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26/01/2024 By David Rigby

What the butler saw

What the butler saw

Executive Assistants and Work Ethic

I have just finished listening to The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro. In it, the protagonist Stevens, a butler, reviews his life. By putting his duty to his boss above all else he fails to support his father and wrecks the opportunity for a relationship – indeed doesn’t even recognise it. He was privy to many meetings held by his boss, significantly about the treaties after the first world war and meetings with the Germans immediately before the second world war. Never questioning the wisdom of his boss he wonders how his responsibility for the provision of the perfect cup of tea helps with the meetings .

How relevant is this for today?

An Executive Assistant appears to be similar to the role of Butler. Making sure that everything runs smoothy. Recent articles have asked whether the EA should be on the board? To me, lets say at a meeting, it depends on whether the EA is in part responsible for the outcome of the meeting. Providing input and opinion as well as ensuring the smooth running behind the scenes as it were are different responsibilities and different roles . And it depends whether the EA is paid for those different responsibilities,

1975 show of Joe Orton’s 1967 play What the butler saw

The Work Ethic

Working 72 hours per week not only ensures you are not working at your most effective at work but it can completely remove any hope of a personal life. During a coaching session for a client, we had developed a strategy for his career, and I asked what his personal goals were. He replied- to find a partner, get married etc. There was no space in his life to even build a strategy to find a partner let alone execute it. It took him ten years to find a partner.

Perfectionism and Delegation

The butler believed his standards were the only ones, and was incapable of delegation of responsibility. Complete failure to recognise what is ‘good enough’, and that there are other ways of doing the job. The ‘extra mile’ is fine every once in a while.

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro : the book, the film, the audio book

Getting the coffee

It was the butler’s role to provide the tea (and maybe coffee) . These days the first half hour of a meeting can be: going around the room, taking coffee orders, someone leaves the meeting to go to Star*ucks  (and therefore does not participate during that time), then there is this skill of each participant trying to remember what they ordered.  A butler could arrange this, but an Executive Assistant with responsibilities couldn’t because they need to be present. (Personally, as I am in Spain I would insist on a proper coffee from a local café , thereby extending the ‘coffee’ process).

The Remains of the day

In the novel, this refers to how much of your life is left, and the things you might regret

  • Spending too long at the office
  • Not building up connections and lifelong friendships nothing to do with work
  • Not getting a life or even organising a life
  • Not getting too many responsibilities and if you do, making sure you are paid
  • Not finding space to reflect, learning new stuff, changing your strategy.

Gen x/z and the 35 hour week

My Mother always said that if you can’t do your job in 35 hours a week then you are incompetent or in the wrong job .  The butler’s only life was his work.

It used to be: you clocked off your work after 8 hours and clocked back in the next day.  Technology, flexible working and working from home meant being always available, a slave to your job.  So welcome back the 35 hour week and not being always available. And eat the remains of your dinner while it still hot and have a proper Spanish two hour lunch break

It’s your misguided choice to work 72 hours a week, therefore doing someone else out of a job as well as wrecking your own life, . Just don’t expect others to do so. And remember this lifestyle is YOUR CHOICE. Smart Coaching & Training’s coaches can help you get a balanced life .

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

“What the butler saw” is also a play by Joe Orton

Written by David Rigby © 2024 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Authoritarianism, Being Confident, coaching, Emotional Intelligence, hospitality, leadership, Mindset, Mother, New year's resolutions, Personal Development, Presence, Soft Skills, Wellbeing, You and Your Career Tagged With: Executive Assistance, intuitive, keeping tradition, laughter, performing, Smart Coaching & Training, The Remains of the day

11/01/2024 By David Rigby

Enjoying Interculturality

Enjoying Interculturality

Being fully present in multiple cultures simultaneously

Many people find intercultural encounters scary as they are frightened of doing or saying the wrong thing. Gaining experience of different cultures and people can help with your confidence. Knowing your own culture – its benefits and pitfalls – is essential. Being aware of the cultural behaviours of the other cultures you maybe encountering is also useful.

The Christmas period

I live in Spain. During the Christmas period (and for me that’s what it’s called) I had the pleasure of seeing my Argentinean friends and experiencing again how they celebrate Noche Buena (Christmas Eve) with lots of meat well into the night. My guests of the period were my former lodger from Antigua and his mother.  I took them for a very British Traditional Christmas lunch on the seafront at Benidorm where it was warm enough to sit outside.

Hombre G 40th anniversary intergenerational concert

The in-between Period

On the 28th I was fortunate to be invited to a rock concert in a stadium in Madrid. The 40th anniversary concert of the Spanish Band “Hombres G”. Witnessing how middle aged Spanish (therefore Intercultural and Intergenerational) behave: standing up for 2.5 hours singing all the words.

New year Period

Noche Vieja (New years eve) was spent with a traditional Spanish dinner. The next few days were spent in Madrid with one of my best friends from Dubai. We had great fun trying (and succeeding) to find Pork-free and Alcohol-free food on Spanish Menus. Fortunately as part of my personal intercultural training I know my way very well around Spanish Menus. Fortunately also, my other friends and I didn’t feel the need to exclude ourselves from indulging in both, indeed we were encouraged.

Roscon for Reyes,, typical Spanish food, Indian food in Spain, British Christmas lunch

The Reyes (three kings) period

On the night of the 5th of January the Spanish leave a shoe by the Christmas tree in the hope of receiving gifts from The Three Kings. This is why the sales in Spain start January 7 rather than December 26 in UK. There is a traditional cake called a Roscon which is a sweet bread-based ring-shaped dessert which is eaten on January 6th. So we had to abandon eating the British Mince Pies with Brandy Butter for two days to focus on the Roscon. It was great to experience Spanish Epiphany Mass in a village church.

Celebrating Interculturality

None of this would have been possible without the effort made to know people from different cultures, and understand their cultures and also introduce them to mine.
I had a great time because I knew what I was doing, was proud of my own culture and took the time to learn about others. Rather than taking the safe middle ground for fear of upsetting, this was enjoying one’s own and other traditions to the full. You can also do this . Read more here

Smart Coaching & Training works with 20 associates, in four continents speaking 12 languages and raised and working in a wide range of cultures. See our associates here.

Written by David Rigby © 2024 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Being Confident, Emotional Intelligence, hospitality, leadership, Mindset, New year's resolutions, Personal Development, Wellbeing Tagged With: Christmas, intuitive, keeping tradition, laughter, NewYearsEve, Noche Bueno, performing, Reyes, Smart Coaching & Training

18/03/2021 By David Rigby & Martin Kubler

How COVID brought us closer together

How COVID brought us closer together

Hello? Can you hear me? I’m sorry if I’m sounding a bit far away, but I’m currently hanging out with a group of hospitality professionals in Yorkshire while I’m in Dubai. Or was it Stockholm? Or possibly Accra?


There’s little doubt that COVID has wreaked havoc on our industry worldwide. Furloughs in the UK, lockdowns everywhere, limited (if any!) in-outlet dining, cancelled cruises – you name it. I’m not known for laughing challenging trading conditions in the face and shouting “Hey, but look at the bright side!”, but I readily admit that the pandemic has also brought certain positive changes to our industry – the most important one, in my opinion, being that we’ve come closer together.

It didn’t matter where you were

I’ve spend the last 16 years as an expat in various locations that didn’t have an Institute of Hospitality branch and I got used to looking at pictures of meetings, networking events, and celebrations that the Institute and their branches have put on over the years with varying degrees of envy. Then the pandemic hit, everything moved online and suddenly, it didn’t matter anymore where I was based – I could be anywhere.

The Institute of Hospitality’s virtual Thursday Coffee and Conversation mornings provided a first taste of our newfound freedom. Members joined from all over the world and exchanged updates or just engaged in light-hearted conversation to find a few minutes of distraction from the latest lockdown news.

Martin Kubler © Martin Kubler

People started to cooperate and collaborate… new platforms such as www.backtowork.support were born based on our conversations. New ways of presenting and distributing industry news and expertise like the fantastic Hospitality Recovery on LinkedIn Live were tested. If you fancied it and had the time (and, let’s face it, time was something most of us had in abundance during the various lockdowns), you could attend virtual branch meetings and networking events from the comfort of your armchair. One branch even put on a pub-style quiz.

Bringing people closer together

The pandemic has brought us closer together and that’s a good thing. The key, going forward, is to keep the momentum and not let things revert to silos again. The Institute and its members have an important role to play in the process, because we’ve been here, done that, and got the tea cup – in other words, we’ve successfully demonstrated how large international organisations can use technology to bring people closer together, ensure information and expertise flows freely, and collaborations between individual professionals create new opportunities, ventures, and projects

Remember Face to Face?

The pandemic has brought us closer together and that’s a good thing. The key, going forward, is to keep the momentum and not let things revert to silos again. The Institute and its members have an important role to play in the process, because we’ve been here, done that, and got the tea cup – in other words, we’ve successfully demonstrated how large international organisations can use technology to bring people closer together, ensure information and expertise flows freely, and collaborations between individual professionals create new opportunities, ventures, and projects.

Don’t get me wrong, now that I’m based in Europe again, I do want to attend one of the Institute’s annual Fellows’ Dinners. It’ll be my first one and I’m sure will be very enjoyable. The goal isn’t to move everything online – there’s much to be said for face-to-face interactions and good old black-tie jollifications. The goal really should be to use technology in the way, I think, it is meant to be used… to bring people together and to make things more inclusive and, very often, faster.

Cats are for baskets not Zoom calls © David Rigby

The latter is, in my opinion, a key point. Teams can now meet at the click of a button, regardless of where the various team-members are. You don’t need to take minutes anymore, because you can record things – great for people who aren’t totally fluent in English. Right now, I’m involved in a project that brings together professionals from Russia, the Middle East, and Europe. We communicate in English, but some of us find it very beneficial to be able to watch the recordings of our meetings again, just to make sure they understood everything correctly. You can’t rewind a face-to-face meeting, but you can rewind a Zoom meeting.


I hope some of what we’ve learned during the pandemic stays with us even in post-COVID times. The coffee mornings, for example, shouldn’t stop just because we’re all able to meet again IRL, in real life. How else could I find out how Robert’s hotel in Ghana is doing or what’s going on in the Scottish highlands and islands? Quite apart from being able to see the various members’ coffee and tea cups (someone used a massive Homer Simpson cup in today’s call!) and pets (last week I was in a Zoom meeting and a team-member’s cat blocked the screen for a good 5 minutes).
Walking into a face-to-face meeting later in 2021 or 2022 is bound to be like “Oh, I know, you’re the chap with the Homer Simpson cup!” or “What do you mean, you didn’t bring your cat?”.

A version of this article was first published by the Institute of Hospitality

Written by Martin Kubler, © 2021 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd

Filed Under: Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Enterprise, Global teams, Growing your Business, hospitality, Management, Mentoring, Mindset, Personal Development, Soft Skills Tagged With: closer, coaching, COVID, Faceetoface, Foreign, Hospitality, inclusion, profiling, ventures

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