C-me Colour Profiling Archives - Page 4 of 5 - Smart Coaching and Training

22/07/2020 By David Rigby

White Lies Matter

“You might think that, I couldn’t possibly comment!” was the signature phrase of the scheming politician Francis Urquhart, played by Ian Richardson in the 1990 television thriller House of Cards. It’s the great coaching get-out, but what if you did comment and were sparing with the truth?

“Does my bum look big in this?” What can you say? If you don’t say ‘no’ you are in trouble. My father lost a life long friend by responding honestly to the question “What do you think of these paintings I have made?”.

White lies, being economical with the truth a.k.a. lies by omission : Do they have a place in the coaching world? Do they have a place in your everyday world?

it’s ‘the way you tell them’

Ultimately, it’s ‘the way you tell them’ which makes the difference between retaining and losing a client or a friend. How honest an answer will you give, will depend on

Who you are;
Who they are;
The nature of your relationship.

But white lies and omissions are only for the lazy.

Sugar coated diplomacy

For those who are familiar with Behavioural Preference Profiling, which is about communication, the blunt logic of the ‘Reds’ and ‘Blues’ can be an affront when talking to the more emotional ‘greens’ and ‘yellows’ who prefer the truth sugar coated with opinion and diplomacy.

In the world of politics telling blatant lies seems to be the way forward, and of course the history of the winners, as taught in schools, and portrayed by the tabloids, seems not to matter either.

My father used to say ‘Give me the facts’ – and was not interested in opinions. Even if they confirmed his own. He read a left wing broadsheet so there was some hope, but never got the balance, and believed what he read was ‘the truth’ because it was ‘in print’.

In the office, it is well recognised that having the Psychological Safety to be able to speak up and speak out leads to better results but in most organisations cannot be done. To be well at work you need also to be able to both tell the truth and receive the truth. But you must remember

Your truth, is probably your opinion often based on little or biased knowledge of the facts;
Their truth, is probably their opinion often based on little or biased knowledge of the facts.

Learning to debate, without falling out, is a life skill, as is being able to recognise that others may be just as passionate as you about their incorrect views. Learn to live with it. I recently asked a group to debate with me issues I was currently having about recent politics. It helped me enormously. Being able to discuss without fear of retribution is crucial to a healthy life. We can facilitate groups or just coach you honestly to help you resolve your issues. Be brave. – white lies do matter.

Written by David Rigby, Smart Coaching & Training Ltd.

15/05/2020 By David Rigby

I kept my promise, please keep your distance

“I kept my promise – don’t keep your distance” is the final plea from the song ‘Don’t cry for me Argentina’, originally a UK no 1 by Julie Covington from the play Evita and later a hit from the film by Madonna.

How times change! During lockdown and particularly as lockdown is loosening, the plea is ‘Keep your distance’. Known as ‘social distancing’ but it is really ‘physical distancing’ and nothing to do with ‘social’.

One of the more interesting features of the ‘two metres’, is just how different it is from social practice with different nationalities.

The Spanish who live with many people in small flats and frequently gather in cafés to socialise and exchange two kisses with even virtual strangers, are having a great challenge. By contrast, the Swedes who typically live alone, are used to keeping distance even with people they know, ins and so they are less likely to find this a problem.

Extrovert or Introvert?

To make life more complicated, some people have been happy (working) at home during lockdown, others who have the constant need to communicate face to face with others all the time, are desperate to go out and are suffering from Zoom overkill, but they cannot give it up. Of course, it depends whether you are at home alone, or with a group of other people.

Your propensity for remote working will depend upon your Behavioral Preference Profile. Everyone has individual characteristics as to how they actually are, and for each person there are suggestions as to how you may get better at it. You can learn about

Remote working – How can we be more productive & manage frustrations?
Resilient strengths – How can we play to our real strengths?
Handling setbacks – How can we manage challenges?
Role agility – How do we react to change?
Enabling engagement – How can we stay motivated?

We would love to help you explore this further so do get in touch.

I kept my distance –

you keep your promise.

“There is nothing more I can think of to say to you.

But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true”

Written by David Rigby

Lyrics courtesy Webber/Rice and article inspired by discussion with journalist Lekko Saunders (instagram: artea2010)

19/11/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

What is your Secret Weapon?

That is an interview question. What would you reply? How would you know what to reply? Not quite as bad as the ‘what kind of biscuit are you?’ but equally challenging.

To answer it requires another question to be answered first. What am I using my secret weapon for? What is the purpose? Is it to be at the top of my game, to be super productive, to win someone over, to overcome an obstacle, to get into the Aladdin’s cave, conquer another galaxy?

Once you have the answer to that question, you can start exploring what your secret weapon actually is. You might be lucky enough to have several of them. The thing(s) or people that you feel you need in order to achieve that purpose. How do you find out?

Here’s some food for thought:

Let’s say you want to want to win someone over. Interesting research from Dr John Gottman on marital stability indicated that what makes happy couples different from unhappy couples has to do with ‘repair attempts’ when things start getting sticky. Happy couples work on making stuff better. Not only do they make repair attempts but are also good at receiving them. What do you think the secret weapon is here? Could it be something to do with good communication?

Or suppose you want to nail that interview? What would you do if you got the biscuit question? Or the ‘tell me about yourself?’ The recruiting site Glassdoor suggests that storytelling would be a great secret weapon to answer this last question. Another recruiter thinks that the way to wow an interviewer is to be sure to have a good conversation.

Or perhaps you need to whip out your secret weapon to secure that crucial sale. Remembering that a sales pitch is a conversation with prospects, how about using a tip from Aston Business School’s research which indicated that creativity was key to landing a sale. Thinking about how to personalise pitch, find solutions to the client’s problems, weave a message that engages.

But perhaps you don’t think you are any good at making repair attempts / telling stories / creative thinking? That these are not secret weapons in your arsenal. Well, stop and think, what is the common theme in all of the above examples? It’s communication and relationship building! And we can all do that!

All we need to do is decide what type of relationship is involved and what type of communication we need in our secret weapons. Simple!

Have fun finding your secret weapons and if you want a very neat way to take you on that journey, discover more about your communication and relationship preferences using C-me Behavioural preference profiling.

Isla Baliszewska

11/06/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

When is a team not a team?

A team is essentially a group of people working together. Forming one can have challenges and a Team Wheel can help you build a great team. But first, let’s explore more the concept of a team, and an effective team.

What does not make a collection of disparate individuals a team? Possibly when…

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]They work in the same room

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]They are married, or in the same family

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]They work for the same boss or company

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]They live in or work in the same country or ethnic group.

What does make a team? It is when:

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]The group members are striving for the same objective/goal/ purpose

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Every member is working for the glory or benefit of the group not for their own individual gain

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Outside the team they are perceived as a team, and the praise and brickbats go to the whole team, not just the individuals

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Within the team, egos are subsumed and everyone helps everyone else for the greater good.

What makes some teams perform better than others?

If you want fast but questionable results build your team with identical views and ways of thinking – they will learn nothing from each other except to confirm prejudices

To get far better outcomes, have a team as diverse and different as possible. Draw from all backgrounds, skills, talents, abilities, have a mix of people and competencies to encourage innovation and positivity and to get optimum results.

The best. truly effective teams:

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Consist of individuals who think and communicate in different ways

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Allow freedom of interaction and sharing of ideas

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Are inclusive, trustful, open and collaborative

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Encourage individual and group growth

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Share a common purpose.

So how do you get the best thinking and communicating from your team?

Everyone is different: some people are more logical, others more emotional, some are more introvert, others more extravert. With these possible four combinations, and C-me Behavioural Preference Profiling Team Wheels, we use the language of colours to grow individual and group awareness and create more profitable interactions:

Red

Yellow

Blue

Green

All people have communication preferences in all four categories but one colour usually stands out. An individual C-me report will give you a chart which something looks like this:

The chart shows your preferences in two contexts, one where you usually operate on a day to day basis, and the other which would be your default under pressure or when you are not adapting to a context.

To make it easy to see how well your team is balanced we can develop a Team Wheel which shows how a team is balanced and can help identify weaknesses to be rectified during the next round of recruitment. Each person’s place on the wheel is charted highlighting where strengths are and where there may be potential skills gaps.

Great communication within a team is when:

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Everyone can learn a lot more by actively listening to what an individual has to say rather than always thinking about how they are going to impress. Learning how to properly communicate in groups, whether to use written, spoken word, video, social media, email, knowing someone else’s preferences can grab or hold someone’s attention and lead to a productive communication experience.

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]All individuals have preferences in both the way they like to receive communication and the way they like to give it. If you want to communicate effectively – i.e. be understood – then one way of addressing this is to communicate with your colleague in the way they prefer to be communicated with. So for example. forget your preference for barking orders with no information, but instead recognise that others may prefer an ordered communication with lots of detail.

The C-me Team Wheel can give a good indication as to the pairs who will have the most difficulty communicating, allowing understanding of potential clashes and making it possible to explore ways to surmount these, using new found skills and different ways of interacting can give profoundly positive results

For more information about getting a Team Wheel to create your best team, email [email protected]

14/05/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

Punishment vs Positive Reinforcement: Can punishment help deliver a better way forward?

A few observations offered by David Rigby on the merits of different ways to get things right….

There appears to be a rise in the use of the word and deed of ‘punishment’ throughout the media and also in everyday life.

In the UK, the British Government together with France and the USA have ‘punished’ Syria for allegedly using chemical weapons. Ignoring history, when Saddam Hussein from Iraq, was waged war on for having chemical weapons for which no evidence was ever found, punishment is all around us. Children get punished for minor misdemeanours. A friend punished his dog by locking him up. Mobs punish anyone who isn’t like them. A well known President threatens punishment in every utterance and his fans love it while the rest of the world despairs. Fortunately he doesn’t deliver.

In the old days, when administering the cane, the school teacher might say “this is hurting me more that it’s hurting you”. Better that neither the teacher nor the student is hurt by not punishing at all. Instead, positive reinforcement – praising the good – is, or at least used to be, the way forward.

How does this affect each of us in our everyday lives?

All our behavioural profiles from C-me Behavioural Colour Profiling contain a section on “blind spots”. These are facets about ourselves that we perhaps know, but always chose to ignore, rather than acknowledge or fix. With politicians no amount of facts will sway the opinion they want to peddle. But with ourselves – do we really want to believe our own hype? Or do we want to improve ourselves? Punishing ourselves for eating the extra piece of cake with a two hour spinning class? What does that achieve? Eat more cake!

Positive reinforcement is a technique where we, or a coach, will identify things we have done well or achieved. And will express praise in positive language. A bad coach may use negative language to try to say the same things – “Do not give up now” etc, putting the idea of ‘giving up’ into the coachee’s head, when the goal should be to keep the positive uppermost. Recently in a young offenders institution in London ‘tough love’ was replaced by the reward of chocolate and cakes leading to a fall of 80% in assaults on staff in a year. The all round improvement in morale meant the inmates became more social with each other and much less destructive.

So here are some great options:

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””] Face up to your blind spots

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””] Praise yourself for fixing them rather than punish yourself for having them

[i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””] And perhaps influence others to do the same.

David Rigby

White Lies Matter

it’s ‘the way you tell them’

Sugar coated diplomacy

What is your Secret Weapon?

When is a team not a team?

Punishment vs Positive Reinforcement: Can punishment help deliver a better way forward?

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