some money, one credit card, and maybe evidence of who you are in case you need emergency medical assistance, and tell someone where you are going.
                          • Dress appropriately. Don’t attract muggers and robbers. No Jewellery no expensive watches. Dress downmarket – but you may meet interesting people so don’t look like a vagrant either. Take with you a sun hat and an umbrella. And layers of clothes you can put on or take off.

                          Filed Under: Being Confident, C-me Colour Profiling, Communication, leadership, Motivation, Personal Development, Uncategorized, Wellbeing Tagged With: Cyprus, Flaneur, Liverpool, London, Manchester, mindful, Tourist, Travel, Valencia, Vienna

                          21/06/2020 By David Rigby

                          Dealing with ambiguity

                          Dealing with ambiguity

                          I don’t like the method but I like the result

                          One of the challenges of coaching is learning to work with people who have different beliefs than you do. You are not there to proselytise. You are not a missionary and must allow others to take different positions. As a coach you are there to help the client come to his own conclusions and certainly not to say ‘If I were you …..” and impose your own view built on your own opinion.

                          The right not to have an opinion

                          One of the great advantages of being a coach is the right not to have an opinion. You will know of football fans who have strong opinions about their teams when they actually know nothing.

                          Being an ‘expert’ without knowledge is prevalent with many social media users. But in reality the only right to have an opinion is to get the knowledge to form that opinion without resorting to only the media which confirm your beliefs. If you don’t have that knowledge be brave enough to say “I don’t have an opinion” And reserve the right not to spend your time forming your view.

                          Individual vs Group

                          In Western society, based on individualism, it can be difficult to recognise that your client believes that the group (whether it be race,religion, political party, country,) is more important than the individual and that conformity is more important than your individual need. In Edith Wharton’s novels about late 19th century America, keeping up appearances was all that mattered and if you did not follow the conventions retribution and exclusion were swift.

                          Is it the same today? In many societies yes, but the conventions change, and it is no benefit publicly regretting that hitting children is no longer acceptable. There was a time in the UK when politicians kept their affairs in secret, like John Major’s affair with a member of his cabinet , and scandals such as Jeremy Thorpe and Profumo could topple the mighty. Nowadays a Prime Minister can live with his lover and have children in the Prime Ministerial house in Downing Street. Society has changed, and so it should no longer be acceptable to promote hitting children on the grounds that it ‘never did me any harm’, though to many still living with values from a previous era, it still is.

                          Challenges to long-held beliefs

                          So much in the news in recent weeks has been a challenge to beliefs some have held dearly for so long. So the questions to ask yourself are:
                          • Were you own cherished beliefs challenged ?
                          • When was the last time you reviewed your beliefs and values?
                          • Have you still got the beliefs and values you were brought up with? The same ones as your mother or priest taught you? And if so, do you know why? (I never thought about it is not a good answer)
                          • Do you have the same view of history as taught to you in the schools – the winner’s version of history?
                          • Are you prepared to accept that you were brainwashed in school and look at different perspectives?

                          As a coach you need to know what your beliefs are in order to recognise whether your client has beliefs you cannot deal with. And to know when to quit.

                          I don’t like the method but I like the result

                          Times and collective opinion change. In Bristol in the UK, the symbolic casting of the statue of slave trader Colston in the harbour brought more results than forty years of just talking about it. In US and the world the Black Lives Matter protests have more effect than forty years of putting up with it. And so you have the ambiguity – you might like the result but not the method.
                          Public opinion has shifted, and UK has yet anther topic to be radically divided on. And as an individual (rather than a coach) you are going to have to have an opinion and perhaps stand up for it. So better build that opinion on knowledge, and learn to defend your stance and realise that it’s OK to have your views which are different from others and indeed to have your own internal conflicting views.

                          Dealing with ambiguity is a sign of maturity many people just do not get to. Can you?

                          by David Rigby, Smart Coaching & Training 2020

                          Filed Under: Uncategorized

                          15/05/2020 By David Rigby

                          I kept my promise, please keep your distance

                          I kept my promise, please keep your distance

                          “I kept my promise – don’t keep your distance” is the final plea from the song ‘Don’t cry for me Argentina’, originally a UK no 1 by Julie Covington from the play Evita  and later a hit from the film by Madonna.

                          How times change!  During lockdown and particularly as lockdown is loosening, the plea is ‘Keep your distance’. Known as ‘social distancing’ but it is really ‘physical distancing’ and nothing to do with ‘social’.

                          One of the more interesting features of the ‘two metres’, is just how different it is from social practice with different nationalities. 

                          The Spanish who live with many people in small flats and frequently gather in cafés to socialise and exchange two kisses with even virtual strangers, are having a great challenge. By contrast, the Swedes who typically live alone, are used to keeping distance even with people they know, ins and so they are less likely to find this a problem.


                          Extrovert or Introvert?

                          To make life more complicated, some people have been happy (working) at home during lockdown, others who have the constant need to communicate face to face with others all the time, are desperate to go out and are suffering from Zoom overkill, but they cannot give it up.  Of course, it depends whether you are at home alone, or with a group of other people.

                          Your propensity for remote working will depend upon your Behavioral Preference Profile.  Everyone has individual characteristics as to how they actually are, and for each person there are suggestions as to how you may get better at it. You can learn about

                          1. Remote working – How can we be more productive & manage frustrations?
                          2. Resilient strengths – How can we play to our real strengths?
                          3. Handling setbacks – How can we manage challenges?
                          4. Role agility – How do we react to change?
                          5. Enabling engagement – How can we stay motivated? 

                          We would love to help you explore this further so do get in touch.

                          I kept my distance –

                          you keep your promise.

                          “There is nothing more I can think of to say to you.

                          But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true”


                          distancing in Khor Fakkan, UAE

                          Written by David Rigby

                          Lyrics courtesy Webber/Rice and article inspired by discussion with journalist Lekko Saunders (instagram: artea2010)

                          Filed Under: C-me Colour Profiling, Communication, Mindset, Motivation, Uncategorized, Wellbeing Tagged With: COVID, distance, profiling, social distance

                          23/04/2020 By David Rigby & Martin Kubler

                          I’ve never been to me

                          I’ve never been to me

                          Becoming confident enough to be yourself

                          • taken in Kuala Lumpur by David Rigby

                          ‘I’ve never been to me’ is a song by Charlene which went to No 1 in the UK charts in 1982. For many it is the worst Motown Number One ever, but is pertinent to the situation (COVID-19) we find ourselves in now.

                          The cheesy lyrics include the lines ‘I’ve been to Nice and the Isle of Greece… but I’ve never been to me’.  It is about having to always be someone else and never being allowed to even find out who you are, let alone actually be that person.

                          Forward to late 2019, and many in the music industry, as in many other industries, are forced to subsume themselves into industry norms and accordingly standardise their personalities.  Paradoxically the most successful have not done this. Good recent British examples have been Amy Winehouse and Adele who refused to follow the norms. An outstanding American example, even subject to a BBC Radio4 Profile, is the singer Lizzo – larger than life in every category, a phenomenal singer and performer who has no need of pitch correction in her performances.

                          Come 2020 and COVID-19, the requirement of the performers to be who they are and deliver has never been on show quite so much as the ‘One world’ show where performers such as Lady Gaga, Sam Smith and Andrea Bocelli, and many others sang together, each performing from their own home. No lavish productions or autocorrect to prop them up. And, of course, it is significant who is not performing and the conclusions we can all come to about their skills.

                          How does this affect us?

                          Many of us are now in lock down and the only places you can go are shops to buy food or pharmacies to pick up meds – the rest of the time, you are at home, either by yourself or with some version of immediate family.

                          It is the perfect time to discover who you really are – a great opportunity for self-examination, and if you don’t like the ’me’ you actually are, you can set about changing it.

                          Many are using this period as a great opportunity to organise themselves, deal with all the filing and position themselves for the future. And then see others, via Zoom, who are in a bad way, and cannot cope with the uncertainty.

                          Sphere of influence

                          The ‘sphere of influence’ model is useful here. Issues divide into three :

                          • Inner circle: those issues you can deal with by yourself;
                          • Outer circle: those issues you can deal with by collaborating with others;
                          • Outside both circles: those issues which you absolutely have no influence over.

                          Many of the issues thrust upon us by COVID-19 are things we have no influence over, so the first step is STOP worrying about things you can do nothing about.

                          Divide the things you CAN do something about into three categories:

                          • Things which are essential to your well-being which you can do on your own. (If you don’t look after yourself then you won’t be able to look after others);
                          • Things which are essential to your well-being, which you need to ask or influence others to attain;
                          • Things which are essential to others’ well-being which you can deliver to them (whether or not they have asked).

                          These can include:

                          • Ensuring you eat enough healthy food to stay fit but not fat, with, if you want, exercise;
                          • Keeping your distance when out and wearing a face mask to assuage the concerns of others;
                          • Really learn to appreciate yourself and potentially change the characteristics you don’t like;
                          • Keep in remote contact with others and support them when they need in the best way you can;
                          • Decide what you will do when this is all over and prepare yourself for it.

                          And finally: examine the way you communicate with other people:

                          • Do you understand them well enough to understand how they prefer contact?
                          • Do they understand you well enough to understand how you prefer contact?.

                          Always assuming you understand yourself well enough to know your own preferences.

                          This downtime is the lifetime opportunity to discover who you really are and what you really need. The chance to ‘be to me’.

                          For further discussion and remote coaching, contact us here, or, for Europe [email protected] +44 3335660067 and for Middle East [email protected] +97156 652 5970. Take a C-me colour profile to better understand your communication preferences..

                          Written by David Rigby and Martin Kubler

                          © 2020 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd 

                          Filed Under: Being Confident, coaching, Decisions, Emotional Intelligence, Motivation, People Development, Personal Development, Uncategorized, Wellbeing

                          08/04/2020 By David Rigby

                          The games people play

                          The games people play

                          It’s party time – what is a party without games?

                          But nowadays games aren’t confined to parties.  Games appear in the workplace too.

                          • dominoes

                          Employee engagement and customer engagement can be low, learning from books can be difficult.  Engagement is also easy to lose and difficult to inspire. Gallup’s 2016 The Worldwide Employee Engagement Crisis report found that only 32 percent of US workers are engaged with their jobs daily; less than half that number, 13 percent, are engaged worldwide. Disengaged employees are less productive and have lower morale because they tend to think negatively about their jobs. Disengaged employees tend to bring their colleagues and teammates down with them,

                          It is proven that playing motivates people and enhances learning. Recruitment training and being in the office can actually be fun and social Gamification is a technique for applying game mechanics to non-game context, to make it fun and thus increase engagement. 

                          To successfully gamify you need four steps

                          • interactive challenges
                          • constant/instant feedbacks
                          • competition and social
                          • rewards and redemptions.

                          Gamification taps on everyone’s intrinsic motivations to have fun in enterprises.   Banks and telephone companies use gamification as a rewards and motivation platform to use employees using game psychology.  Community engagement to motivate target behaviours for various purposes such as in employee’s training/performance management or consumer marketing/sales advocacy. 

                          Why is gamification relevant to me?

                          You will almost certainly been subject to gamification whether you know it or not.  Those who no longer have the concentration to read a book and resort to little quizzes in FaceBook have been ‘gamified’.  But it’s not only you, its everyone you communicate with.  It is relatively easy to build the software (we can recommend an organisation) but what can you use if for is more the challenge?  The more you develop your soft and mindfulness skills the more likely you are to recognise ways of harnessing the stickiness of gamification to bring the waifs and strays back into the fold for good. Simple badges, levels and points which appear in normal software games can be used to develop continuing engagement.  

                          What kind of games are YOU likely to want to play?

                          • Do you like games which are strictly logical or prefer those which appeal to your emotions?
                          • Do you like to get into the real nitty-gritty, into great detail – or just want to skim the surface?

                          Your behavioural profiling preferences will tell you whether you are engaged with this – the detail you may or may not need the appeal to the emotions or lack thereof.

                          Any manager will need to know what social behaviours she may be trying to enhance, which target behaviours will help hit the goals, what extrinsic rewards to offer to get intrinsic motivation, and which tribes and communities she need to engage.

                          And engagement doesn’t just affect employees. Holding consumers’ attention through the continuous noise of competing marketing messages represents another avenue where engagement is critical to success. Modern consumers are fickle. Unless something truly intrigues them, they move on.

                          David Rigby – [email protected]

                          Filed Under: Uncategorized

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