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05/02/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

5 Hot Tips for Overcoming Obstacles & your Inner Critic

5 Hot Tips for Overcoming Obstacles & your Inner Critic

It’s all about mindset

Inner critic

blue bullet very smallWhat you say when you talk to yourself [Shad Helmsetter’s best-selling book]

blue bullet very small

Why you give the imposter syndrome permission control your life

blue bullet very smallWhether you are prepared to act ‘as it’ – even ‘fake it till you make it’

blue bullet very small

How much you indulge your gremlins, those inner critics.

 

Susan Jeffers wrote a whole book on ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’.

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

It is essentially about the choices we make. What if you choose to replace fear with another, stronger emotional driver; that of core confidence? Choosing to be controlled by your inner critic is very exhausting and destructive, as is the Imposter Syndrome. Experiment using Appreciative Inquiry’s approach, which is so simple and might need practice: appreciate what is working well and what could work even better – which circumvents anything negative.

Consider carefully when you say yes to your inner critic what it is that you are saying no to. And consider when you say no to your inner critic what is is that you are saying yes to. Ask yourself what is the pay off?

“I’d wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot and think, I can’t do this; I’m a fraud.” – Kate Winslet, Academy Award-winning actress

“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.” – Maya Angelou, Pulitzer Prize-nominated poet and author

“I am always looking over my shoulder, wondering if I measure up.” – Sonia Sotomayor, first Hispanic U.S. Supreme Court Justice

Getting over obstacles

 

What if, whenever an obstacle appears or arrives in your life, instead of getting despondent, being stopped, letting it get bigger and bigger, feeling it’s not fair or giving up you made different choices?

What if Google Translate interpreted ‘obstacle’ as a challenge to be solved? How might that approach influence your mindset? What inspired solutions might emerge?

 

5 Hot Tips (with thanks to Abraham)

1. Tell a better-feeling story about the things that are important to you.

2. Don’t write your story like a factual documentary, weighing all the pros and cons of your experience

3. Instead tell the uplifting, fanciful, magical story of the wonder of your own life

4. Watch what happens as you make different choices

It’ll feel like magic as your life begins to transform right before your eyes!

“Whatever you think you can you can and whatever you think you can’t you make that happen.” Henry Ford shone this spotlight on the power of your thinking to create your reality.

What will you choose?

 

Halina Jaroszewska Jan 2018

 

 

 

Filed Under: Decisions, Mindset, Motivation

28/04/2017 By Isla Baliszewska

Women at the Top

Women at the Top

Woman of Action

Wow!  So much in the media about women’s place at work!

Greg Hurst in the Times pointed out that female leaders are better than their male counterparts.

……The Wall Street Journal last year reported on how men won more promotions and women felt that gender issues contributed to them not getting promotions.  

……Last year the Fawcett Society called for more action to tackle the gender pay gap.  

……The Guardian reported that despite the increase in the number of women in UK boardrooms, they still tend to hold non-executive and non-CEO or Chair positions.

……According to a report from Coutts and the Centre for Entrepreneurs 38%of serial entrepreneurs under 35 are women.

……And Royal Bank of Scotland’s research showed that in 2015  businesses led by women contributed £3.51bn to the UK economy and created 77,000 jobs in 2015.

Wow indeed.  And so the big questions:

      1.  Are women getting the same opportunities in the workplace and in setting up businesses?

      2.  Are women being treated equally in the business world to men?

      3. What do we need to do to make sure this happens?

Sorry, we don’t have the answers all neatly packaged here for you now.  But we are going to explore this issue in the coming months so we encourage you to visit our news page and have a look at our newsletter to get some answers and create some actions in the right direction.

Starting off, please read the first part of Women at the Top Leadership Research; fascinating insights on Women at the Top’s reflections on leadership by Halina Jaroszewska.

Halina’s research is an ongoing project and a valuable contribution to this dynamic subject; if you feel you have something to contribute or you know of a woman who does, please get in touch with Halina.

Filed Under: Career Development, leadership, Motivation

12/04/2017 By Isla Baliszewska

Seeing inside your business self with C-me Colour Profiling

Seeing inside your business self with C-me Colour Profiling

C-me Colour Profiling

Have you ever asked yourself “how can I build on my strengths? How can I make better decisions with greater confidence?” Or wish you had a deeper insight into your behaviours? Try C-me Colour Profiling!

Anita Jaynes of The Business Exchange, had first hand experience of how C-me Colour Profiling can give insights to behaviours and what might be changed to enhance performance and create better relationships.

Effective, efficient and easy to apply – quick to do and quick to get your personal report.  What better way to discover your strengths and become more self-aware?  And for businesses it is a boon!  To be successful, business leaders need to be effective.  They need to know what they do best, what they should get others to do, and how best to communicate objectives in a way that engages everyone in the organisation.

As a successful business leader herself, Anita was eager to explore how C-me could benefit her business, through doing her own profile and then taking it deeper in a Debrief session with Halina Jaroszewska, one of our C-me experts.

Read more about Anita’s C-me experience.

Filed Under: leadership, Mindset, Motivation, Uncategorized

05/01/2017 By Isla Baliszewska

Commitment vs resolutions – looking backwards to look forwards

Commitment vs resolutions – looking backwards to look forwards

Commitment vs resolutions

‘Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness …’

What transforms resolutions into actions? Is there a magic ingredient?

The popular tradition of making New Year resolutions has some of its origins in Ancient Babylon and Rome. The Babylonians would typically return farm equipment that they had borrowed during the year, while in Caesar’s time Janus became the symbol for resolutions because he had two faces that could look to the past and into the future.

The early Christians believed the first day of the New Year should be spent reflecting on past mistakes and resolving to improve oneself in the New Year. There is something about entering ‘into’ the New Year that has appealed to the people throughout the world and over the centuries, as a time for: considering new beginnings, doing things ‘right’ from this new day forward and setting out towards self-improvements.

Looking Forwards

‘Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.’ Eric Zorn

 Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. And so it continues today as we make New Year resolutions to try and improve some aspect of ourselves in the coming year. We all get into the swing of things around the start of the year making resolutions that more often than not gradually fizzle out as the year gets underway. ‘A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.’ Anon

However it still continues to be a tradition to make resolutions as the New Year begins. Mark Twain offers this perspective … ‘New year’s Day …. now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.’ In fact we often ask family, friends, colleagues what resolutions they are going to make. We often proudly announce the resolutions we are going to make. How often do we remember the ones from last year and challenge the resolution maker regarding a re-run in which nothing has changed during the past 12 months. They all sound good … but do they become good in reality? In fact, a recent study found that 22% of people give up on their resolution in the first week and by the end of March more than half of New Year resolvers have fallen off the bandwagon. Oscar Wilde declared that ‘Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account.’

Into the Future

So back to the dictionary to check what resolution actually means! And with thanks to dictionary.com … Resolution is from the Latin resolution, resolution – from resolvere meaning ‘to loosen or dissolve again,’ (re- + solver) which was the original meaning of resolve. The meaning ‘to determine or decide upon a course of action, etc.’ was first used in English around 1523. Interesting how the meanings of words subtly change over time.

So how does commitment fit into the picture? Has it a place in the drama that is called resolution? Well … in the words of Goethe ‘Whatever you can do or dream you can, Begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. Begin it now!’ And to continue the quote, created by WH Murray, that began this article ‘Concerning all acts of initiative and creation there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man or woman could have dreamed would have come their way.’

Merriam Webster Online dictionary describes commitment as ‘an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; especially: an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b: something pledged c: the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled <a commitment to a cause>.’ Interesting how there is a formal element implied.

R + C + A = SR

Resolution (determine or decide) + Commitment (agreement, pledge, obligation) + Action = Successful Result.

How would it be if on the last stroke of midnight from Big Ben, not only did you declare your resolution/s but also made a commitment to yourself to take the first step towards a successful result this time? What would be the impact if you only made resolutions regarding things that truly touched your heart this time? If you not only declared them but also wrote them down with a date attached this time, how might that change your perspective? Who could you be if you always walked your talk?  If you took R + C + A = SR into all areas of your life throughout the year how might that make a difference? If you only made resolutions, agreements, promises that were I alignment with your values what shift might that make possible?

Take a moment to consider this: if the resolutions you share in a moment of euphoria on New Year’s Eve or at the start of the year actually had a legal dimension attached to them, which would you still go for and which would you drop like hot potatoes?

You can also check out your R + C + A = SR by using a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is highly unlikely and 10 is absolutely no question. You can also make your best guess as to which will stay the course.

The crucial aspect of this is to invite yourself to be your best success of the year. Begin it now! Let us help!

Live Now, Do it Now

 (first published January 2009 in Lloyds Banking Group’s The Sales Professional)

 Halina Jaroszewska, PCC ICF Executive Development | Discovering the difference | Exploring Potential

 

 

Filed Under: Mindset, Motivation, Personal Development

01/09/2016 By Isla Baliszewska

Focus and Planning the Olympic Way

Matt Whitlock wins GoldIn an interview with Matt Whitlock on the BBC following the Olympic Games in Rio, Sarah Montague congratulated him on winning two individual gold medals and a bronze medal for the team, and that his first gold medal was the first ever Team GB gold medal for gymnastics.

She asked him some interesting questions: ‘Did you ever dare to dream before Rio ….. ? After winning the first how did you handle yourself? What did you tell yourself?”

Matt’s replies included: “It was about sticking to the plan. We had a job to do. That’s what we kept to. It was to stick to what we were doing. Focus on preparing for one more routine…”

Focus and planning – two crucial elements of achievement.  Studies show that focus is essential to goal achievement. Focus is the ability to direct your attention completely to a specific task or activity.   “Being able to control it (focus) gives you a lot of power, because you know you don’t have to focus on a negative emotion.”

It is relatively easy to focus on something that is going to happen in the short term, but not so easy when you are targeting long term goals.  This is partly because we lose sight of something that does not happen quickly, our forward vision becomes fuzzy and distracted.

The ironic thing to mention about focus is that it can be distracting – as Daniel Kahneman says “Intense focusing on a task can make people effectively blind “. Daniel Simon’s and Christopher Chabris’s brilliant Invisible Gorilla video demonstrates this beautifully.  (Follow the link in our newsletter to watch it).  What you focus on can make you oblivious to other things that are happening around you, and that can be a good thing.

Winning at the OlympicsThe trick is to think carefully and plan what you are going to focus on.  The GB swimming team’s plan, guided by Bill Furniss and sports psychologist Bill Beswick, was that “mediocrity was unacceptable” and that the team would do things the “British way”. With careful planning and by setting high standards and benchmarks and aiming for toughness and resilience Furniss drove his team forward to achieve fabulous results.

With firm planning, clear objectives and proper focus, a lot can be achieved.  So for some tips to realise your ambitions read on:

Do some serious Visioning – “One of the main techniques I used was focusing on the goal and visualising myself competing in the race before the race started “ – Michael Johnson, Olympic gold medallist sprinter.

Be an ACE Goal Setter. If you need help we can guide you – get in touch with us on info@smartcoachingtraining.co.uk.

Minimise multi-tasking – What you are actually doing is using up energy flipping rapidly between tasks. Set aside the other tasks, allocating specific time for them later, allowing you to concentrate your attention where you want it to be.

Keep it simple – don’t overthink. As you become more competent, the individual components of your competence become automatic. Daniel Kahneman again – “As you become skilled in a task, its demand for energy diminishes”; now is the time to hone that skill and engage the added value.

Set aside time to address concerns – be aware of your concerns and allocate time to deal with them.

Enjoy! – Plan to enjoy your achievements and acknowledge your successes as they appear.

 

Isla Baliszewska

 

 

Filed Under: Mindset, Motivation, Personal Development

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