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26/08/2020 By David Rigby

The Mindful Flâneur

The Mindful Flâneur

how to get the most of travelling

Valencia

In Old Town

    London

    St Pancras Station

      Vienna

      Where Beethoven lived

        This year, because of COVID, many of you will be forced to take your holidays closer to home. Here is an opportunity to know your home country. Instead of sitting on a beach, queueing for museums and socially distancing in the same shop in a different location why not be a traveller and really get to know somewhere. And excellent way to absorb a city is to be a Mindful Flâneur.

        The term flâneur comes from the French masculine noun flâneur—which has the basic meanings of “stroller”, “lounger”, “saunterer”, “loafer”—which itself comes from the French verb flâner, which means “to stroll”. To me a Flâneur is a person who wanders without a destiny within, especially, a city to observe the buildings, people and the general environment.

        Mindfulness or being mindful is being ‘in the moment’, totally focussed, observing everything and not being judgemental.  So a mindful flâneur really can get the most of ‘just wandering about’ provided they are organised ‘just enough’.

        An  invitation to

        change a habit /way of being in order to appreciate the world

        Alicante

        Old Town

          Manchester

          University In the winter

            Vienna

            Covid Rabbit

              While ‘flâneuring’ is ‘just wandering about’ planning can make the experience more joyful and profitable use of time. Try these:
              • Research to know which areas might have hidden secrets and watering holes. These are often older areas. Don’t make restaurant reservations – you don’t want a time critical destiny.
              • Travelling with minimum baggage – preferably none.
              • As you are venturing into the unknown, potentially you could arrive in risky areas. So leave your wallet behind. Take some money, one credit card, and maybe evidence of who you are in case you need emergency medical assistance, and tell someone where you are going.
              • Dress appropriately. Don’t attract muggers and robbers. No Jewellery no expensive watches. Dress downmarket – but you may meet interesting people so don’t look like a vagrant either. Take with you a sun hat and an umbrella. And layers of clothes you can put on or take off

              Be a flâneur not a tourist.

              The assumption is you are walking. Difficult to be a flaneur in a car. No need to tick off the places you have researched. You are mindfully observing the mundane.
              Be mindful. “In the moment” means taking in and being part of the events in the street, where you can:
              • Note the Street names. They may be historical, may be in two languages, such as English/Welsh or Catalan/Castellano, and they may point you in the direction of historic churches. The street furniture and paving are also clues to the history.
              • Guess when properties were built. Look at balconies, outside decoration.

              Many older properties descended into potential ruin in the 1960s and now have been gentrified so only the rich can live there.
              You can also take local refreshment in local cafes. Avoid the familiar such as Costa, Starbucks, McDonalds. They are often a triumph of marketing over quality. See what the locals are offering.
              • Look at the nationalities of the food and compare with the nationalities of those who are serving and preparing. And see if there are locals in there.
              • Look at the decoration – may not have been refurbished in years. For me I prefer tea in ancient tea rooms and coffee in modern establishments. Do they use loose tea and don’t use coffee pods?
              • Take your time and talk to people – you never know where your next friend or offer of work is coming from. Look at their behaviours, language, voice tone and match it.

              Behavioural Preference Profile

              Ultimately how you do this will depend on your characteristics based on your behavioural preference profile.

              Cyprus

              Nicosia Border

                Avila

                What crate shall I chose?

                  Liverpool

                  In Penny Lane, there is a barber showing photographs….

                    Most people have behavioural characteristics based on all the colours, usually one prevails.
                    Your behaviour based on your main colour is likely to be
                    • Red: Cover a great distance and not look at anything in detail. Be more interested in the buildings than the people.
                    • Blue: Possibly develop a detailed itinerary and follow it exactly – not being a flâneur at all.
                    • Green: Cover a small distance looking at the people and their lifestyles and wondering how they feel.
                    • Yellow: The distance covered will depend on how many people you meet and chat with on route!

                    Remember that you are not on a marathon or an endurance test, so stop when you have enough and keep an eye about where you are relatively to the bus and metro stops to help you return. Enjoy!

                    Written by David Rigby

                    © 2020 Smart Coaching & Training Ltd 


                    Ultimately how you do this will depend on your characteristics based on your behavioural preference profile. Most people have behavioural characteristics based on all the colours, usually one prevails.
                    Your behaviour based on your main colour is likely to be
                    • Red: Cover a great distance and not look at anything in detail. Be more interested in the buildings than the people.
                    • Blue: Possibly develop a detailed itinerary and follow it exactly – not being a flâneur at all.
                    • Green: Cover a small distance looking at the people and their lifestyles and wondering how they feel.
                    • Yellow: The distance covered will depends on how many people you meet and chat with on route!
                    Remember that you are not on a marathon or an endurance test, so stop when you have enough and keep an eye about where you are relatively to the bus and metro stops to help you return. Enjoy!

                    An  invitation to

                    change a habit /way of being in order to appreciate the world

                    Alicante

                    Old Town

                      Vienna

                      Danube

                        Vienna

                        Covid Rabbit

                          While ‘flâneuring’ is ‘just wandering about’ planning can make the experience more joyful and profitable use of time. Try these:
                          • Research to know which areas might have hidden secrets and watering holes. These are often older areas. Don’t make restaurant reservations – you don’t want a time critical destiny.
                          • Travelling with minimum baggage – preferably none.
                          • As you are venturing into the unknown, potentially you could arrive in risky areas. So leave your wallet behind. Take some money, one credit card, and maybe evidence of who you are in case you need emergency medical assistance, and tell someone where you are going.
                          • Dress appropriately. Don’t attract muggers and robbers. No Jewellery no expensive watches. Dress downmarket – but you may meet interesting people so don’t look like a vagrant either. Take with you a sun hat and an umbrella. And layers of clothes you can put on or take off.

                          Filed Under: Being Confident, C-me Colour Profiling, Communication, leadership, Motivation, Personal Development, Uncategorized, Wellbeing Tagged With: Cyprus, Flaneur, Liverpool, London, Manchester, mindful, Tourist, Travel, Valencia, Vienna

                          22/07/2020 By David Rigby

                          White Lies Matter

                          White Lies Matter

                          “You might think that, I couldn’t possibly comment!”   was the signature phrase of the scheming politician Francis Urquhart, played by Ian Richardson in the 1990 television thriller House of Cards. It’s the great coaching get-out, but what if you did comment and were sparing with the truth?

                          “Does my bum look big in this?”  What can you say? If you don’t say ‘no’ you are in trouble. My father lost a life long friend by responding honestly to the question “What do you think of these paintings I have made?”.

                          White lies, being economical with the truth a.k.a. lies by omission : Do they have a place in the coaching world? Do they have a place in your everyday world?

                          it’s ‘the way you tell them’

                          Ultimately, it’s ‘the way you tell them’ which makes the difference between retaining and losing a client or a friend.  How honest an answer will you give, will depend on

                          • Who you are;
                          • Who they are;
                          • The nature of your relationship.

                          But white lies and omissions are only for the lazy.

                          Sugar coated diplomacy

                          For those who are familiar with Behavioural Preference Profiling, which is about communication, the blunt logic of the ‘Reds’ and ‘Blues’ can be an affront when talking to the more emotional ‘greens’ and ‘yellows’ who prefer the truth sugar coated with opinion and diplomacy.

                          Palau Altea by David Rigby

                          In the world of politics telling blatant lies seems to be the way forward, and of course the history of the winners, as taught in schools, and portrayed by the tabloids, seems not to matter either.

                          My father used to say ‘Give me the facts’ – and was not interested in opinions. Even if they confirmed his own. He read a left wing broadsheet so there was some hope, but never got the balance, and believed what he read was ‘the truth’ because it was ‘in print’.

                          In the office, it is well recognised that having the Psychological Safety to be able to speak up and speak out leads to better results but in most organisations cannot be done. To be well at work you need also to be able to both tell the truth and receive the truth. But you must remember

                          • Your truth, is probably your opinion often based on little or biased knowledge of the facts;
                          • Their truth, is probably their opinion often based on little or biased knowledge of the facts.

                          Learning to debate, without falling out, is a life skill, as is being able to recognise that others may be just as passionate as you about their incorrect views.  Learn to live with it. I recently asked a group to debate with me issues I was currently having about recent politics. It helped me enormously. Being able to discuss without fear of retribution is crucial to a healthy life. We can facilitate groups or just coach you honestly to help you resolve your issues.  Be brave. – white lies do matter.

                          Written by David Rigby, Smart Coaching & Training Ltd.

                          Filed Under: C-me Colour Profiling, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Mentoring, Mindset, News, Personal Development, Wellbeing Tagged With: coaching, profiling, white lies matter, white lives matter

                          15/05/2020 By David Rigby

                          I kept my promise, please keep your distance

                          I kept my promise, please keep your distance

                          “I kept my promise – don’t keep your distance” is the final plea from the song ‘Don’t cry for me Argentina’, originally a UK no 1 by Julie Covington from the play Evita  and later a hit from the film by Madonna.

                          How times change!  During lockdown and particularly as lockdown is loosening, the plea is ‘Keep your distance’. Known as ‘social distancing’ but it is really ‘physical distancing’ and nothing to do with ‘social’.

                          One of the more interesting features of the ‘two metres’, is just how different it is from social practice with different nationalities. 

                          The Spanish who live with many people in small flats and frequently gather in cafés to socialise and exchange two kisses with even virtual strangers, are having a great challenge. By contrast, the Swedes who typically live alone, are used to keeping distance even with people they know, ins and so they are less likely to find this a problem.


                          Extrovert or Introvert?

                          To make life more complicated, some people have been happy (working) at home during lockdown, others who have the constant need to communicate face to face with others all the time, are desperate to go out and are suffering from Zoom overkill, but they cannot give it up.  Of course, it depends whether you are at home alone, or with a group of other people.

                          Your propensity for remote working will depend upon your Behavioral Preference Profile.  Everyone has individual characteristics as to how they actually are, and for each person there are suggestions as to how you may get better at it. You can learn about

                          1. Remote working – How can we be more productive & manage frustrations?
                          2. Resilient strengths – How can we play to our real strengths?
                          3. Handling setbacks – How can we manage challenges?
                          4. Role agility – How do we react to change?
                          5. Enabling engagement – How can we stay motivated? 

                          We would love to help you explore this further so do get in touch.

                          I kept my distance –

                          you keep your promise.

                          “There is nothing more I can think of to say to you.

                          But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true”


                          distancing in Khor Fakkan, UAE

                          Written by David Rigby

                          Lyrics courtesy Webber/Rice and article inspired by discussion with journalist Lekko Saunders (instagram: artea2010)

                          Filed Under: C-me Colour Profiling, Communication, Mindset, Motivation, Uncategorized, Wellbeing Tagged With: COVID, distance, profiling, social distance

                          19/11/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

                          What is your Secret Weapon?

                          What is your Secret Weapon?

                          What is your Secret Weapon

                          That is an interview question.  What would you reply? How would you know what to reply? Not quite as bad as the ‘what kind of biscuit are you?’ but equally challenging.

                           

                          To answer it requires another question to be answered first. What am I using my secret weapon for? What is the purpose? Is it to be at the top of my game, to be super productive, to win someone over, to overcome an obstacle, to get into the Aladdin’s cave, conquer another galaxy?

                           

                          Once you have the answer to that question, you can start exploring what your secret weapon actually is. You might be lucky enough to have several of them. The thing(s) or people that you feel you need in order to achieve that purpose. How do you find out?

                           

                          Here’s some food for thought:

                           

                          Let’s say you want to want to win someone over. Interesting research from Dr John Gottman on marital stability indicated that what makes happy couples different from unhappy couples has to do with ‘repair attempts’ when things start getting sticky. Happy couples work on making stuff better. Not only do they make repair attempts but are also good at receiving them. What do you think the secret weapon is here?  Could it be something to do with good communication?

                           

                          Interview Or suppose you want to nail that interview? What would you do if you got the biscuit question? Or the ‘tell me about yourself?’ The recruiting site Glassdoor suggests that storytelling would be a great secret weapon to answer this last question. Another recruiter thinks that the way to wow an interviewer is to be sure to have a good conversation.

                           

                          Or perhaps you need to whip out your secret weapon to secure that crucial sale. Remembering that a sales pitch is a conversation with prospects, how about using a tip from Aston Business School’s research which indicated that creativity was key to landing a sale. Thinking about how to personalise pitch, find solutions to the client’s problems, weave a message that engages.

                          But perhaps you don’t think you are any good at making repair attempts / telling stories / creative thinking?  That these are not secret weapons in your arsenal.  Well, stop and think, what is the common theme in all of the above examples? It’s communication and relationship building! And we can all do that!

                           

                          Conversations and communications

                           

                          All we need to do is decide what type of relationship is involved and what type of communication we need in our secret weapons. Simple!

                           

                          Have fun finding your secret weapons and if you want a very neat way to take you on that journey, discover more about your communication and relationship preferences using C-me Behavioural preference profiling.

                          Isla Baliszewska

                          Filed Under: C-me Colour Profiling, Mindset, Personal Development

                          11/06/2018 By Isla Baliszewska

                          When is a team not a team?

                          When is a team not a team?

                           

                          A team is essentially a group of people working together.  Forming one can have challenges and a Team Wheel can help you build a great team.  But first, let’s explore more the concept of a team, and an effective team.

                           

                          What does not make a collection of disparate individuals a team?  Possibly when…

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]They work in the same room

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]They are married, or in the same family

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]They work for the same boss or company

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]They live in or work in the same country or ethnic group.

                           

                          What does make a team?  It is when:

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]The group members are striving for the same objective/goal/ purpose

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Every member is working for the glory or benefit of the group not for their own individual gain

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Outside the team they are perceived as a team, and the praise and brickbats go to the whole team, not just the individuals

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Within the team, egos are subsumed and everyone helps everyone else for the greater good.

                           

                          What makes some teams perform better than others?

                          If you want fast but questionable results build your team with identical views and ways of thinking – they will learn nothing from each other except to confirm prejudices

                          To get far better outcomes, have a team as diverse and different as possible.  Draw from all backgrounds, skills, talents, abilities, have a mix of  people and competencies to encourage innovation and positivity and to get optimum results.

                           

                          The best. truly effective teams:

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Consist of individuals who think and communicate in different ways

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Allow freedom of interaction and sharing of ideas

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Are inclusive, trustful, open and collaborative

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Encourage individual and group growth

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Share a common purpose.

                           

                          So how do you get the best thinking and communicating from your team?

                          Everyone is different: some people are more logical, others more emotional, some are more introvert, others more extravert. With these possible four combinations, and C-me Behavioural Preference Profiling Team Wheels, we use the language of colours to grow individual and group awareness and create more profitable interactions:

                                       Red

                                       Yellow

                                       Blue

                                       Green

                          All people have communication preferences in all four categories but one colour usually stands out.  An individual C-me report will give you a chart which something looks like this:

                          Graphs

                          The chart shows your preferences in two contexts, one where you usually operate on a day to day basis, and the other which would be your default under pressure or when you are not adapting to a context.

                          To make it easy to see how well your team is balanced we can develop a Team Wheel which shows how a team is balanced and can help identify weaknesses to be rectified during the next round of recruitment.  Each person’s place on the wheel is charted highlighting where strengths are and where there may be potential skills gaps.

                          Team Wheel crop

                          Great communication within a team is when:

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]Everyone can learn a lot more by actively listening to what an individual has to say rather than always thinking about how they are going to impress.  Learning how to properly communicate in groups, whether to use written, spoken word, video, social media, email, knowing someone else’s preferences can grab or hold someone’s attention and lead to a productive communication experience.

                          [i type=”icon-ok” color=”icon-blue” bg=””]All individuals have preferences in both the way they like to receive communication and the way they like to give it. If you want to communicate effectively – i.e. be understood – then one way of addressing this is to communicate with your colleague in the way they prefer to be communicated with.  So for example. forget your preference for barking orders with no information, but instead recognise that others may prefer an ordered communication with lots of detail.

                          The C-me Team Wheel can give a good indication as to the pairs who will have the most difficulty communicating, allowing understanding of potential clashes and making it possible to explore ways to surmount these, using new found skills and different ways of interacting can give profoundly positive results

                          For more information about getting a Team Wheel to create your best team, email [email protected]

                           

                          Filed Under: C-me Colour Profiling, Communication

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