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21/06/2020 By David Rigby

Dealing with ambiguity

Dealing with ambiguity

I don’t like the method but I like the result

One of the challenges of coaching is learning to work with people who have different beliefs than you do. You are not there to proselytise. You are not a missionary and must allow others to take different positions. As a coach you are there to help the client come to his own conclusions and certainly not to say ‘If I were you …..” and impose your own view built on your own opinion.

The right not to have an opinion

One of the great advantages of being a coach is the right not to have an opinion. You will know of football fans who have strong opinions about their teams when they actually know nothing.

Being an ‘expert’ without knowledge is prevalent with many social media users. But in reality the only right to have an opinion is to get the knowledge to form that opinion without resorting to only the media which confirm your beliefs. If you don’t have that knowledge be brave enough to say “I don’t have an opinion” And reserve the right not to spend your time forming your view.

Individual vs Group

In Western society, based on individualism, it can be difficult to recognise that your client believes that the group (whether it be race,religion, political party, country,) is more important than the individual and that conformity is more important than your individual need. In Edith Wharton’s novels about late 19th century America, keeping up appearances was all that mattered and if you did not follow the conventions retribution and exclusion were swift.

Is it the same today? In many societies yes, but the conventions change, and it is no benefit publicly regretting that hitting children is no longer acceptable. There was a time in the UK when politicians kept their affairs in secret, like John Major’s affair with a member of his cabinet , and scandals such as Jeremy Thorpe and Profumo could topple the mighty. Nowadays a Prime Minister can live with his lover and have children in the Prime Ministerial house in Downing Street. Society has changed, and so it should no longer be acceptable to promote hitting children on the grounds that it ‘never did me any harm’, though to many still living with values from a previous era, it still is.

Challenges to long-held beliefs

So much in the news in recent weeks has been a challenge to beliefs some have held dearly for so long. So the questions to ask yourself are:
• Were you own cherished beliefs challenged ?
• When was the last time you reviewed your beliefs and values?
• Have you still got the beliefs and values you were brought up with? The same ones as your mother or priest taught you? And if so, do you know why? (I never thought about it is not a good answer)
• Do you have the same view of history as taught to you in the schools – the winner’s version of history?
• Are you prepared to accept that you were brainwashed in school and look at different perspectives?

As a coach you need to know what your beliefs are in order to recognise whether your client has beliefs you cannot deal with. And to know when to quit.

I don’t like the method but I like the result

Times and collective opinion change. In Bristol in the UK, the symbolic casting of the statue of slave trader Colston in the harbour brought more results than forty years of just talking about it. In US and the world the Black Lives Matter protests have more effect than forty years of putting up with it. And so you have the ambiguity – you might like the result but not the method.
Public opinion has shifted, and UK has yet anther topic to be radically divided on. And as an individual (rather than a coach) you are going to have to have an opinion and perhaps stand up for it. So better build that opinion on knowledge, and learn to defend your stance and realise that it’s OK to have your views which are different from others and indeed to have your own internal conflicting views.

Dealing with ambiguity is a sign of maturity many people just do not get to. Can you?

by David Rigby, Smart Coaching & Training 2020

Filed Under: Uncategorized

15/05/2020 By David Rigby

I kept my promise, please keep your distance

I kept my promise, please keep your distance

“I kept my promise – don’t keep your distance” is the final plea from the song ‘Don’t cry for me Argentina’, originally a UK no 1 by Julie Covington from the play Evita  and later a hit from the film by Madonna.

How times change!  During lockdown and particularly as lockdown is loosening, the plea is ‘Keep your distance’. Known as ‘social distancing’ but it is really ‘physical distancing’ and nothing to do with ‘social’.

One of the more interesting features of the ‘two metres’, is just how different it is from social practice with different nationalities. 

The Spanish who live with many people in small flats and frequently gather in cafés to socialise and exchange two kisses with even virtual strangers, are having a great challenge. By contrast, the Swedes who typically live alone, are used to keeping distance even with people they know, ins and so they are less likely to find this a problem.


Extrovert or Introvert?

To make life more complicated, some people have been happy (working) at home during lockdown, others who have the constant need to communicate face to face with others all the time, are desperate to go out and are suffering from Zoom overkill, but they cannot give it up.  Of course, it depends whether you are at home alone, or with a group of other people.

Your propensity for remote working will depend upon your Behavioral Preference Profile.  Everyone has individual characteristics as to how they actually are, and for each person there are suggestions as to how you may get better at it. You can learn about

  1. Remote working – How can we be more productive & manage frustrations?
  2. Resilient strengths – How can we play to our real strengths?
  3. Handling setbacks – How can we manage challenges?
  4. Role agility – How do we react to change?
  5. Enabling engagement – How can we stay motivated? 

We would love to help you explore this further so do get in touch.

I kept my distance –

you keep your promise.

“There is nothing more I can think of to say to you.

But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true”


distancing in Khor Fakkan, UAE

Written by David Rigby

Lyrics courtesy Webber/Rice and article inspired by discussion with journalist Lekko Saunders (instagram: artea2010)

Filed Under: C-me Colour Profiling, Communication, Mindset, Motivation, Uncategorized, Wellbeing Tagged With: COVID, distance, profiling, social distance

12/04/2020 By David Rigby

Deportment 2020: Know how to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘Zoom the Zoom’

Deportment 2020: Know how to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘Zoom the Zoom’

In these days of COVID-19 you not only have to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘walk the walk’ but you have to appear good on Zoom. Not only do you have to sound good you have to look good too, And not just you – you are most likely to be working and broadcasting from home – so the view of your home must also give the right impression. I notice every one judging what you look like when you have not been able to go to the beauty salon, nail stylist, or hairdresser for weeks and having to do your own cleaning due to lockdown. Tolerance of shady presentation skills won’t be accepted for long either – so brush up those skills too!.

While you are practicing your body posture and setting up the appropriate lighting and soundscape for your broadcast, whether a serious business meeting or a chat with a distant neighbour take a look at the article below I wrote for Al Arabiya News about deportment training for some stars in the 1960’s. And note how much still applies today. Below is one of many of these articles as published in 2015.

walking the walk

Deportment: Know how to ‘talk the talk’ and ‘walk the walk’

It’s now the winter holiday season, and just like in the UK and USA, here in the UAE you see the girls dressed in impossible heels and wearing designers while staggering to various social venues. One difference here is that, in general, they are not freezing to death on the way to their chosen location.

It’s now the winter holiday season, and just like in the UK and USA, here in the UAE you see the girls dressed in impossible heels and wearing designers while staggering to various social venues. One difference here is that, in general, they are not freezing to death on the way to their chosen location.

They may have the designer frocks, but few of them know how to walk elegantly or indeed talk elegantly. There is an old British expression “You can take a girl out of Essex, but you can never take Essex out of the girl.”

This is because they don’t know about Deportment.

Way back in the early 1960s there was a developing record business called Motown. Based out of a house called “Hitsville USA” in Detroit. In those early days one of several vocal groups was called The Supremes. They were often known as the ‘no-hits’ Supremes as at the time every record had flopped.

But like everyone else in the Motown roster, they went to American etiquette instructor and talent agent Miss Maxine Powell to learn about deportment.

And this is what The Supremes learnt 
• Perform in front of the mirror – see how you look
• Sing with a smile – not like you are in pain
• Learn how to sit on a barstool elegantly, walk stairs, get out of cars 
• Always introduce yourself first, then the visitor introduce themselves
• Never see anyone for 20 minutes after a show
• Continue to grow until there is no breath in your body

In England you were taught how to handle a dazzling array of cutlery in case you went to an exclusive dinner. But the main message in all of this that you will know what to do when you meet the Queen of England.

And this is the message.

That group of three lean individuals from low grade subsidised government housing in The Brewster Projects went on to become worldwide stars. 12 number one hits in USA in three years. That was just the start.

And in 1965 they performed at Britain’s prestigious Royal Variety performance and indeed met the Queen of England.

And they knew how to conduct themselves! Years of lessons about deportment both on and off stage meant they knew exactly what to do. As did many other stars in the Motown roster which included Martha & The Vandellas, Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder – all megastars in their own right. I first saw Stevie Wonder perform when he was 14.

For those who don’t remember The Supremes you may know their lead singer, Diana Ross. In a recording career spanning almost 50 years she sold over 140 million records and is still performing to great reviews today while in her seventies.

But what distinguished them from the rest? In many cases they were the first black girl groups to break into the largely white supper clubs and TV shows. Sure, they can sing, but they could also put on a good show, deal with the audience and not be scared of anyone.

Why could they do this? Because they had deportment.

In the old days in Britain, the rich girls ‘came out’ (different meaning today!) after going to finishing school. They learnt how to walk in heels with a set of books balanced on their heads. These days you can record yourself, take selfies, and video yourself moving around. So observe and improve – sometimes you can’t see it yourself but a coach can help you.

Just putting someone in a posh frock and high heels doesn’t work. To again quote Margaret Thatcher: “If you have to tell people you are a lady – then you aren’t”.And all this applies in a slightly different way to the guys too!

Both need to both ‘talk the talk’ and ‘walk the walk!’

Learn all the skills before it really matters – and when time comes you can walk into the audition or job interview an unknown and come out a star!

David Rigby is a founding director of Smart Coaching & Training. He is based in Europe as an international keynote speaker, trainer, consultant, and executive coach. He developed a training practice focusing on Behavioural Preference Profiling and Signature Corporate Training suite.

Filed Under: Being Confident, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Growing your Business, Mindset, Motivation, Personal Development, Presenting and Presentations, You and Your Career

08/04/2020 By David Rigby

The games people play

The games people play

It’s party time – what is a party without games?

But nowadays games aren’t confined to parties.  Games appear in the workplace too.

  • dominoes

Employee engagement and customer engagement can be low, learning from books can be difficult.  Engagement is also easy to lose and difficult to inspire. Gallup’s 2016 The Worldwide Employee Engagement Crisis report found that only 32 percent of US workers are engaged with their jobs daily; less than half that number, 13 percent, are engaged worldwide. Disengaged employees are less productive and have lower morale because they tend to think negatively about their jobs. Disengaged employees tend to bring their colleagues and teammates down with them,

It is proven that playing motivates people and enhances learning. Recruitment training and being in the office can actually be fun and social Gamification is a technique for applying game mechanics to non-game context, to make it fun and thus increase engagement. 

To successfully gamify you need four steps

  • interactive challenges
  • constant/instant feedbacks
  • competition and social
  • rewards and redemptions.

Gamification taps on everyone’s intrinsic motivations to have fun in enterprises.   Banks and telephone companies use gamification as a rewards and motivation platform to use employees using game psychology.  Community engagement to motivate target behaviours for various purposes such as in employee’s training/performance management or consumer marketing/sales advocacy. 

Why is gamification relevant to me?

You will almost certainly been subject to gamification whether you know it or not.  Those who no longer have the concentration to read a book and resort to little quizzes in FaceBook have been ‘gamified’.  But it’s not only you, its everyone you communicate with.  It is relatively easy to build the software (we can recommend an organisation) but what can you use if for is more the challenge?  The more you develop your soft and mindfulness skills the more likely you are to recognise ways of harnessing the stickiness of gamification to bring the waifs and strays back into the fold for good. Simple badges, levels and points which appear in normal software games can be used to develop continuing engagement.  

What kind of games are YOU likely to want to play?

  • Do you like games which are strictly logical or prefer those which appeal to your emotions?
  • Do you like to get into the real nitty-gritty, into great detail – or just want to skim the surface?

Your behavioural profiling preferences will tell you whether you are engaged with this – the detail you may or may not need the appeal to the emotions or lack thereof.

Any manager will need to know what social behaviours she may be trying to enhance, which target behaviours will help hit the goals, what extrinsic rewards to offer to get intrinsic motivation, and which tribes and communities she need to engage.

And engagement doesn’t just affect employees. Holding consumers’ attention through the continuous noise of competing marketing messages represents another avenue where engagement is critical to success. Modern consumers are fickle. Unless something truly intrigues them, they move on.

David Rigby – [email protected]

Filed Under: Uncategorized

25/04/2014 By David Rigby

Growing your business in the dark

Growing your business in the dark

Now that I am ensconced in Riyadh thoughts naturally gravitated to Yorkshire and the Rhubarb industry – prompted by BBC Radio 4’s On Your Farm programme on Rhubarb .

Rhubarb is fashionable again today after a major decline after world war two. . Appearing in many guises in the most up-scale restaurants as well as in the greengrocers and yogurt pots.  However it likely that the younger generations don’t know what it is in the greengrocers or what to do with it. It is virtually unknown in the rest of the world, though there are Rhubarb festivals in various parts of US and Canada as well as Wakefield, Yorkshire. Just 1,809 acres are planted across the United States

In studies that compare rhubarb to cranberries, rhubarb offers far more potassium and folate, as well as significantly higher levels of lutein, zeaxanthin, vitamin A, calcium, vitamin K, beta-carotene and magnesium. Rhubarb is also a good source of dietary fibre and vitamin C. It is low in fat and has been shown to have  cholesterol-lowering effects.  Most recent findings place rhubarb in the anti-cancer food group as it contains ample amounts of polyphenols: powerful antioxidants known for stopping and preventing the growth of cancer cells. Rhubarb is a viable product for health conscious  consumers.

It can grow in your garden but a speciality is forced rhubarb which appears earlier in the spring and is much sweeter. It appears to be unique to the UK.

Forced rhubarb is a crop not quite like any other. The plants spend two years out in the fields without being harvested, allowing the roots to store energy. They’re then transferred into heated sheds, where they’re kept in complete darkness. In the warmth, the plants begin to grow, looking for light. The process results in distinctive pink stalks, which – unlike rhubarb grown outdoors – are white inside, and sweeter than the unforced variety. To avoid letting light near the plants, the crop is harvested by candlelight.

With soil and a microclimate well suited to rhubarb, the area between Leeds, Bradford and Wakefield became known as the ‘rhubarb triangle’. Production of forced rhubarb began here in 1877, and at its peak, in the years leading up to World War Two, rhubarb production covered an area of around 30 square miles. By the 1940s there were 200 tonnes leaving Yorkshire by train every day on the Rhubarb Express, much of it bound for Covent Garden in London. But with its connotations of wartime rationing and school dinners, rhubarb declined in popularity after the war, as new tropical fruits arrived on the shelves. From a peak of more than 200 forced rhubarb producers in area, there are now just eleven.  And they can obtain premium prices

So – how did the eleven suppliers survive when the others fell by the wayside?

  • They had to be committed and devoted to their product
  • Recognising that foods go in and out of fashion – what ever happened to ‘chicken in a basket’, prawn cocktail and black forest gateau? They may be ‘out’ now – but they will come back in.
  • To survive the long dip in popularity the suppliers diversified , developing other products to subsidise the Rhubarb business.
  • They turned Rhubarb into a tourist business –  Tours of the Rhubarb forcing sheds are big business.
  • The process was automated as much as possible – to an industrial scale – without losing sight of the traditions   – using candle light for example.

What is not happening is that Rhubarb is not being marketed yet as a Superfood.  It is expensive now in the shops, just wait until it is and prices will be sky high – so get your rhubarb patch in your garden and be ready to rake it in – until then enjoy the fruits (or vegetables) of your labour.

Smart Coaching & Training coaches live in the real world and encourage you to do so to. We will encourage you to undertake ‘out-of-the box’ thinking on your business just as the Rhubarb growers ensured their survival by doing just that

Filed Under: Growing your Business

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