Training & Coaching News from Smart Coaching Training

29/11/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

Your Christmas Village – making those Christmas Connections

During the summer we blogged about how building your own village can extend your life. We ran several events as well and had some wonderful conversations about how to do this and how to make good connections. A reminder of Halina’s thoughts on the subject here.

Never is this idea of building a great village more important than in the Christmas and Holiday season. There is still time to introduce yourself to the neighbours, the people who you buy from (your suppliers or the smiling coffee shop assistant), the person queuing with you at the bus stop – and ask them how are they spending the holiday season. It may be that you find they are spending the time alone, their children and/or parents in other towns or other countries, perhaps their friends are also away, perhaps they simply have no-one.

Such people might welcome some contact over the holidays, a phone call, a visit, a small gesture that they are not on their own, that someone is thinking of them. And of course, so might you.

Research by BBC on loneliness shows that the most lonely people are youngsters (who may have internet friends but no actual close friends) closely followed by the elders, who may be out of the habit of making new connections or have challenges with mobility. Building a little Christmas village to include people who are likely to be alone need not be a big task – whether it is a simple smile, a small gift offered, an invitation to join you in your home, it will make a difference.

Last year’s Age UK campaign put it very neatly ‘ No-one should have no-one‘

So this season, before the holidays

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Identify people who might benefit from some contact over the holidays

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Make an effort to get their details

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Think of ways of contacting or visiting them, or what your gestures to include them in your Christmas village will be.

If it’s you who are on your own – and you don’t want to be, plan ahead….

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Decide when you don’t want to be on your own

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Talk to those around you and in your community who you might want to spend time with over the holidays

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Think about inviting them to join you for a coffee at a cafe or at your home if that works for you

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Find someone to connect with by phone or Skype or email

If you do all this in advance, then you can capitalise on the effort you have put in to build your village and ‘ have yourself a merry little Christmas’ – sharing, giving and caring with others and living more abundantly.

19/11/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

What is your Secret Weapon?

That is an interview question. What would you reply? How would you know what to reply? Not quite as bad as the ‘what kind of biscuit are you?’ but equally challenging.

To answer it requires another question to be answered first. What am I using my secret weapon for? What is the purpose? Is it to be at the top of my game, to be super productive, to win someone over, to overcome an obstacle, to get into the Aladdin’s cave, conquer another galaxy?

Once you have the answer to that question, you can start exploring what your secret weapon actually is. You might be lucky enough to have several of them. The thing(s) or people that you feel you need in order to achieve that purpose. How do you find out?

Here’s some food for thought:

Let’s say you want to want to win someone over. Interesting research from Dr John Gottman on marital stability indicated that what makes happy couples different from unhappy couples has to do with ‘repair attempts’ when things start getting sticky. Happy couples work on making stuff better. Not only do they make repair attempts but are also good at receiving them. What do you think the secret weapon is here? Could it be something to do with good communication?

Or suppose you want to nail that interview? What would you do if you got the biscuit question? Or the ‘tell me about yourself?’ The recruiting site Glassdoor suggests that storytelling would be a great secret weapon to answer this last question. Another recruiter thinks that the way to wow an interviewer is to be sure to have a good conversation.

Or perhaps you need to whip out your secret weapon to secure that crucial sale. Remembering that a sales pitch is a conversation with prospects, how about using a tip from Aston Business School’s research which indicated that creativity was key to landing a sale. Thinking about how to personalise pitch, find solutions to the client’s problems, weave a message that engages.

But perhaps you don’t think you are any good at making repair attempts / telling stories / creative thinking? That these are not secret weapons in your arsenal. Well, stop and think, what is the common theme in all of the above examples? It’s communication and relationship building! And we can all do that!

All we need to do is decide what type of relationship is involved and what type of communication we need in our secret weapons. Simple!

Have fun finding your secret weapons and if you want a very neat way to take you on that journey, discover more about your communication and relationship preferences using C-me Behavioural preference profiling.

Isla Baliszewska

28/09/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

What will you achieve by Christmas?

Swinging from summer into autumn and already we are surrounded by messages about Christmas. Indeed it is less than 3 months away…so what will you do in that time that will make a difference? What do you most want to achieve?

For those who work in multi-level marketing and retail, this is peak time to achieve sales for the Christmas / New Year period, a time for building the relationships that will yield good contracts in 2019, for delivering what is already in the pipeline. That’s a lot! And all this needs to be done by December 14th when most of the world shuts down for 2-4 weeks – depending where you are.

For the rest of us, let’s take a lesson from those in sales and marketing and ask ourselves “How can I sell myself best to achieve what I want by Christmas?” Remember, selling is all about communicating the right way so as to build the right relationships.

With such little time to set our Christmas goals and achieve fabulous results, communicating effectively to get the right message across well is crucial.

Ask yourself:

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Who do I need to impress / get to notice my achievements/ help me to measure them?

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Do I know how these people like to be communicated with?

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Do I really know my own preferred ways to communicate?

Some people like lots of detail, others very little so giving them a lot will put them off and they’ll lose interest. If your preference is to use emotion to appeal to others, the success of your conversation will depend on whether ‘how someone feels about something’ is of interest to them. Some people just want facts, others definitely don’t. Some want a lot of information, others just the salient points. What about you?

Knowing your communication preferences can help you identify which kind of people are your natural allies in achieving what you want. You can then choose who to connect with, those you best identify with, while also learning how to have successful interactions with the others.

And – the better you know yourself the easier it will be to know how to influence yourself to achieve what you want. Rather than staying stuck in old patterns, ways of behaving or attitudes that are perfect saboteurs, you can create enablers.

Here’s a strategy to follow:

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Write a statement of what you want to achieve by Christmas. Make sure it is really clear, definitely doable rather than wishful thinking, and describe what that achievement will look and feel like; if it is an intangible, what will tell you that you have achieved it?

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Write a list of those people you need on side / want recognition from / are essential to your achievement.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]How do you think they would like to be communicated with? Note 5 ways for each person.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Note 5 ways you prefer to communicate with others.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Look for the ‘misfits’. Are they looking for detail when you prefer to be broad brushstroke? Are they wanting big ideas when you prefer minimalism?

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Now the fun part – create your personal achievement strategy by finding the common grounds for great communication.

And here’s an idea – C-me behavioural profiling is a brilliant tool to help you understand yourself and your communication preferences, to use these to achieve the things you want. That self knowledge enables better interactions with others, harnessing your strengths, fixing your weaknesses, allowing you to astutely pick up on the characteristics of others. The door will open to having those killer conversations to get what you want by Christmas.

David Rigby / Isla Baliszewska

23/08/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

Questions to Ask in a time of Uncertainty

Is the question ‘Would you like to write an article about asking great questions?’ a great question?

In theory it isn’t, because it’s a closed question – the answer is either ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. But it is also an emotive question. Why?

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]If I say ‘Yes’ – then I am responding as the questioner would like. And I am also committing myself to accepting an obligation.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]If I say ‘No’ – then I am not committing to anything. But I am disappointing the requester. And ultimately repeatedly responding ‘No’ might weaken our relationship.

A little about Open and Closed questions

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Closed questions require a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer and are designed to shut down a conversation and may not give the questioned a chance to respond. However, ‘Yes but…’ or ‘No but…’ gives the receiver a way out and an opportunity to qualify their response.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Open questions such as ‘Who…?’ ’What…?’, ‘When…?’ ‘How…?’ dig deeper. For example, ‘When…?’ can elicit facts. And a greater question can start with ‘Why…?’ which not only may elicit facts but also an opinion. An even greater question would be ‘How do/did you feel about…?’ And a truly great provocative question might start ‘How do you think I felt when you ….?’

What about Referendums?

Governments typically set referendums when they want support from the people to ratify a certain way forward.

In some governments if the ‘people’ give the ‘wrong’ answer then after some brainwashing they keep running the same referendum until they get the ‘right’ answer.

In the case of the UK Brexit referendum, the actual Brexit question was ‘Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?’ and was designed by the Conservative Prime Minister to quell the support from some of the anti-European conservative MPs. And it was expected by the politicians to elicit a ‘Remain’ response.

This it failed to achieve.

(Interestingly, the original question was a ‘Yes/No’ closed question: ‘Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union?’ however the Electoral Commission decided that might be a bad idea saying, ‘Our assessment suggests that it is possible to ask a question which would not cause concerns about neutrality, whilst also being easily understood.’)

The ‘leave’ response was the marginal winner from those who bothered to vote, and is considered to be a protest vote by those feeling disenfranchised by the elite in Westminster. It was not an expression of actual opinion in response to the question. And so far, it has not been politically possible to re-run the referendum in spite of a lot of toing and froing…and… the crucial question is….

‘…what would the referendum question be?’

What is has achieved is to divide the UK population generationally, within families, between friends along ‘remainer’ and ‘leaver’ sides. It has prevented rational debate which is lost in claims over which side can tell the best lies where facts and accountability don’t matter anymore.

So Questions to Ask in a time of Uncertainty

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Expect the ‘fact’ questions such as ‘Who/What/When/How’ will get emotive non-fact based responses. But still go ahead and ask them.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]If you ask ‘What do you think about..?’ questions you can expect people to possibly get angry in their responses. That’s fine but be prepared.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Leading questions like ‘Don’t you agree that….?’ can also be fine, unless the person doesn’t agree. By stating your opinion up front you are potentially asking for trouble – better to get their opinion first.

Remember what you want to achieve. If all you want is someone’s opinion, ask what you like. You can disagree privately or publicly prepare for battle. If you want to find facts, ask more probing questions. If you want to influence or persuade, couch your questions in collaborative language. Better still, ask us to help you with some Really Clever Coaching Questions.

David Rigby – [email protected]

01/08/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

Do we need a Nudge?

Everyone has those moments when they really wish they had made a different decision…or actually just done something they perhaps should have.

Welcome Nudge Theory, which is about making it easier for people to make decisions which are in their best interest. Thank you Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein for the book ‘Nudge’, published in 2008. And well done Richard Thaler for winning the Nobel Prize for Economics in 2017.

Most of us think of a nudge as a little prompt needed to get something done. Which it is, and those nudges can be the difference between something happening and nothing happening. Coming from behavioural economics, Nudge Theory takes this further, considering important biases in human decision-making and positing ways to help people make decisions that would benefit them.

“By knowing how people think, we can make it easier for them to choose what is best for them, their families and society.” wrote Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein, authors of ‘Nudge: Improving Decisions about Health, Wealth and Happiness.

Simple example: on the assumption that most people want to be healthier but for many reasons (lack of willpower, lack of availability of healthy foods, sweets at the check-out), they stay unhealthy. The nudge here would be to fill the shops with only healthy products, improve food labelling to provide health information, replace the check out sweets with fruit and nuts. The objective – to encourage shoppers to make healthier choices.

Or, you want to go running every day but you can’t be bothered. Just put your trainers where your feet will hit the floor when you swing them out of bed. Your thought process is more likely to veer from procrastination to action.

Nudge Theory has become popular with politicians and policy makers as it touches on important biases in our decision-making processes. From a societal perspective, if you can encourage a whole bunch of people to engage in behaviours that improve society, that sounds like a good idea.

David Cameron’s Behavioural Insights team used the Nudge Theory concept when adding an invitation to join the organ donor register when people were renewing their car tax. This little nudge resulted in a massive increase in people joining the register. Barack Obama had Cass Sunstein as an adviser on his team with the goal of bringing the US Government “into the 21st century in a wide range of ways”. One of these was to try and increase the honesty of quarterly sales reports submitted by providers of goods and services to the Federal Government. By adding a brief prompt at the top of the online form, more accurate information was submitted leading to a reported $1.59 million increase in fees in one quarter, supposedly reflecting more honesty in sales figures. All good news for society as a whole.

But what about nudging to help us as individuals? Nudge Theory demonstrates that using quite simple prompts and techniques can bring a subtle change in our responses. It can push us into taking action rather than not doing anything. But, and here’s the interesting part, it won’t work if we think we are being told what to do. So those policy making examples needed to be suggestive and inviting rather than perjorative.

For our own personal nudges to work we need to feel ownership of them, and to find things that are easy to do. Here are our Nudging Tips:

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Make it simple – so you don’t have to think before doing

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]When setting your nudge try thinking of the pain/negative that you will be moving away from

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Don’t expect it to last forever – renew your nudges by introducing different ones

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Use reminders – pop post-it notes in the places where you want the behaviour change to happen. Or send yourself a morning email reminder.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Give yourself a reward once you have ‘done’ the new nudged behaviour or task a set number of times.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Share the nudge – tap into the power of peer pressure to make the nudge work for you.

To explore how to set your own nudges and what changes you want these nudges to make in your life, how about your first simple step being to get in touch with us – you’d be surprised what you might be able to do!

Isla Baliszewska – [email protected]

Your Christmas Village – making those Christmas Connections

What is your Secret Weapon?

What will you achieve by Christmas?

Questions to Ask in a time of Uncertainty

Do we need a Nudge?

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