What’s the biggest insult you can give your foreign host when invited to share food at their home and in their country ? Bring your own food.
Guess who did that recently ?????
You are having your intercultural in-person meeting in your hosts’ location (or at least not yours) and your host invites you share food with them.
What do you do? Panic ? I trust not!
This is in recognition that your host trusts you enough to consider inviting you – so the only thing you can do is say “yes” to have any hope of securing the business or friendship you are hoping for .
It may be to some swanky restaurant, a local café, a pool party or, if you are particularly lucky it might be to the hosts’ home.
It is possible that there may be more than you and the host – could be your partner and/or host partner,
There also could be several other people. There could be people of different generations or religions. There could be people with same-sex partners There could be people who are neurodiverse . There could be the host’s boss or your boss. There may even be children
Try to discover who your companions are, and a possible dress code.
This will help you decide what to wear. You may choose to dress more modestly. It would probably not be wise to arrive in a suit and tie or tuxedo unless you are forewarned.
Neither would it be wise to arrive in the standard dress of your host. For example do not wear a thobe unless you are Muslim.
Dowdy conventional and boring suggests lack of confidence.
At what time should you arrive?
Next question: what time should you arrive.
Some people are used to eating dinner at 5. Don’t be surprised if your host says arrive at 8 or 9 (or 10 in Spain). And if the invite is for 8 in the Netherlands , arrive at exactly 8 and in Spain certainly not before 8.30. And don’t expect to eat immediately. I recall a dinner at someone’s home in Jeddah for 10pm . We actually ate at 2.30 am as I was about to faint from starvation having ony eaten breakfast.
Knowing when to leave is also important. Do you leave your host to do the washing up?
At the SIETAR Gala dinner in Valencia in June 2026 Presenters and Guests made the effort to come from India, USA, Canada, Africa, Caribbean, UAE, South America as well as across Europe .
If it’s lunch in the USA it’s 20 minutes around noon. In Spain its 2-3 hours starting at 2 or 3 pm. . I had to tell folks from the USA that they could not have pizza at noon in Alicante because nowhere would be open.
And should you take a gift? . In Europe and USA taking a bottle of wine is probably acceptable, Taking food may be an insult to the chef. In other places your gift may be taken away and never opened in your presence.
The official pre-dinner photo in Abu Dhabi prior to a big consulting project in 2011. Notice men on the left, women on the right . Where am I?
Next is what do you talk about ?
Depending where you are, you might get down to business but most probably you should not. What about conversations about Politics, Sport, Sex ? This is an opportunity for your host to get to know you better, and equally for you to get to know the host (and other guests) better . If you just talk pleasantries all night you will get to know nothing, and you know you have to give some information to get knowledge back. Knowing when to talk business is another article.
It is a sign of trust that your host had invited you to their home, It’s also a sign of trust that you eat the food.
In the old days you took someone to taste the food first on your behalf to demonstrate it wasn’t poison. If that person didn’t drop dead you were probably safe.
Of course, if you are President you can be invited by another leader to eat in their country and refuse the fabulous food on offer and instead take your own.
It’s a great insult and of course that meeting resulted in zero achievement.
We discuss food in a subsequent article
Smart Coaching & Training works with over 30 associates, in four continents speaking 14 languages. Most raised and working in a wide range of cultures and living in a different place than where they were born . See our associates here.
Many of our associates are or have been SIETAR members and past presidents . Read more
Many of our associates are specialists in Diversity, Interculturality and related topics Read more here and here.
Written by David Rigby © 2026 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd
