Smart Coaching and Training | Business Support, Consultancy, Mentoring

Transforming Businesses and Lives | Coaching, Mentoring & Training for Excellence

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

 

+44 (0)7788425688 | [email protected]

 

  • Home
    • Coaching News
    • Our Clients
    • About Us
      • Our Team
      • Our Scope
      • Our Approach
      • Social Value
  • People
  • Diversity
    • Artificial Intelligence, Interculturality and Diversity
    • Diversity: Interculturality
    • Diversity: Neuro Diversity
    • Diversity: Cognitive Diversity
      • Profile
    • Diversity: Gender and Sexual Diversity
    • Diversity: Colonialism, Class, Nationality, Ethnicity, Race and Beliefs
    • Diversity: Generational Diversity
    • Diversity: Intersectionality
      • Diversity
  • We Offer
    • Coach
    • Speak
    • Train
    • Consult
    • Wellness at Work
    • Psycho-social Adult Development
  • Profile
    • Behavioural Preference Profiling with C-me
    • Career Preference Profiling with Benchmark
    • C-me comparison to other profiling tools
  • Speak
  • Coach
  • Train
    • Signature Corprate Training, Longer courses and Retreats
    • Workshops and Short Courses
    • On-Line Courses
  • Consult
  • Español
  • Contact

15/05/2020 By David Rigby

I kept my promise, please keep your distance

I kept my promise, please keep your distance

“I kept my promise – don’t keep your distance” is the final plea from the song ‘Don’t cry for me Argentina’, originally a UK no 1 by Julie Covington from the play Evita  and later a hit from the film by Madonna.

How times change!  During lockdown and particularly as lockdown is loosening, the plea is ‘Keep your distance’. Known as ‘social distancing’ but it is really ‘physical distancing’ and nothing to do with ‘social’.

One of the more interesting features of the ‘two metres’, is just how different it is from social practice with different nationalities. 

The Spanish who live with many people in small flats and frequently gather in cafés to socialise and exchange two kisses with even virtual strangers, are having a great challenge. By contrast, the Swedes who typically live alone, are used to keeping distance even with people they know, ins and so they are less likely to find this a problem.


Extrovert or Introvert?

To make life more complicated, some people have been happy (working) at home during lockdown, others who have the constant need to communicate face to face with others all the time, are desperate to go out and are suffering from Zoom overkill, but they cannot give it up.  Of course, it depends whether you are at home alone, or with a group of other people.

Your propensity for remote working will depend upon your Behavioral Preference Profile.  Everyone has individual characteristics as to how they actually are, and for each person there are suggestions as to how you may get better at it. You can learn about

  1. Remote working – How can we be more productive & manage frustrations?
  2. Resilient strengths – How can we play to our real strengths?
  3. Handling setbacks – How can we manage challenges?
  4. Role agility – How do we react to change?
  5. Enabling engagement – How can we stay motivated? 

We would love to help you explore this further so do get in touch.

I kept my distance –

you keep your promise.

“There is nothing more I can think of to say to you.

But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true”


distancing in Khor Fakkan, UAE

Written by David Rigby

Lyrics courtesy Webber/Rice and article inspired by discussion with journalist Lekko Saunders (instagram: artea2010)

Filed Under: C-me Colour Profiling, Communication, Mindset, Motivation, Uncategorized, Wellbeing Tagged With: COVID, distance, profiling, social distance

12/04/2020 By David Rigby

Deportment 2020: Know how to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘Zoom the Zoom’

Deportment 2020: Know how to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘Zoom the Zoom’

In these days of COVID-19 you not only have to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘walk the walk’ but you have to appear good on Zoom. Not only do you have to sound good you have to look good too, And not just you – you are most likely to be working and broadcasting from home – so the view of your home must also give the right impression. I notice every one judging what you look like when you have not been able to go to the beauty salon, nail stylist, or hairdresser for weeks and having to do your own cleaning due to lockdown. Tolerance of shady presentation skills won’t be accepted for long either – so brush up those skills too!.

While you are practicing your body posture and setting up the appropriate lighting and soundscape for your broadcast, whether a serious business meeting or a chat with a distant neighbour take a look at the article below I wrote for Al Arabiya News about deportment training for some stars in the 1960’s. And note how much still applies today. Below is one of many of these articles as published in 2015.

walking the walk

Deportment: Know how to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘walk the walk’

It’s now the winter holiday season, and just like in the UK and USA, here in the UAE you see the girls dressed in impossible heels and wearing designers while staggering to various social venues. One difference here is that, in general, they are not freezing to death on the way to their chosen location.

It’s now the winter holiday season, and just like in the UK and USA, here in the UAE you see the girls dressed in impossible heels and wearing designers while staggering to various social venues. One difference here is that, in general, they are not freezing to death on the way to their chosen location.

They may have the designer frocks, but few of them know how to walk elegantly or indeed talk elegantly. There is an old British expression “You can take a girl out of Essex, but you can never take Essex out of the girl.”

This is because they don’t know about Deportment.

Way back in the early 1960s there was a developing record business called Motown. Based out of a house called “Hitsville USA” in Detroit. In those early days one of several vocal groups was called The Supremes. They were often known as the ‘no-hits’ Supremes as at the time every record had flopped.

But like everyone else in the Motown roster, they went to American etiquette instructor and talent agent Miss Maxine Powell to learn about deportment.

And this is what The Supremes learnt 
• Perform in front of the mirror – see how you look
• Sing with a smile – not like you are in pain
• Learn how to sit on a barstool elegantly, walk stairs, get out of cars 
• Always introduce yourself first, then the visitor introduce themselves
• Never see anyone for 20 minutes after a show
• Continue to grow until there is no breath in your body

In England you were taught how to handle a dazzling array of cutlery in case you went to an exclusive dinner. But the main message in all of this that you will know what to do when you meet the Queen of England.

And this is the message.

That group of three lean individuals from low grade subsidised government housing in The Brewster Projects went on to become worldwide stars. 12 number one hits in USA in three years. That was just the start.

And in 1965 they performed at Britain’s prestigious Royal Variety performance and indeed met the Queen of England.

And they knew how to conduct themselves! Years of lessons about deportment both on and off stage meant they knew exactly what to do. As did many other stars in the Motown roster which included Martha & The Vandellas, Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder – all megastars in their own right. I first saw Stevie Wonder perform when he was 14.

For those who don’t remember The Supremes you may know their lead singer, Diana Ross. In a recording career spanning almost 50 years she sold over 140 million records and is still performing to great reviews today while in her seventies.

But what distinguished them from the rest? In many cases they were the first black girl groups to break into the largely white supper clubs and TV shows. Sure, they can sing, but they could also put on a good show, deal with the audience and not be scared of anyone.

Why could they do this? Because they had deportment.

In the old days in Britain, the rich girls ‘came out’ (different meaning today!) after going to finishing school. They learnt how to walk in heels with a set of books balanced on their heads. These days you can record yourself, take selfies, and video yourself moving around. So observe and improve – sometimes you can’t see it yourself but a coach can help you.

Just putting someone in a posh frock and high heels doesn’t work. To again quote Margaret Thatcher: “If you have to tell people you are a lady – then you aren’t”.And all this applies in a slightly different way to the guys too!

Both need to both ‘talk the talk’ and ‘walk the walk!’

Learn all the skills before it really matters – and when time comes you can walk into the audition or job interview an unknown and come out a star!

David Rigby is a founding director of Smart Coaching & Training. He is based in Europe as an international keynote speaker, trainer, consultant, and executive coach. He developed a training practice focusing on Behavioural Preference Profiling and Signature Corporate Training suite.

Filed Under: Being Confident, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Growing your Business, Mindset, Motivation, Personal Development, Presenting and Presentations, You and Your Career

02/01/2019 By Isla Baliszewska

Ditch or Desire? Finding what behaviours and mindsets you want to have

Ditch or Desire? Finding what behaviours and mindsets you want to have

 

New Year New Behaviours and Mindsets

 

         Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits”

-Anon

 

 

Everyone knows that New Year is when we rush around making decisions about what resolutions we need to make, knowing that 9 times out of 10 they won’t stick. So how about stepping up a level, looking at this from a different perspective, being creative, inspirational and a bit playful?

Ask yourself these two Big Questions:

     Big Question One

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]What behaviour or mindset or way of thinking or habit would you dearly love to ditch / eliminate from your life?

     Big Question Two

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]What behaviour or mindset or way of thinking or habit would you desire to have/want to invite into your life?

Have a really good think about them; think what your life will look and feel like without that behaviour or mindset; and what will it look and feel like with the new habit or way of thinking or mindset; what will it bring you to ditch the old ones and invite in the new ones; what will be better; what will be the benefits?

Years ago Volkswagen’s Fun Theory initiative looked at how to change behaviour for the better, specifically getting people to take the escalator rather than the stairs. It worked because – yes, you guessed it – people had fun!  Have a look…

Changing behaviours and mindsets

 

So now you’ve decided what your answers to the two Big Questions are, spend some time playing around with some possible ways of ditching the habits / behaviours / mindsets / ways of thinking that you don’t want, and developing the ones that you really desire.

Be as wacky, ingenious and creative as you want at this stage. Get a load of post it notes and write ideas on each one. Or find a big sheet and felt tip pens and draw your ideas. Or make a super complex spreadsheet if that’s your creative medium. Whatever, have fun!

The final part of this bit of creative play is picking a few of those options to start building some goals from. The subject of ‘Goals’ is another whole conversation; for here and now, stepping into 2019, when you pick a few goals, focus on the first small steps to take towards them. If you want help going further with your goals get in touch with us.

Right now, enjoy your Ditching and Desiring and remember…you’re doing your own Behaviour Change Marketing – on yourself.

 

Changing perspective

Isla Baliszewska 

Filed Under: Mindset, New year's resolutions

19/11/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

What is your Secret Weapon?

What is your Secret Weapon?

What is your Secret Weapon

That is an interview question.  What would you reply? How would you know what to reply? Not quite as bad as the ‘what kind of biscuit are you?’ but equally challenging.

 

To answer it requires another question to be answered first. What am I using my secret weapon for? What is the purpose? Is it to be at the top of my game, to be super productive, to win someone over, to overcome an obstacle, to get into the Aladdin’s cave, conquer another galaxy?

 

Once you have the answer to that question, you can start exploring what your secret weapon actually is. You might be lucky enough to have several of them. The thing(s) or people that you feel you need in order to achieve that purpose. How do you find out?

 

Here’s some food for thought:

 

Let’s say you want to want to win someone over. Interesting research from Dr John Gottman on marital stability indicated that what makes happy couples different from unhappy couples has to do with ‘repair attempts’ when things start getting sticky. Happy couples work on making stuff better. Not only do they make repair attempts but are also good at receiving them. What do you think the secret weapon is here?  Could it be something to do with good communication?

 

Interview Or suppose you want to nail that interview? What would you do if you got the biscuit question? Or the ‘tell me about yourself?’ The recruiting site Glassdoor suggests that storytelling would be a great secret weapon to answer this last question. Another recruiter thinks that the way to wow an interviewer is to be sure to have a good conversation.

 

Or perhaps you need to whip out your secret weapon to secure that crucial sale. Remembering that a sales pitch is a conversation with prospects, how about using a tip from Aston Business School’s research which indicated that creativity was key to landing a sale. Thinking about how to personalise pitch, find solutions to the client’s problems, weave a message that engages.

But perhaps you don’t think you are any good at making repair attempts / telling stories / creative thinking?  That these are not secret weapons in your arsenal.  Well, stop and think, what is the common theme in all of the above examples? It’s communication and relationship building! And we can all do that!

 

Conversations and communications

 

All we need to do is decide what type of relationship is involved and what type of communication we need in our secret weapons. Simple!

 

Have fun finding your secret weapons and if you want a very neat way to take you on that journey, discover more about your communication and relationship preferences using C-me Behavioural preference profiling.

Isla Baliszewska

Filed Under: C-me Colour Profiling, Mindset, Personal Development

29/03/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

Transform your Mindset to Transform your Results

Transform your Mindset to Transform your Results

If Only - john mcsporran CC

The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you commit to and accomplish the things you value.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Why waste time proving over and over how great you are, when you could be getting better?

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Why hide deficiencies instead of overcoming them?

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Why look for friends or partners who will just shore up your self-esteem instead of ones who will also challenge you to grow?

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Why seek out the tried and true, instead of experiences that will stretch you?

“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them”

 Epictetus

We are creatures of habit, driven by impulses to self-protect, to run away from woolly mammoths. Over the years, our learned behaviours become ingrained and our mindset becomes set in patterns.  Renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck illustrates this with a simple idea that makes all the difference – Fixed and Growth Mindsets.

Changing your Mindset

A Fixed Mindset

With a Fixed Mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. If they have a lot, they’re all set, but if they don’t… If you have only a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character, well then you’d better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. People with this mindset also believe that talent alone creates success – without effort. Effort is seen as fruitless if they don’t ‘get it’ then it suggests that they lack the intelligence. Challenges are avoided, as to fail suggests that they ‘lack the intelligence’ required. Getting things wrong and receiving feedback is also seen as negative if it reveals limitations.

A Growth Mindset

With a Growth Mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work – brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience essential for great accomplishment. People with this mindset understand that no one has ever accomplished great things – not Mozart, Darwin, or Michael Jordan – without years of passionate practice and learning. Do people with this mindset believe that anyone can be anything, that anyone with proper motivation or education can become Einstein or Beethoven? No, but they believe that a person’s true potential is unknowable.

Virtually all great people have these qualities. Intelligence can be developed. We can embrace challenges and believe that we can improve at a task. We can see effort as a worthwhile path to mastery. We can see that getting things wrong and receiving feedback is positive and guides further improvement.

 A ‘Teacher’s Mindset’

When we are learning, the mindset of our ‘teacher’ (or trainer or tutor or whoever is giving us new knowledge) can influence how that teacher perceives our performance. Fixed Mindset teachers might see those that struggle or fail to understand an aspect of the learning process as not being sufficiently bright or talented or motivated. Growth Mindset teachers see struggling students as a challenge, learners in need of guidance and feedback on how to improve. And of course once the Fixed Mindset teacher has labelled you, the learner, that label sticks and you are reluctant to challenge it.

How to get the Growth Mindset

The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the Growth Mindset. Scientists tell us that people have more capacity for life-long learning and brain development than they ever thought. Personally, the older I get the more new things I learn, the more new things I try!

To paraphrase French psychologist Alfred Binet “You may not have started out the smartest but you could end up the smartest”.

Have a go……………

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Be curious, keep learning

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Keep trying – you get the results you want through effort and repetition

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Know that you own your mindset – if you want to change it, you can

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Do things differently – surprisingly you’ll likely get a different result

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Recognise that the process is as important as the result

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Practice always speaking in the positive – add ‘at the moment’ or ‘yet’ – you’ll get the mastery in time.

David Rigby

Filed Under: Being Confident, Mindset

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • …
  • 12
  • Next Page »

Contact Info

+44 (0)7788 425688
[email protected]

Smart Coaching & Training Ltd, Reg No 08362126

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Substack
  • Twitter

Recent Featured Posts click on pic to see title and connect to article

They say it’s your birthday

How I discovered Meaning and Purpose

Social Media

We mostly post to David Rigby’s Linked In  and  Facebook

Instagram

My Intercultural Birthday https://www.smartcoachingtraining.com/they-say-its-your-birthday
Just the truth and said better than could and it needs saying over and over again
How I discovered Meaning and Purpose
How I discovered Meaning and Purpose

Facebook

Copyright © 2026 Smart Coaching & Training All Rights Reserved · Privacy Policy · Terms of Service · Privacy Settings